Two weeks ago we started the discussion of how to avoid wearing clothes that add width and make you look heavier than you are. You can review those first five tips here. Now that you’ve had a chance to experiment with those ideas, let’s continue on with the next five:
6. Pockets can ruin a good outfit. While, pockets can be a very handy addition to a coat or jacket, there are plenty of other situations when you have to wonder what the designer was thinking. Patch pockets (a big square pocket sewn on the outside of a garment) are big offenders when it comes to adding physical and visual bulk, yet they appear on blouses at the bustline, on jackets or sweaters at the waist and on the hips of your skirt or pants. Not only are they large but they often gap or sag unattractively, drawing more focus to the part of your body they cover. Are there exceptions? Yes. If you are small busted, for instance, you can handle a pocket on your chest because you can afford to add volume, but if you are larger breasted, avoid it. It will just make you look bustier than you are and draw focus to that part of your body.

My recommendation is to avoid patch pockets anywhere on your body where you do not want to draw attention. So if you carry weight in your tummy, you certainly do not want to wear a jacket or sweater with pockets at your mid-section. And, if you have a few extra pounds on your hips and thighs, then patch pockets on your longer sweater or cargo pants with pockets on your legs will not do you any favors. Also, while we are on the topic of pockets, angled pockets that are often in women’s dress trousers should be banished. For most women, these pockets just pull and gap and make you look and feel heavier than you are. This does not mean you have to pass up a pair of pants that has them. In most cases, you can apply an easy fix. Just have the pockets removed and sewn shut by your tailor, and the front of your trousers will be nice and smooth.

7. Use color strategically. By this, I mean use color placement to your advantage. One great way to use color well is with color blocking. This just means that instead of wearing all one color or a smaller pattern of colors, you wear large blocks of colors in one outfit. Dresses often demonstrate this idea well. For example, a slimming design is one that has dark side panels (often with the dark panel indenting at the waist to create an hour-glass shape) and a brighter color down the middle of your body.

Take a look at the first dress pictured at the right. The eye automatically goes to the brighter pop of color, and the darker side panels recede, which appears to whittle your waistline. The dress pictured at the bottom offers another example using black and a print so your eye goes to the print and the curve of the floral design accentuates or gives the illusion of, that curve of the body.

You can do this with separates as well. Match your tank top to your skirt or pants, and then wear a long, sleek, dark neutral cardigan or coat jacket. Leave the sweater or jacket open, and you create a long central column of color with the outer jacket fading into the background. Of course, monochromatic dressing—wearing an outfit all in one color (or slightly varying tones of one color) from head to toe—will also have a slimming effect because the eye doesn’t stop or is not drawn horizontally as it would when, for instance, the hem of your yellow sweater contrasts with the brown of your pants.

8. Gathers or pleats around the waist are no one’s best look. While there are exceptions to every fashion rule out there, very few women can pull off gathers around the waist which we sometimes see in skirts that have an elasticized waistband and tiny folds of fabric pulled together known as gathers. This extra fabric adds width and fullness at the waistline. Pleated pants or skirts also add volume at your tummy and hip area and will automatically make you look heavier than you are. Sleek, flat front pants and skirts are always more becoming.

9. An ill-fitting bra adds pounds. You have most likely heard me talk about wearing a bra that fits you properly, and that’s because it is so important in creating a flattering silhouette. When your bra fits you well, your breasts are supported and lifted, and there is more space between your bustline and your waist. And, back fat is reduced when your bra fits your body. It’s a winning solution all around.

10. Accessories can add pounds, too. Yes, even accessories can add the illusion of pounds and a big offender is the choker necklace. Thankfully, chokers are not often a popular fashion accessory, but they do come into style now and again. When they do, choose wisely as they are not always the most flattering embellishment. Wearing a choker is not a big problem if you have a long thin smooth neck—in which case you can wear a thick or thin choker if it really makes you happy. But, in general, if your neck is short or full, the choker will just make your neck look shorter and wider, and, as you get older, it can draw attention to a softening jawline. Chokers can also have a somewhat unsettling effect—dare I say wearers look beheaded?—which is not usually a fashion statement anyone chooses on purpose. In general, a more flattering look is to wear a necklace that hangs down a few inches on your chest creating the illusion of a longer neck.

Did you notice that something was missing in the list of looks that add pounds? I’ve saved horizontal stripes for last.

It has been ingrained in women from a young age that horizontal stripes are universally unflattering and make every woman look heavier than she is. As a result, women everywhere avoid them like the plague. And, this isn’t always necessary. One general rule: the wider the stripe, the heavier it will make you look, and the thinner the stripe, the more slimming it is. Here’s a perfect example. Where does she look the widest?

You can also go one step further. If you want to wear horizontal stripes but worry about looking heavier, choose a thin stripe in related colors, such as medium blue with navy or pink and orange as in the example pictured at the top right, and the effect will be softer and more forgiving (than black and white, for example). You can also experiment with stripes that are wiggly or with patterns where the lines are diffused. These will also have a softer effect as you can see in the dress pictured at the bottom right. That said, it is not all lollipops and roses when it comes to donning a striped garment. As stripes—which are traditionally straight—navigate over your curves, they can look distorted and draw attention to the parts of the body they cover.

Believe it or not, for some women horizontal stripes are a blessing. Women who are tall and thin and feel a bit on the lanky side can use horizontal stripes strategically to add width and break up the vertical line. The point here is that you might not want to dismiss stripes so readily—unless you just don’t like them—and allow for the possibility that you might one day find a beautiful horizontal stripe that looks great and that you enjoy wearing.

I have yet to meet one woman who wants her wardrobe to make her look heavier and wider than she is. That’s why this checklist is so important. Whether you are mixing and matching from your existing wardrobe or out shopping for new items, keep this list handy as you make adjustments to each outfit you put together. In fact, here’s a distilled version of the list so you can refer to it often:

1. Expand your dark (a.k.a., slimming) color repertoire–black is not the only option.
2. Choose clothes that skim your body—not too big or too small.
3. Pair slim cropped pants with shoes with a low vamp to elongate your legs.
4. Ankle straps and high vamp shoes shorten your legs so be careful what you pair them with.
5. Keep your posture tall and straight.
6. Notice the pockets on the garment and make sure they do not detract or add bulk.
7. Use vertical columns of color to create a slimming effect.
8. Avoid gathers or pleats around the waist or hips.
9. Wear a bra that fits perfectly.
10. Avoid wearing a choker necklace unless you are sure it is flattering.

Practice applying these ten powerful tips and watch how those changes make you instantly appear taller and slimmer.

And, watch for an expanded version of this article in my upcoming book, That’s So You! Create a Look You Love with Beauty, Style and Grace due out next month!

There I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror with wet hair, a round brush in one hand and my hair dryer in the other. Click…I turned the dryer on and nothing happened. No worries. I bent down and pushed the reset button and confidently flipped the switch and, you guessed it, there was silence in place of the usual deafening whir of the hairdryer. “Okay,” I told myself, “There has to be an explanation.” I tried pushing the reset button on the outlet as well as the dryer and even plugged it into another outlet just in case the first one was bad. Mild panic was setting in but I remained hopeful. I tried again and again, but still nothing.

All I could think was: You’re going to stop working now! I have a very busy day planned starting with a quick trip to the post office to mail some client orders and then off for a day of shopping with a client. Why couldn’t you stop working tomorrow when I’ll be in my office all day. I’m sure you can imagine my dismay (that’s putting it mildly) when I realized I had no way of styling my hair. Not only that but my hair takes a very long time to dry and there was no way it would be dry enough to throw some hot rollers in it before I had to leave.

Years ago I would have stressed myself out, worried about what others would think and said things like, “Oh, great! Is this the way my day is going to go?” My hair has always, in my opinion, needed extra attention and, while, to most people, this might not seem like a catastrophic event, it brought back memories from, dare I say it, thirty-eight years ago!

It was my first day at Mount Holyoke College and I was meeting the other women in my dorm. I strolled into one woman’s room to introduce myself and we started talking about what we had to do the next day. I learned that we had a swimming test (do they even still do that?) and, here’s the tricky part, we had to go right from the pool to another orientation event. There was not time to do anything other than get dressed and go.

I looked at this poor woman with horror. What do you mean? I can’t dry my hair before we go? She looked at me like I was a crazy person and, I’m sure she thought that if everyone at Mount Holyoke was worrying about her hair, she had clearly chosen the wrong school. I have to add that she had beautiful curly hair that she could let air dry and it always looked great. I, on the other hand, had thick straight (with a slight bend) hair that laid there like a mop if I didn’t do something with it. (Just in case you’re wondering, despite our initial conversation, we are still friends nearly forty years later!)

I spent the next 24 hours worrying about my hair. Everything must have worked out all right or perhaps it was traumatic enough that I pushed the experience from my memory, but I honestly do not remember what happened. I do know that I survived and that worrying did absolutely nothing to help the situation.

Did I deal with the experience differently this time? Oh, yes! I spent a few minutes reviewing my options and looking to see what other handy hair styling tools I had around the house—it turned out none worth mentioning. And, no, cancelling was not an option since my client had traveled 4,500 miles to shop with me and how would I explain that…oh, gee, my hair looks messy so I can’t make it? I don’t think so!

Instead, I decided to channel my “exquisite” energy (that’s the word I use when creating an outfit or deciding what clothes to buy). One of the things I talk with women about all the time is that others pick up on your energy. Yes, how you look makes a difference and you want to feel great about how you present yourself, but if your energy doesn’t match the look you’ve created, others will feel that and pick up on your mismatched energy. I did not want to walk around all day feeling disgruntled or embarrassed about how I looked and pass that energy on to others.

For instance, having my hair look messy was frustrating to me. I had no time to buy a new hair dryer before I left for the day, so I did the best I could with a heated brush. Beyond that I had to let my hair do what it wanted to do. I could have let the rest of my look follow suit and give up on trying to feel good about my image, but would that have made me happy and been a good representation of who I am? No. I also could have dressed in the outfit I had chosen before the hair dryer incident but apologized to everyone I saw or tried to hide or become invisible hoping no one would notice me because my hair looked terrible. This would just make others feel confused, distracted or uncomfortable because my visual message (which was well put together despite my hair fiasco) did not match my energy (which would not be well composed if I felt self-conscious).

What did I do? I promptly dismissed both of the above options and chose instead to dress in an outfit I love and pretend I purposely styled my hair a little differently. (And, I inwardly thanked my hairstylist for giving me such a good haircut.) I deliberately chose not to let one frustrating experience color my day or my interaction with everyone I saw. If anyone noticed my hair they didn’t say anything or give me any funny looks. I suspect (or at least choose to believe) it was a non-issue for them because I made it a non-issue.

I channeled my inner beauty even when everything wasn’t falling together perfectly on the outside. You can do the same thing. Your personal inner beauty can directly influence the energy you express in your wardrobe choices, and it is exactly why I work closely with my clients to determine their four descriptive inner beauty words. Once you feel confident in that energy, if something goes awry, it is relatively easy to do the best you can to fix it in the moment and then let the problem go. You can also learn from the experience. In my case, I bought a new hair dryer and a travel dryer to have on hand just in case.

If, on the other hand, wardrobe malfunctions are a daily occurrence for you or you never feel like your outfit adequately reflects who you are, then that’s a different issue. My malfunction only lasted one day. I expect that it would be so much more exhausting if you had to deal day in and day out with mismatched energy and the frustration that comes with not being able to create a look that feels like you or that reflects your inner beauty to those around you.

Take a minute to consider your own personal style. Is there generally a connection between how you feel inside and the look you create on the outside? If this connection is temporarily broken can you regain your momentum easily? If not, why not? What would you need to do differently to make this happen?

Use these questions to reflect inwardly and gain insight into the source of the disconnect (whether sporadic or regular). Then determine if there is one small inner or outer change you can make right now to inspire you and begin restoring this connection. Your solution, like mine, might be as easy as getting a new hair dryer. Or it might require more inner reflection to determine if your wardrobe is purposefully and effectively expressing who you are. Whether your insights are big or small this exercise will lead you to new areas of awareness in your personal style, and that’s a great way to begin a new year!

The long, cold, colorless winter is upon us here in the northeast, and once the holidays are over we’ll settle in for several months of dreariness (can you tell I just love the winter!). Being cold is not one of my favorite things and yet finding warm, cozy clothes and accessories that are also fun and stylish can be a wee bit of a challenge, to say the least…especially once January comes around and the stores start to think about spring!

So, I scour the stores and internet looking for things to bring light and joy to any woman’s wardrobe, and I am, of course, more than happy to share my special finds.

Here are 5 items that I feel are pretty, refreshing or just downright adorable for you or as a holiday gift…

Warmth & Style All In One! I don’t wear many turtlenecks these days (a softening jawline and all that…) so I’ve taken to adding beautiful scarves to my wardrobe. There are lots of them out there but this one just caught my eye because the color is stunning and will look good on many women. (Coral scarf featured at right. Click here for shopping info) and this one looks cozy and again the burgundy color will look good on many women (Burgundy scarf featured at right. Click here for shopping info).

Give Your ‘Functional’ Accessories a Lift! Add some cheer to your outfit with a handbag in a gorgeous color. In addition to being pretty to look at (coming in red, green, black and silver), practical and timeless, it is also vegan and cruelty-free (Click here for shopping info).

And, as an extra bonus you can use the coupon code ‘Ginger’ through the end of the year and receive $200 discount on any handbag in their collection. I have a Jill Milan bag, and it’s totally elegant.

Big, Bold & Beautiful! Cocktail rings are all the rage right now, and they are fabulous! I have to admit it is one accessory I don’t wear (most look way too oversized on me), but if I did, this is one that I think is elegant, and unusual (Click here for shopping info).

Those of you who have been shopping with me at Jewelry by Karel know how much pizzazz a cocktail ring can add to an outfit, and she has a great selection at great prices. Whether you spend a little (you can find very fun, inexpensive ones on www.etsy.com) or a lot is up to you. It’s a fun way to add a little razzle-dazzle to your holidays.

Pretty PJ’s! I am constantly on the prowl for pretty, feminine, cozy sleepwear. So much of it out there is either dowdy, purely functional or skimpy (for me that means too short) and I’d freeze! I found a fun selection at Soma (Click here for shopping info).

Soothing Comfort All Winter! Historically, winter is a time to hibernate a bit, reflect and relax (yeah, right, you say!). Well, any little bit helps, for sure. That’s why I created this delicious essential oil blend of lavender, geranium and ylang ylang.

Use it as a massage oil or countless other ways (I include a list of suggestions for how to use it with each purchase). (Click here for shopping info).

Yes, the winter is long, but please don’t become just another body dressed in gray or black trudging through the winter months…biding your time until spring. Bring light, joy and delight to your wardrobe now! These are just a few ways to do that.

Feel free to share any juicy, sparkly, fun items you’ve found during your holiday shopping sprees. Let’s help each other celebrate beauty throughout the next few months.

On a recent trip to Rockport, Massachusetts – a gorgeous seaside town – I spent a lot of time milling around and enjoying the gorgeous view and relaxing ambiance. Since it was a beautiful day the main street (or neck, as they call it) was packed with people on vacation. At one point, I had a very distinct realization – everyone looked the same. While all the teenagers were dressed in short shorts, everyone else’s style was kind of an LLBean meets REI look. It made me feel sad. When did women start settling for a largely colorless, shapeless look?

I know. I know. Comfort is key, and I’m with you on that, especially on vacation. Gone are the days when I’ll settle for something that is binding, scratchy or just plain uncomfortable. But, there is a happy medium between uninspired and trendy fashionista.

Summer is all about color and even though it is winding down you can be inspired to carry your colors into the autumn and winter. Flowers of every imaginable color are still everywhere. The ocean is brilliantly blue or green, and the sky is a rainbow of colors from sun up to sundown. There is very little gray or black except what we have added. Nature knows that color is food for the eyes and the soul. So, why not embrace that when you choose your casualwear. Sure, you don’t want to look like a walking fruit bowl but if you choose your best foundation color (for instance, black, beige, white, navy, brown) and pair it with beautiful colors (or even one color if this all feels so foreign), I suspect you’ll be surprised by how delightful it feels!

Here’s a great example of a look that is pretty and comfortable:

Yes, she’s wearing white pants or capris and yes, everyone can look good in them (it’s just a matter of finding the right ones that fit you well and (this is critical) pairing the right top and shoes with them. As one of my clients recently said, “You’ve made me a white convert!” Oh, and if your response is…well, it will get dirty. Yes, you’re right. It might. But I promise they can be washed! And, if that’s too big a jump right now, this top would also look great with jeans or navy shorts or capris. You don’t have to dismiss the entire outfit, just tweak it so it’s you.

Or, how about a maxi dress. One of my clients recently told me that she didn’t think she was a maxi dress kind of gal until she tried the right one on. Then she was sold! Could this be you? It’s so easy to dismiss something we’ve never tried before. This one is pretty, easy to wear, lovely colors and bra-friendly!

Whether you are going to work, out with friends or on vacation, how you dress is all about you. It’s the perfect opportunity to reflect the inner part of you that makes you special. I saw so many women on “the neck” in Rockport wearing gray, beige, black or white t-shirts and neutral colored shorts with Teva sandals or the equivalent. There is no way that all of these women are personality-less. It’s just not possible. Where was the playfulness, sparkle or warmth?

I know that in many cases what has happened is that they have given up (that’s why there’s a chapter in my coaching program “Who Taught You Who To Dress?” that talks about unconscious dressing). Does this sound familiar? Do you feel like you no longer know how to dress your body? As women get older and their body shifts or they gain weight there’s this sense of, “Yikes, now what do I do?” So, they resort to what is easy and safe and call it a day.

I also know that the discomfort intensifies (even if you squish it down) and the sadness escalates. I’ve seen it happen a thousand times. The good news is that this doesn’t have to be the case.

Take it one step at a time, and see what happens. Maybe pick up a fun beach tote that will add that spark you’re missing (click here for more information). Or, as we head into the Fall, you can add a pretty scarf to keep you warm on those chilly mornings (click here for more information).

Just keep at it. The next time you pack to go on vacation, smile and add something fun. Don’t let yourself fade into the crowd or let your style go on vacation when you do. You can look great sightseeing, relaxing at the pool or heading out to a leisurely dinner! Most of all, have fun with it. This is vacation after all!

I occasionally receive calls from men looking for fashion advice. I can see that this is a growing trend and while I do not have any plans to do image consulting for men (other than color analysis for the men in my clients’ lives) I know that they have questions and are looking for guidance, too.

Recently, I have found a couple of wonderful resources for men and I’d like to share one with you now as well as a few very basic fashion tips to help guide men to make good choices.

Men can benefit, too, from basic style guidelines and fashion advice for men (some will sound familiar) when it comes to professional dress. Here are four steps to consider:

Step 1: Select a foundational item that grounds the entire look-suit, sportcoat, pants. If you are going with a neutral, always, use your best neutral colors: black, gray, navy, brown, taupe. Otherwise, choose a piece that is interesting and you love.

Step 2: Select a complementary shirt

• Shirt color should complement the suit (I’m sure you’re not surprised I mentioned color since it’s always one of my number 1 tips!)
• If you are mixing patterns, the sizes should be on a different scale. For example, a larger plaid patterned suit can be paired with smaller checked shirt and vice versa.
• Styling should remain consistent with his look and persona. Classic with classic, modern with modern, etc. Also, when it comes to the collar there are some basic rules of thumb. The collar frames his face, holds his tie and shows his “look.” Wider faces look best with narrower collars while narrow faces can a carry wider spread or cutaway collar. (Remember, a wide collar on a wide face will make his face look even wider. The narrower collar adds balance.) He can claim one style as his own, or choose different styles for different shirts depending on the occasion he is wearing them for.

Step 3: Select a complementary necktie to accentuate the look (the same three rules apply with color, pattern and style).

Step 4: Accessorize the look. Give your look a finishing detail such as cufflinks, a tie bar (functional and decorative) or a pocket square along with a nice belt that coordinates with your shoes. Remember, it’s the accessories that can add polish or an extra touch of personality.

Many women can identify with the overwhelm that comes with creating a look, and while it is clearly easier on many levels for men to make those choices they, too, sometimes still struggle or (does this sound familiar?) fall back on what is easy and safe.

Not only that but often fit is an issue, especially with shirts. When they buy to fit their neck, the sleeves can then be too long or too short or it can be too tight or too loose in the chest or belly. Having a shirt that fits to his proportions will make him look and feel dashing and who wouldn’t want that!

That’s where Jennifer Hardock of J. Hilburn comes in. I have personally experienced her services and this is something every man will love! Shirts made to his specific proportions. Wow! The fit is perfect, and he gets to choose the fabric, collar style, cuffs, and placard.

It gets better! She comes to your home or his office so he can personally select all of the details mentioned above. No more running to the store trying to find what works in the colors he wants. It’s easy and convenient.

I’ve been so impressed that I just had to share this. And, Jennifer encouraged me to offer you a special coupon for $50 off his first selection (shirts typically run between $89 and $159 so this savings is awesome!). Here’s the link (yes, this is real and if you prefer I send it to you directly I can do that, too): http://jhilburn.extole.com/a/clk/4VKvj1. This savings is so great I wouldn’t want you to miss it.

If you’re in the Boston area, Jennifer will be holding a trunk show on Thursday, April 12th from noon to 9 pm at the Liberty Hotel (Ebersol Presidential Suite). You can contact Jennifer at jenniferh@verizon.net.

As you know, having a wardrobe you love builds your self-confidence and just plain feels great! It’s the same for men (even if they don’t say it), and it makes a wonderful birthday or early Father’s Day gift as well.

Boring!  Blah!  Unexciting!  Same old same old!

This is how so many women describe their wardrobes to me.  They are stuck in a rut and can’t see beyond the black pants, white tank top and basic cardigan or blazer (or the equivalent).  Nothing feels inspiring or special.

This doesn’t mean that you have to wear the latest trend(s), crazy color combinations, or humongous jewelry…unless, of course, that suits your personality and lifestyle.  It’s more about stepping out, testing the waters a bit, being a little adventurous and above all being absolutely true to who you are (figuring that part out is part of a much bigger discussion so let’s assume for now that you know who you are deep down inside or at least can guess a bit!).

Now that you have that picture of the super duper basic outfit in mind, let’s talk about how to take a baby step and add some personality and a touch of pizzazz.  While there are countless ways to do that, there are a few key components to consider that will be helpful.

Evaluate your outfit for these elements and choose at least one to amp up the pizzazz factor on an existing “boring” outfit:

Texture

When you pair smooth with smooth with smooth, there is nothing to catch the eye (and this is especially true when it’s all in neutral colors).  Here’s an idea:

This season crocheted tops (with a tank underneath) are hot and can be very pretty if it’s something that appeals to you.  It immediately adds visual interest because of the fun texture and when worn in a great color for you is simple and fun! Click here for more information.

Prints

If you love prints and have been waiting for beautiful ones to grace the stores, you are in for a delicious surprise.  This season is one of the best I’ve ever seen for prints.  Not only because there are lots of them but also because there are lots of different kinds of prints so there’s something for everyone – florals, watercolors, techy digital prints, animal print, geometrics, stripes, tribal and much more.  While I often discourage women from wearing a print head to toe (it can often be too overwhelming!), a little bit of a print can be just the antidote for a dull wardrobe.;

Here’s an example of a pretty watercolor print:

I could have shown you ten or twenty different beautiful prints in tops, dresses and even pants.  See something you like, don’t wait!  Grab it while you can! Click here for more information.

Accessories

This is the place where many women get overwhelmed.  How do you know what works?  What texture, size, color and how many pieces do you wear at once?  No wonder they skip this step.  But, if this sounds familiar, you are missing out!  One client (and she’s certainly not alone) recently said to me that she had no idea how much she needed jewelry to complete her outfits.  Once you venture out with success you’ll never go back to being unadorned!  It’s such a fun way to add personal expression in to your wardrobe.

Let me be very clear that this does not mean that you have to wear lots of jewelry or really large pieces.  That is all very personal and also dictated (to some extent) by the outfit you are wearing and the occasion.  But, you won’t know what works for you or makes your heart sing until you try.

Hint: The next time you go shopping wear the outfit you want to accessorize and play.  See what you like.  Experiment with what looks good and take off what you don’t like.

For instance, this is a very nice sweater on its own, but it definitely needs a little something to make it special (click here for more information):

What happens when you add this necklace? (click here for more information):

Every time you change your jewelry (even when you are wearing the same basic outfit) you change the mood and create an entirely new feel to the outfit.

Start slow.  If this is new, play with one concept at a time and add it to your basic wardrobe.  You’ll be amazed at how it can inspire you each morning as you get dressed and, as with any new habit, the more you do it the more it will feel familiar and natural.

Most of all, have fun!

When I saw my mom at Christmas she came bearing a large box. I shook my head. We had talked about this and had agreed no gifts were expected! So, my first words to her were, “You weren’t supposed to bring anything!” Just having her visit us was such a special treat that we were not expecting another gift. Of course, no one has ever been able to tell my mom what to do, and I saw immediately that this was no exception!

We had no idea what could be in this box (it weighed quite a bit) and so were surprised and delighted to find it full of her prized china teacup collection. For many years we have admired it when we visited, and I know how much she enjoyed them.

They are beautiful and delicate. So, after a million heartfelt thank you’s, I turned to my mom and said, “You know we’ll use these, right? We won’t just put them on display.” We make it a habit to drink out of pretty teacups nearly every day and have for over 20 years so there is no way these will sit on a shelf somewhere.

Why am I telling you this? Because I see that happening with women’s clothes and accessories all the time. Their prized possessions sit in a box or are sequestered in the back of the closet for years (and sometimes decades) never seeing the light of day.

Let’s talk about this a bit, okay? Do you have items that you are “saving” because they have sentimental value, are “too pretty to wear,” are timeless, or cost a lot of money? I know this is a sticky conversation because it’s so personal and these items hold such a prized place in our hearts or memories.

Let me share my experience with you on this topic and see if this helps you to think about it differently. Here are 3 reasons to stop saving those items and use them now:

1. The Big What If… The biggest fear people have around using something they cherish (or simply delight in) is that they might ruin it. So, here’s the truth: yes, you might ruin it. We know that there is a definite possibility that we could break one of the teacups when we use them. Nine times out of ten (maybe 9.99 times out of 10!) this won’t happen. As I mentioned, we’ve been using these delicate teacups for 20 years and haven’t broken a single one yet (and, horrors of all horrors, we even put them in the dishwasher!).

But, we do get to delight in using them every day and nothing can take away our memories of how they feel, how beautiful they look on the table and how much we enjoy drinking from them. Somehow having them sit in a box somewhere or getting dusty on a shelf just doesn’t hold the same magic.

(Sure, some things are not wearable and are treasured memories from a special person in your life. I am not talking about delicate slips from 1900 or a hand-beaded heirloom evening bag that needs to be preserved properly – although I still believe they should have a place of prominence and distinction. Rather I’m talking about those special items you keep looking at but are afraid to use.)

2. The Myth of Timelessness. Very few (really, very few!) garments are truly timeless. There I said it. Even if you disagree (I’ll talk more in-depth about this another time), there’s a much bigger concern here. In general, you do not need your clothes to last 10 or 15+ years. Clothes are made to be worn and if you like your clothes well enough that’s exactly what you will do – hopefully with enough regularity that they will eventually wear out after having served you well. If, however, you save them for only those special moments…not only do you not get to enjoy them the way you should but you run the risk of finding out they are not as timeless as you thought when you finally get around to wearing them.

3. Nowhere To Wear It. This one is actually the easiest. First of all, it helps you determine if you really love it. If you do, you will be excited by the idea of being able to wear it more often. If you don’t really love it you’ll keep finding a reason not to put it on.

Here’s a little exercise:

• Identify a garment or accessory that you have been saving for one of the reasons listed above.
• When you think about using it, do you get excited? If so, continue on to #3. If not, see if you can figure out why. That will help you determine if you should pack it away or give it away – or maybe it just needs some repair or the right accessory. Whatever information you can glean will help you know what the next step is to take.
• Find a time to wear it –within the next week! Maybe it means making a plan to go out to dinner with your husband when you can wear that pretty dress you’ve been saving (even if it is just to the local eatery). Don’t be surprised, however, if things change. Recently, a client told me that she and her husband had plans to go out to dinner to a simple, casual restaurant close by. She decided she just had to wear a gorgeous dress and amazing necklace we had gotten during our shopping trip. When she came downstairs all dressed, her husband took one look at her and said, “Wow! We’re going to the Four Seasons for dinner instead.”Or, perhaps you call your girlfriends and suggest a girls’ night out at your place where everyone wears something she’s been saving. Or, maybe it just means taking a few minutes to switch handbags (in the one you bought 6 months ago but haven’t gotten around to using yet).

As you’re reading this, your mind is probably spinning thinking of all the long forgotten garments or accessories you have tucked away that never see the light of day. This is the perfect opportunity – the new year is fast approaching. Stop saving those items of beauty for a special occasion. In most of our lives, those times just don’t come around often enough, so we have to make them. It can be easier than you think to integrate them into your current wardrobe so you enjoy them (and others get to vicariously through you) through all of the upcoming year and beyond.

It’s that time of year again…the holidays!  Whether you love them or wish you could sleep through the next 6 weeks doesn’t change the fact that they are fast approaching.

Forget the parties, forget the dress up, fancy stuff – there’s already a lot of talk out there about that.  I’d like to talk about how to dress for a cozy gathering of family or friends that is holiday-driven but still casual and fun.  How do you find your holiday glam when your spirit says bah-humbug?

Finding that sweet spot where you look like yourself, feel comfortable and also make it feel special is part of what celebrating is all about.  So many times I hear from women that they get their children all gussied up or they put their heart and soul into the delicious food they’ll prepare but when the time comes to peek in their closets and get dressed, they sigh a long deep sigh of resignation…there’s nothing there that makes them feel as special as they want to.  Then, in a last ditch effort to feel the holiday spirit they grab the same old red sweater with jeans (or the equivalent) and run out the door.

Does that sound even a teensy weensy bit familiar?

I’ve been speaking with a lot of women this past week about their wardrobes and the common theme is “ease.”  Ahhhh, doesn’t the idea of a personal style that allows for ease and grace just make you feel so good? Okay…okay, I know, reality then sets in as you slam your closet door on a wardrobe that seems to contain very little that resembles ease.

I don’t know about you, but that sure sounds good to me – a little more ease and flow is good for everyone.  And, bringing that concept into your wardrobe is just one way to make the holidays a bit more joyful and fun, don’t you think?

What would that look like…for you?

Sure, creating a full wardrobe that makes your heart sing is a fabulous concept and one that is definitely worth focusing on.  But right here and now when the holidays are right around the corner and you just want to feel good now, let’s look at some possibilities.

Here are 3 different options for a lovely, relaxed holiday gathering.  Of course, it’s important to put your own signature on whatever you wear but maybe this will inspire you.

1. Want cozy and feminine? How about a beautiful sweater dress.  And (here’s a great idea), how about if it is in a color other than black!  Try this Cowl Neck Dress (#1 pictured at the right): Click here for more informatiom. Although I absolutely do not recommend those shoes with the dress – even on her long, thin legs they look heavy and clunky!  If you really want to feel cozy, how about black tights and sleek knee high boots?  Add a touch of glam with some fun, sparkly earrings like these Amethyst Purple earrings (#2 pictured at the right): Click here for more information.

2. How about comfy and chic? Yes, it took me a while to embrace (again!) the whole concept of leggings but I have and I love it.  I wear ones that resemble very skinny, stretchy pants so they have a little more body to them than regular leggings and don’t feel so thin and exposed.  And, I always wear something long enough.  Try your favorite pair of leggings with fabulous boots and this sweater over a long sleeve top (that comes down at least crotch length).  Belt the underneath top with one of these fabulous belts (there are some really fun options for belts out there so choose one that speaks to your personality) and let the vest hang loosely (#3 pictured at the right). Click here for more information.

Belts:

The first belt is SO different and totally fun (obviously not for everyone but it’s sparkly and festive) (#4 pictured at the right): Click here for more information.

Stretchy belts are super comfortable and this one, although it has sparkle, is actually somewhat understated.  This adds some glam without being over the top (#5 pictured at the right):  Click here for more information.

This belt is much more casual and is different from the typical belt style we see out there (#6 pictured at the right): Click here for more information.

Don’t like belts?  Try letting the top flow loosely under the vest and wear a long necklace like this one (#7 pictured at the right): Click here for more information.

3.  Cozy, Casual Comfort. If jeans are your thing, step it up by wearing a dark wash jean that fits you beautifully (stretch is the key component) accompanied by your favorite sweater and add a fun faux fur scarf in a delicious color like black currant (#7 pictured at the right): Click here for more information or this fabulous red scrunchy scarf (#8 pictured at the right): Click here for more information. Talk about cozy and festive!

Need help tying a scarf?  Watch my scarf tying video to learn to tie it in a fun new way: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYxVGkwB3TM

Whatever your look, be sure you choose it with intention and are not scrambling at the last minute to find something “acceptable” to wear.  This is a great opportunity to be you in a comfortable setting with people you love – so with a little advanced planning you can relax, enjoy, have fun and look great!

Dear Designers:

Could I talk frankly with you for just a minute?  Like some of you, I have been in the fashion industry for a long time (going on 25 years!) and I love it.  There is, however, one critical area where our attention diverges.  While most of the fashion world is focused on very young, tall and thin women, my clients tend mostly to represent the over 40 woman.  As a result (and because I fall into this category as well), I know what she likes to wear.

Perhaps I could provide some insights to help you create your collection for next season?   I know that your heart is in the right place and you want women to look and feel beautiful but, oh dear, have you tried your designs on women over 40 who might have a few extra pounds floating around here or there and are probably more often closer to 5’4” than 5’9”?

Your goal, I’m certain, is to sell all your designs and not have them end up on the end-of-season sales rack or a consignment store with the tags still on them.  The problem is that there is a slight (and sometimes not so slight) disconnect between what we see in the stores and what is actually wearable by anyone with a little maturity.

I know you didn’t ask me but I also know from watching ‘Project Runway’ that you encourage constructive criticism, so I hope you will take this all in the kind and supportive manner in which it is given.

First of all, what I love about you:

• Thank you for making your designs for plus size and petite women. While some stores have misguidedly eliminated these departments, for those who still support them, it is wonderful to see beautiful garments for women who don’t wear the traditional sizes 2-14.
• Thank you for giving us a variety of skirt lengths, shoes with heels of varying heights and widths, and every imaginable boot style! There is something for everyone and that allows women to express their personality with comfort.
• The new version of the cowl neckline is great – very flattering and stays in place better so we don’t have to fuss with it like we did back in the 1980’s.  Definitely new and improved!
• Thank you for bringing scarves back. It’s amazing how one piece of fabric can add so much beauty, warmth and personality!

I would also like to share a few thoughts of things that women need that seem to be missing from the choices of late:

• Fabrics With Substance. This is probably the most important request of all.  That paper thin, stretchy fabric that so many shell/tank tops and t-shirts are made out of has got to go away…soon!  It is unflattering on 90% of the women who wear it (even young women), because it shows every little lump and bump even on women size 2!  It is so frustrating to find something in the perfect style and color to complete an outfit only to find out that the fabric is dreadful (and that is not an overstatement).
• Bring Brown Back. You promised!  I heard that brown was going to be a staple again this Fall but it’s not really in the stores yet.  Yes, there is some but it’s a warm chocolaty brown that only looks good on some women (like redheads, for instance).  We need more of the basic dark, dark brown that works on so many people.  (Oh, and in case you are wondering…no, black does not look good on everyone…and this becomes even more obvious once we get past of the age of 40.)
• More Jackets…Please. It makes getting dressed a little frustrating when you hyper-focus on one particular style to the exclusion of all else.  Case in point…this season’s long cardigans.  They are a great addition but do we really need 40 million of them (only a slight exaggeration, I think!).  What happens is that there’s no room left for interesting jackets for women who enjoy wearing them or need to dress professionally for work.  (And, please…we don’t need any more black or gray jackets unless, perhaps, they have super interesting details but even then there are thousands of other colors to consider!  Let’s take a risk and add some beautiful colors.  I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised).
• Taking Dresses to the Next Level.Yay for dresses with sleeves.  You have no idea how exciting this is after all these years to be able to buy a dress with sleeves.  Believe me, when it’s literally freezing outside, a sleeveless dress just doesn’t cut it.  So, two quick things about dresses.
  • When you do make sleeveless ones (there are still plenty of them out there), could you please make some short cardigan sweaters in pretty colors (enough with the black already!) to go over them.  Sure, the 20-something crowd can look trendy and cool in a long cardigan over a dress but for the rest of us, we just look and feel frumpy!
  • And, lastly, not every woman wants to (or can) wear a dress that is body hugging.  Many who have curvy hips and thighs look better with a slight A-line (no gathers at the waist, please).  They were here in abundance a season or two ago, and we loved them.  Pretty please, could we have more of these again?

These are just a few of our major requests for now.  I want to thank you in advance for considering these ideas.  If you think I am overstating this, please know that 90% of the women who get in touch with me say they can’t find anything they like out there to wear.  Sure, sometimes it’s because they need some expert guidance but sometimes it’s because the choices are limited.  I just know that together that we can remedy this, and women over 40 everywhere will thank you!

Thank you again.  Feel free to get in touch with me anytime!

With beauty, style & grace,
Ginger

The Fall shopping season is my favorite.  The colors are beautiful and everything looks so cozy.  For the most part, I have to say that this season is shaping up nicely (of course, it is still early but I’m hopeful it will stay that way and get even better as the months pass).

Brown is back (a huge yay!) – although it is still only dribbling into the stores but that should change as the weeks pass.  Stacked heels are giving women the lift without the wobbly feeling.  And, there’s more!

That’s what this special seasonal update is all about.  I’ll share with you what I love and what I don’t in my Fall 2011 “Bewitched, Bothered & Bewildered” Fashion report.  Enjoy!

Bewitched

Color: Bright, bold and rich colors are in.  It’s a delicious time of year!  Orange (we’ll come back to this), cobalt blue, red (yes, it’s a tribute to vampires and blood), magenta, Forest colors (sage, hunter, jade, teal).  Brown is back…thankfully!  And, camel takes on more of a rust tone.

Let’s talk about red for a minute.  They are touting it everywhere as THE color of the season, but I just spent an entire day in Lord & Taylor in New York City with a client who really wanted to wear red and could we find any at all?  Nope!  Not one piece.  So, perhaps it is planning to be fashionably late but don’t get too excited about it yet.

All of this is good except the focus on orange (it’s not a great color for a lot of people although those of us who can wear it are happy!) and the camel moving closer to rust is not fabulous.  Again, those with super duper warm tones in their skin will be ecstatic.  Everyone else will have to admire it from afar!

Dresses & Skirts: There is a lot going on here – every imaginable length is in.  Work dresses (with sleeves…hallelujah!) are hot.  Midi’s (that hit mid-calf) are the newest (albeit tricky) addition.  If it hits you at the widest part of your calf it will make your legs look heavy, so be careful.  Maxi dresses are all the rage but they can overwhelm you in a heartbeat and can look a little goth.  Go ahead and try them but don’t feel badly about leaving them on the rack.

Stacked Heels (including loafers): This trend will make many women’s hearts sing.  What’s most lovely about this is that every heel width is still available so for those for whom stacked heels are too clunky, you can still find slimmer heels, wedges and flats.   For those who have been longing to wear heels but don’t like teetering on stilts, these will be a blessing.  The loafer look (some are even platforms!) could be a bit over the top but some will embrace it and carry it off just great.  It can be a fun look with pants.

Shimmer for Day: One of my favorites!  When the weather gets cold and dreary, wearing something with a little shimmer or sparkle can be a great pick-me-up.  Here’s a great example to wear under a casual sweater or a jacket: http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/lauren-by-ralph-lauren-sleeveless-metallic-jersey-top/3191392?origin=keywordsearch&resultback=5934

Plaid: Once again, plaid is big for Fall.  Like most prints, a little goes a long way so if you like it wear it sparingly and be sure the basic colors in it look good on you.  If you just want to experiment, a scarf is a great way to add a touch of it without going overboard: http://www.zappos.com/echo-design-embroidered-plaid-olive

Capes: Capes are pretty but often fairly impractical – at least here in the northeast where there are usually about 10 days when the weather is just right for you to wear them.  But, if you like that Jane Eyre kind of feeling, have fun with it.  Here’s a beautiful short cape (that is also cruelty-free!): http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/via-spiga-asymmetrical-cape/3176405?origin=related-3176405-60133843-0-1-1

Bothered

Bright Pants: Oh, dear, I had a little 1980’s déjà vu.  Bright red jeans are everywhere.  With rare exceptions (most of which are on the very young) they are tricky.  You really have to know what you are doing and have the personality to pull it off.  Eager to try them?  Get one pair and see what you think (and if you wear them or they sit in your closet looking tempting but never actually make it on your body!).  If you aren’t sure, I’d say skip it.

Feathers in your hair: This is a hugely cruel new fashion trend.  Those long feather extensions sported by celebrities like Mylie Cyrus and Hillary Duff come from live roosters.  They are not fake.  It is bad enough that the roosters are raised so their feathers can be used as fishing lures in fly-fishing but to be a fashion trend has caused the demand to escalate and more roosters are suffering.  Please say no to such a cruel and unnecessary trend. Click here to read more.

Choker Necklaces: These remind me of a prom outfit gone wrong.  Occasionally they can look sweet but mostly not.  And, if you have any softness in the neck area, they will only draw attention to it.  Not to mention that the proportions are totally unbalanced.   There are plenty of other beautiful necklace trends and lengths to experiment with (including long pendants).  I suggest leaving this one alone.

Silky pants: With rare exceptions these will look like you are wearing your pajamas.  They are great for lounging around the house or for celebrities who are super trendy, but otherwise save your money for a style more lasting and flattering.

Sky High Platforms: So what’s up (so to speak) with this crazy trend.  Women are falling (yes, they are!) and teetering unattractively on platforms so high that we fear for their lives.  It is hard to walk gracefully in a shoe like this!  Yes, I think platforms are great fun but when women’s lives (and ankles) are at risk or they walk funny, then what’s the point?

Bewildered

Beehive Hairdo: I have often wondered if this style would ever make a comeback.  Well, it has and not only that but it has incorporated a twist that makes it even a little more eeeuw! – Imagine a “grunge beehive” and the image that brings up.  I’m sure a beehive hairdo can be done tastefully especially if it’s just for an evening out (although I still can’t imagine it’s good for your hair!) but when you add the grunge factor I think all hope is lost.

Mustard Hues: I thought yellow was challenging when that was all the rage for a few seasons but now they are taking it one step further from wearability – mustard!  Sure, there are a few people who look good in it but whereas at least bright yellow looks lively and fun, mustard just looks blah and a tad sickly on someone whose skin tone can’t handle it.  Unless you’re sure, skip it!

The Denim Shirt: Denim never seems to go out of style and that’s fine.  Now that we have a little stretch in denim I have my fair share.  But, when it comes to jean shirts and dresses, beware.  Most of them are made from a soft, lighter colored denim.  Unless you are sure this is a great color for you, I would walk on by.  Also, in most cases, it has a super casual, slightly rustic feel to it, so if that doesn’t fit with who you are or how you want to express your style, again, leave it on the racks.

The shopping season is in full swing and there is a lot to celebrate out there, and, as always, the styles will shift and evolve as the season moves along. Right now, for instance, there are not many jackets for women to wear to work (although there are plenty of suits), while there are lots of long cardigan sweaters.  They can be great for business casual but it’s nice to have the option of a fabulous jacket or two…I suspect we’ll see more of those in the next month.

Have fun exploring.  You’ll see lace, peplums and polka dots throughout the season as well – all fun trends for the right person.  If shopping sometimes feels overwhelming, take this guide with you for a little moral support!

Plan to shop now and again in October, and you’ll round out your wardrobe for the approaching winter.  Mostly, have fun and listen to your inner voice as it guides you to styles that look and feel fabulous!