Stiff, restrictive, scratchy, heavy, fussy…yikes! Is there anything appealing about that? I don’t think so. Gone are those days when we’d suck it in and make it fit all the while wishing we were home in our jammies! Now, we want the comfort of polar fleece without sacrificing style. While that might be pushing it a bit, comfort really doesn’t have to be as elusive as we think. Sadly, however, many women have given up on having it all, so to speak, and have settled for comfort over beauty.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I love polar fleece as much as the next woman, and I certainly have my fair share of them (in beautiful colors, I might add) to wear around the house in the winter. But, when it comes to stepping foot outside my home, they don’t see the light of day.

I’ve also become less and less captivated by fashion at all costs, and by costs I mean discomfort. Remember the old idea that you have to suffer for beauty. I don’t buy it anymore! Believe me, I wore my fair share of restrictive pantyhose in the 1980’s and walked way too far in heels that were meant more for standing than moving. Now, while I still love high heels, I’m much more selective about which ones I choose and when and where I wear them.

What I have seen and heard, however, is that women are sacrificing their personal style – their outer expression of their own uniqueness and beauty – for the sake of comfort. They don’t see how they can have both and after trying unsuccessfully for a while, they give up. Then they feel bored, frumpy, old or invisible but they don’t know how to satisfy their need for cozy ease and beauty.

(NOTE: And, please know that when I speak of beauty I am referring to your own personal definition of beauty (even if you can’t articulate it clearly now) and how it relates to the clothing and style choices you make – not some elusive, ridiculous standard of beauty that the popular culture tries to push on us.)

So, that said, how do you add comfort and beauty to your wardrobe? These 5 tips will help you reframe your comfy vs. beautiful conundrum:

1. Define what is beautiful to you. This is sometimes one of the hardest steps for women to do — often because they don’t even know what the possibilities are. This is where exploring a bit can benefit you or just stepping outside your comfort zone (so to speak) when you are trying things on. Remember, you don’t have to buy something just because you try it on. You can always say no thank you and put it back on the rack. Visit a new store (perhaps one you’ve eyed from outside but haven’t ever gone into) or try on a style you never would have in the past. If it doesn’t work, just chuckle to yourself and put it back. If it does work or at least intrigues you, explore it further.

2. Add Stretch: Since they’ve started adding lycra or elastane to everything clothes have become so much more comfortable. My most favorite designer, Joseph Ribkoff (note to Mr. Ribkoff – please make more colors and less black!) puts stretch in absolutely everything. I can be totally dressed up and be super comfortable when I wear his clothes. (And, none of it (not even the jackets) need to be dry cleaned!)

Let me give you an example. I never, ever wore jeans until they added stretch to them a few years back. Now I find them so much more user-friendly. That said, they still aren’t always as cozy as your yoga pants. If you’re looking for a pair that you can feel put-together in and still feel comfy, try the jeans pictured above. Click here for more information. They are super comfortable and because there is no zipper the front stays nice and flat. (Please note that they tend to run a bit short so for those of you over 5’6 you might have to wear flats with them.)

3. Set a New Intention. If you always assume you won’t find anything that feels fashionable and comfortable then you won’t. It’s that simple. As the old adage goes, if you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right. So, if this is true for you, simply flipping the switch in your mind can make all the difference. Create a new affirmation such as, “More and more I find beautiful, fun clothes that I feel good in when I’m running errands.” Do it often and watch for signs it’s working. If you need to try it on something simpler first. You’ll be amazed!

4. Let Go of: It’s TOO _________ to Wear Everyday. So many women I work with say (at first), “I can’t wear that to run to the grocery store. It’s too dressy.” Or, “It cost too much to wear around the house.” But, think about it for a minute. If it is just sitting in your closet waiting for the right time for you to wear it you are really wasting your money. Sure, this way of thinking might not change overnight but perhaps this will give you some food for thought. If cost is an issue, then try this. Get a pretty dress from a lesser-priced store like Dress Barn and wear it even when you’re cooking (and yes, you can always wear an apron over it)! Click here for more information. Or, I often go to Nordstrom Rack and pick up some fun, comfy, jersey dresses in great colors that I wear around the house when it’s hot. Who says you have to be in shorts and a t-shirt.

5. Take One Baby Step at a Time. If you are reading this thinking, “I don’t know where to start,” then take a deep breath (or 2 or 3) and do just one thing to get started. For instance, if you’re a shorts and t-shirt kind of gal right now, then find a new style t-shirt. Buy just one and see how you feel. Try a Glima T-shirt. Click here for more information. Instead of the square boxy T-shirt with a universally unflattering neckline, you get one in a nice cotton fabric, with pretty colors and a beautiful neckline. I have several of these that I wear at home and to go to our neighborhood café. Here’s a tip: If you prefer short sleeve, just take this to your tailor and have the sleeves cut to the length you like.

Want more help learning techniques to identify what works for you and what doesn’t? Register for my ‘Your Style, Your Way’ workshop coming up on Saturday, June 2. It’s only $325 for a full day with me transforming the way you think about your wardrobe (payment plans also available). You’ll never approach shopping the same way again! But, wait, use this coupon code YSYW10 to take 10% off.

I bet you think I’m going to talk about your hair, don’t you? So many women are contemplating letting their locks go naturally gray and some are even doing it (and looking great!). I’m all for it if you feel good about it. But, that’s not what I’m here to talk to you about today.

One day, not too long ago, I was standing in line in New York City waiting to place my lunch order. With not much to do except look around (and gawk at the sheer number of people waiting to order and the efficiency with which the restaurant was handling the crowds), I did a little people-watching.

It will come as no surprise to you, I am sure, that I am always curious about what people are wearing. On this particular day, there had to be at least 30 people in line and about two-thirds of them were women. It shocked me to notice that every person (men and women) was wearing either gray or black. Yes, every single person! Not one person was wearing another color. Not one!

Well, that’s New York City for you, you might say. Maybe, but let me assure you that sadly the black/gray epidemic has spread beyond the Big Apple. When I gave a presentation to 140 young business women in the Boston area, ninety-eight percent of those in the audience were wearing black or gray (perhaps there was a smattering of navy blue but you get the idea). It was startlingly noticeable.

So, here’s what I’m wondering…Why?

Of course, I hear all the reasons from the women I work with but let’s really look at what gray and black are doing for you…or not doing for you, as the case may be. Let’s start with black because there is so much of it out there and everyone assumes it’s a great neutral.

1. Black goes with everything.

This is generally true if black looks good on you and you are wearing all your best colors with it (which are probably pretty strong colors). But, if your most flattering colors are soft and you try to mix them with black all eyes will be drawn automatically to the black because it will be too harsh compared to the colors that look best on you.

And, let me just say this about black. If it isn’t one of your best colors (and your best colors are based on your hair color, eye color, skin color and your personality) wearing black will naturally drain you, and I’m not just talking about color-wise. Black is very powerful and intense, and it will, if it’s not your best color, stifle your natural joy and radiance.

2. Black doesn’t show dirt.

True enough but there are lots of other beautiful dark colors that will do the same thing. So find the one(s) that look great on you, and they will hide a multitude of sins just as well as black does and often look more flattering.

3. Black is slimming.

Again, who cares if it’s slimming if the overall color is harsh and draining. Other deeper colors will do the same thing. And, guess what, even shades of white will work on you when the outfit is well balanced and in your most flattering colors. (I know the thought of wearing shades of white scares a lot of women so just keep breathing…). Creating a slimming effect is not just about color, by any means.

4. Black is a neutral.

For some it is. But for others it’s not. While some stylists believe that a neutral is a neutral, I don’t. I know that everyone has two or three great neutrals they can wear that work beautifully with their natural coloring and blend well with their best colors. They could include brown, navy, gray, black, camel, cream, and white. This creates a seamless look and gives you lots of ways to play with it without worrying about trying to make a color “work.” Who needs or wants that extra stress?

5. Black is easy.

While there is truth to this it’s mostly because the designers throw so much black (and gray) at us that you can build an entire wardrobe all in black in about 20 minutes. Will it be easy? Yes. Will it be satisfying and delicious? Usually not. As you begin to integrate more of your fabulous colors into your wardrobe, an all black outfit (unless black is really one of your absolute best colors) will lose its appeal.

In many women’s closets black is there for all the reasons above, and it’s no wonder that when they get dressed, they easily find an outfit that is “good enough” or “easy” but that feels lacking in personality. Why end up with an entire wardrobe of “good enough” when you can have (and deserve) so much more?

Now let’s look at gray for a minute, too.

For a couple of years now, gray has been the “new black,” and as a result many women have entire wardrobes created around this color. It felt refreshing to them after so much black, but they were hoodwinked into believing that everyone can wear it well and were told that’s because “it’s a neutral.” Yikes! Light gray only looks good on a tiny fraction of people but huge numbers of women are actually wearing it. Charcoal gray is slightly better but then it just comes close to black. Like any color, if it looks good on you then it’s amazing and that makes it a great neutral, otherwise leave it on the rack. (And, if you’re not sure, steer clear!)

I often hear women say, “But gray looks decent on me.” Be careful of this. In most situations, ‘decent’ is synonymous with “good enough,” and that is a far cry from awesome. There was so much gray in the stores that it made buying it easy but, again, this is not a way to build a lasting and delicious wardrobe. As Cheryl Richardson says, always pass up good for great!

It is never worth it to settle for colors you don’t love and that don’t look beautiful on you. Ninety-nine percent of the time you can find at least some of your best colors in the stores (or wait 2 weeks and new shipments of clothes come in in new colors and you can look again). Do this long enough (even in those seasons when the color choices are challenging), and you’ll have a complete (and beautiful) wardrobe. The more you hold firm and select only the colors that look great on you, the better chance you will have of creating a wardrobe you absolutely love. Give in too often and you end up with a ‘decent’ wardrobe – that doesn’t sound particularly inspiring or fun, does it!

This is one of the key steps in creating a beautiful wardrobe, and there’s very little “gray” area here.

Not sure what colors look best on you? Find a color expert (not someone who does colors by the seasons) and have your own personal palette created. It will be one of the best steps you’ve ever taken toward a fabulous wardrobe. For more information about what a consultation with me looks like, go here: http://totalimageconsultants.com/services/personal/color-analysis/

I occasionally receive calls from men looking for fashion advice. I can see that this is a growing trend and while I do not have any plans to do image consulting for men (other than color analysis for the men in my clients’ lives) I know that they have questions and are looking for guidance, too.

Recently, I have found a couple of wonderful resources for men and I’d like to share one with you now as well as a few very basic fashion tips to help guide men to make good choices.

Men can benefit, too, from basic style guidelines and fashion advice for men (some will sound familiar) when it comes to professional dress. Here are four steps to consider:

Step 1: Select a foundational item that grounds the entire look-suit, sportcoat, pants. If you are going with a neutral, always, use your best neutral colors: black, gray, navy, brown, taupe. Otherwise, choose a piece that is interesting and you love.

Step 2: Select a complementary shirt

• Shirt color should complement the suit (I’m sure you’re not surprised I mentioned color since it’s always one of my number 1 tips!)
• If you are mixing patterns, the sizes should be on a different scale. For example, a larger plaid patterned suit can be paired with smaller checked shirt and vice versa.
• Styling should remain consistent with his look and persona. Classic with classic, modern with modern, etc. Also, when it comes to the collar there are some basic rules of thumb. The collar frames his face, holds his tie and shows his “look.” Wider faces look best with narrower collars while narrow faces can a carry wider spread or cutaway collar. (Remember, a wide collar on a wide face will make his face look even wider. The narrower collar adds balance.) He can claim one style as his own, or choose different styles for different shirts depending on the occasion he is wearing them for.

Step 3: Select a complementary necktie to accentuate the look (the same three rules apply with color, pattern and style).

Step 4: Accessorize the look. Give your look a finishing detail such as cufflinks, a tie bar (functional and decorative) or a pocket square along with a nice belt that coordinates with your shoes. Remember, it’s the accessories that can add polish or an extra touch of personality.

Many women can identify with the overwhelm that comes with creating a look, and while it is clearly easier on many levels for men to make those choices they, too, sometimes still struggle or (does this sound familiar?) fall back on what is easy and safe.

Not only that but often fit is an issue, especially with shirts. When they buy to fit their neck, the sleeves can then be too long or too short or it can be too tight or too loose in the chest or belly. Having a shirt that fits to his proportions will make him look and feel dashing and who wouldn’t want that!

That’s where Jennifer Hardock of J. Hilburn comes in. I have personally experienced her services and this is something every man will love! Shirts made to his specific proportions. Wow! The fit is perfect, and he gets to choose the fabric, collar style, cuffs, and placard.

It gets better! She comes to your home or his office so he can personally select all of the details mentioned above. No more running to the store trying to find what works in the colors he wants. It’s easy and convenient.

I’ve been so impressed that I just had to share this. And, Jennifer encouraged me to offer you a special coupon for $50 off his first selection (shirts typically run between $89 and $159 so this savings is awesome!). Here’s the link (yes, this is real and if you prefer I send it to you directly I can do that, too): http://jhilburn.extole.com/a/clk/4VKvj1. This savings is so great I wouldn’t want you to miss it.

If you’re in the Boston area, Jennifer will be holding a trunk show on Thursday, April 12th from noon to 9 pm at the Liberty Hotel (Ebersol Presidential Suite). You can contact Jennifer at jenniferh@verizon.net.

As you know, having a wardrobe you love builds your self-confidence and just plain feels great! It’s the same for men (even if they don’t say it), and it makes a wonderful birthday or early Father’s Day gift as well.

Boring!  Blah!  Unexciting!  Same old same old!

This is how so many women describe their wardrobes to me.  They are stuck in a rut and can’t see beyond the black pants, white tank top and basic cardigan or blazer (or the equivalent).  Nothing feels inspiring or special.

This doesn’t mean that you have to wear the latest trend(s), crazy color combinations, or humongous jewelry…unless, of course, that suits your personality and lifestyle.  It’s more about stepping out, testing the waters a bit, being a little adventurous and above all being absolutely true to who you are (figuring that part out is part of a much bigger discussion so let’s assume for now that you know who you are deep down inside or at least can guess a bit!).

Now that you have that picture of the super duper basic outfit in mind, let’s talk about how to take a baby step and add some personality and a touch of pizzazz.  While there are countless ways to do that, there are a few key components to consider that will be helpful.

Evaluate your outfit for these elements and choose at least one to amp up the pizzazz factor on an existing “boring” outfit:

Texture

When you pair smooth with smooth with smooth, there is nothing to catch the eye (and this is especially true when it’s all in neutral colors).  Here’s an idea:

This season crocheted tops (with a tank underneath) are hot and can be very pretty if it’s something that appeals to you.  It immediately adds visual interest because of the fun texture and when worn in a great color for you is simple and fun! Click here for more information.

Prints

If you love prints and have been waiting for beautiful ones to grace the stores, you are in for a delicious surprise.  This season is one of the best I’ve ever seen for prints.  Not only because there are lots of them but also because there are lots of different kinds of prints so there’s something for everyone – florals, watercolors, techy digital prints, animal print, geometrics, stripes, tribal and much more.  While I often discourage women from wearing a print head to toe (it can often be too overwhelming!), a little bit of a print can be just the antidote for a dull wardrobe.;

Here’s an example of a pretty watercolor print:

I could have shown you ten or twenty different beautiful prints in tops, dresses and even pants.  See something you like, don’t wait!  Grab it while you can! Click here for more information.

Accessories

This is the place where many women get overwhelmed.  How do you know what works?  What texture, size, color and how many pieces do you wear at once?  No wonder they skip this step.  But, if this sounds familiar, you are missing out!  One client (and she’s certainly not alone) recently said to me that she had no idea how much she needed jewelry to complete her outfits.  Once you venture out with success you’ll never go back to being unadorned!  It’s such a fun way to add personal expression in to your wardrobe.

Let me be very clear that this does not mean that you have to wear lots of jewelry or really large pieces.  That is all very personal and also dictated (to some extent) by the outfit you are wearing and the occasion.  But, you won’t know what works for you or makes your heart sing until you try.

Hint: The next time you go shopping wear the outfit you want to accessorize and play.  See what you like.  Experiment with what looks good and take off what you don’t like.

For instance, this is a very nice sweater on its own, but it definitely needs a little something to make it special (click here for more information):

What happens when you add this necklace? (click here for more information):

Every time you change your jewelry (even when you are wearing the same basic outfit) you change the mood and create an entirely new feel to the outfit.

Start slow.  If this is new, play with one concept at a time and add it to your basic wardrobe.  You’ll be amazed at how it can inspire you each morning as you get dressed and, as with any new habit, the more you do it the more it will feel familiar and natural.

Most of all, have fun!

Each season we wait patiently to see what the upcoming trends are.  Will they give us colors we love, styles that flatter and clothes we can’t wait to wear?  That’s always the question on the tip of our tongues and as always I am here to share this season’s styles and will give you my two cents about what’s great and what’s not (in my humble opinion).

Of course, what actually ends up in the stores is another story and sometimes we don’t see everything until nearly summer.  For now, however, here’s a mix of what I’m hearing will be hot and what I’m seeing in the stores.

As always, choose only what makes your heart sing and adds beauty, style & grace to your wardrobe!

Bewitched

The first thing you will notice is that color is not listed in this category.  This is unusual since, in the past, it has always been front and center – always highlighting those colors that are delicious first.  This time, it’s not that there aren’t any colors out there that are good.  It’s more that there’s this weird mish-mash of colors.  There’s lots of orange and the threat of pastels.  And, to complicate (or delight?) everything, prints and patterns reign (unlike past seasons).  So, until I get more into the season (and, even then, it’s bound to change as the weeks pass), I’m withholding my view of colors somewhat until I can really get a grasp on what they are showing.  So, stay tuned!

Color Blocking: That said, color blocking is still hot.  This time, perhaps because it is spring, light and bright color blocking is hot, which means we are seeing blocks of combinations of colors that do not always include black (what a concept!).  Here, for instance, is a dress in blocks of light and deeper blue.  Pretty and springy! (#1 pictured at right) Click here for more information

Fancy Pants: While I wouldn’t suggest filling your closet with fancy, patterned pants, a pair or two can be kind of fun.  Keep in mind that they are less versatile and more memorable but that shouldn’t keep you from enjoying the trend if you like it.  Just one word of caution – can we please not confuse these with the pajama trend I’ll talk about below?  (#2 pictured at right) Click here for more information

Bright pants: Again, this can be a fun trend.  Just be sure to choose your best color and cut of pants or jeans.  The good news is that there are plenty to choose from.  (#3 pictured at right) Click here for more information

Prints Are Everywhere: We haven’t seen much in the way of prints in the past season or so (or should I say prints worth wearing) but they are making up for it this season, for sure!  Prints are everywhere and many are bold or a little wacky now that they sometimes use the computer to manipulate them.  Some have a sci-fi kind of feel to them or a frenzied quality that will be a tough sell.  But then, there are the pretty watercolor prints that are softer and easier to wear and often come in beautiful, flowing colors.  Add to that animal prints, florals, tribal, and large baroque prints and you’ve covered all the bases!  It and be wonderful and refreshing to add prints to your wardrobe.  Just be sure you choose ones that work for your coloring and personality.  Here’s an example of one that’s intriguing if not a little over the top (#4 pictured at right) Click here for more information

Lace: As usual with spring, all things girly seem to be the rage.  Lace is back and you’ll find it in tops, dresses, collars…you name it.  You’ll either love it or leave it!;

Peplums: Yes, I did include this in the bewitched category on purpose!  On the right body, peplums are great fun (on the wrong one they can add pounds and not flatter).  Plus, what’s nice about them is that they run the gamut from obvious peplums (like this one (#5 pictured at right Click here for more information) that are harder to wear (but lovely when they do work) to very subtle peplums that almost everyone can do.  This one barely qualifies as a peplum (#6 pictured at right Click here for more information).  If it intrigues you, don’t just dismiss it without exploring the possibilities.  You might be pleasantly surprised!

Metallics: Yay!  This is a trend worth keeping and it seems that others agree because it’s still here.  Metallics, especially in shoes and handbags, are super, duper versatile because they go with almost anything – just be sure to find the right metallic for you that blends with your skin tone.

Bothered

Crop Tops & Core Cutouts: Oh, dear, haven’t we been here before…and not all that long ago?  Crop tops didn’t really look that good back then and they really only belong on teenagers at best.  The core cutout is about having pieces of fabric cut out at key locations – often around the waist or under the bustline or along the leg (but not limited to those areas).  When done subtly it can be pretty but it can quickly degenerate into unseemly.

Colors: It’s a fact that orange is hot this season – at least so far.  While I happen to love orange personally, I also know it doesn’t look good on a lot of people and some of those people will buy it anyway.  So, if you look good in it grab it now!  Pastels often crop up as a spring color trend and this year they keep saying they are big but so far I haven’t seen a lot of them in stores.  Of course, it’s still early so that could change.  We’ve gone from bright in the past two seasons to neon, and that is cause for concern.  Most neon is over the top and not that easy to wear.  Be wary, and let’s keep our fingers crossed that we see sprinklings of other beautiful colors as the season progresses.

Pleated Skirts: I want to love pleated skirts.  In fact, when they were in back in the 1980’s one of my favorite suits had a beautiful pleated skirt.  The pleats were sewn down to my hips so it didn’t add any width there and then it was pleated to my knees.  It was lovely, feminine, comfortable and very fun to wear.  Yes, I have seen a couple of these (mostly as part of a suit) and then I’ve also seen pleats gone wrong or, to be fair, pleats that only a few, model-like bodies can wear.  Enjoy this trend if you like it, but be careful.

Bewildered

Pajama Tops & Bottoms: Wasn’t it bad enough that we see a lot of pajama bottoms floating around out there in pubic.  Do they really have to add the top as well?  Let this one die a quiet death, please!

Pussy Bow Blouses (a.k.a., secretary blouse): These can be very sweet and pretty but they can also look matronly in a heartbeat.  Have fun with it if you like it but otherwise steer clear.  (And, I’ll be interested to see what they call it the next time this trend rolls around!).

The best news of all is that the warmer weather is here.  Somehow the fashions always work out.  If you don’t like what you see now, just wait a couple of weeks and it will be different.  Never settle for something you don’t love and by the time the truly warm weather rolls around you’ll have a beautiful wardrobe filled with styles you love wearing.  That’s what matters!

How often can you put an entire outfit on ‘off the rack’ and have it fit perfectly? I mean, really? If you think about it what percentage of time does this happen for you? 100%? 90%? 50%? 20%? Never? If you answered all the time or even 90% of the time, either you are one lucky woman or you are wearing clothes that don’t fit you properly.

Yesterday, I was shopping at a fun consignment store near me and tried on a jacket. It fit perfectly. Wow! I had a moment when I thought, “Yay…It fits, I’ll get it.” Believe me, that moment was fleeting…until I remembered that I need to be sure the colors were good (check), I had other things to wear it with (check, and I wore it today on a cable TV show), and I loved it (yup!).

Is this a regular occurrence for me? No. At least 75% of anything I buy needs to be tailored in some way whether it’s taken in, taken up, let out, or redesigned in some way (which isn’t as daunting as it sounds).

When you open up to the possibility of tailoring a garment you expand your options considerably. Take something that once was so-so, apply a little well-placed nip and tuck or realigned detail, and there you have it – a garment that is made just for you. Whereas if you try to wear it ‘as is’ off the rack you end up looking like you are wearing someone else’s clothes (which, in essence, you are!).

Somehow we’ve gotten it in our heads that we should be able to go shopping, try something on, and wear it out of the store that day looking great, and if we can’t there is something wrong with us…with our bodies. Let me set the record straight. There is nothing wrong with you. Our bodies are individual. No two are exactly alike. We vary in height, weight, valleys, hills and all kinds of in between curves. To think that one garment could fit everyone who is 5’5 and 140 lbs, for instance, is fantasy!

Okay, so you can all now breathe a collective sigh of relief!

So, how do you know? What do you look for? Let me share with you a formula for shopping success once you find something that intrigues you:

• Take the garment into the dressing room and try it on.
• Complete the outfit as much as possible. In other words, if you try to evaluate a long sweater while you’re wearing shorts and a pair of sneakers, chances are really good you’ll hate it. The parts are incongruent and, as they say, “A confused mind always says no.”
• Once you have it on, decide if you like the basic look. Then look for things that aren’t quite right. Here are a few quick tips to think about:
  • Pants, skirts or sleeves are too long. This is an easy alteration. You can waste a lot of time trying to find something that fits perfectly and is the right length when a quick alteration can take care of it.
  • Pants, skirts or sleeves are too short. Check to see if there is enough seam allowance to let it down. Do it before you wear it and wash it so that there won’t be a telltale sign you let it down.
  • Too big on top. If it has sleeves, this can be a tricky alteration. If it has straps then it’s often a super quick, inexpensive alteration to have the straps adjusted so the top fits in the right places.
  • Pants are too big at the waist. This is a common concern. Women either have gapping at the waist or they have to fit their waist and then it bags at the bum. Either way, if it’s minor gapping or bagging, usually it can be tailored to fit nicely. When buying a garment you want to fit the widest part of you first (whether this is your hips, waist, shoulders or bust) and then have the rest of the garment altered. Remember, it is usually easier to take something in than out.
  • Top is too long. Have it taken up – even if it’s just a t-shirt. This is usually one of the easiest alterations and one that most people seem to overlook. It can take a garment from looking frumpy to fabulous with a quick flip of the hem.
  • Pockets that gap. I often ask myself why they put pockets in women’s trousers! More often than not they gap. And, other than putting a tissue in the pocket who stores anything there – it will just add width to the hip line which most women don’t want to do. If yours don’t gap, you’re lucky. If they do, the easiest alteration (and it will have a big positive payback) is to have the pockets removed and sewn up. Easy and clean!
• Go from the store immediately to the tailor. Too many times if you take it home first it will sit there for weeks or months waiting to go (I know, I’ve done it!).

Those are just a few tips to get your mind thinking in this way when you shop. If you immediately dismiss something because the fit is off you will lose some really great clothing possibilities. Yes, sometimes, the alteration is just too big or can’t be done and then, you can let it go with confidence. But, you will be surprised at how often a minor tweak here or there can make a major difference in how something looks and fits.

This part is really important: Always allow for alterations in your clothing budget. If you can’t afford to make the alteration, don’t buy the garment. And, yes, this is absolutely true…if you aren’t willing to spend the money on the alteration (sometimes people say, “Well, I only spent $19.99 on that top. I’m not going to spend $15 to alter it.”), then, don’t buy it. It will never look right and isn’t worth the initial $19.99 (or whatever) investment.

One more thing: If you don’t have a great tailor, ask someone who does. This is really the best way to make sure you get someone who knows what they are doing. The last thing you want to do is entrust someone with your garment and then get it back and find it is unwearable. I have seen this happen more often than I’d care to, so finding your tailor through a referral is the best way to avoid having this happen to you.

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Women never come to me and say I want lots of clothes. Nope…never. In fact, more often than not they tell me that they want to simplify. My interpretation of this is that they want fewer clothes that they wear more often. And while some women might want and actually enjoy accumulating clothes, mostly the pleasure comes from wearing them.

Does this ring true for you, too? Does your sense of yearning come from feeling unfulfilled in your wardrobe (often over a period of years before it gets to the breaking point). You’ve settled into a “good enough” look and then one day notice that you wear the same things over and over because they are easy, and many things hang unworn in your closet.

Multiply this by a million (I suspect it’s at least that many) and that’s a lot of clothes not being worn, and, more importantly, a lot of women feeling out of sorts.

So, why do you have too many clothes? There are lots of reasons and I’ll discuss a lot of them here:

1. You Love To Shop: Let’s get this one out of the way because chances are good that if you’re reading this it is not one of your reasons: you love to shop and enjoy creating beautiful outfits and the biggest problem you encounter is that you don’t have enough days in the week to wear them all as often as you’d like. Okay, so there…we said it. There are some women out there like that for sure but unless they run out of closet space they are usually pretty happy with what they have. If this is you, it can still be helpful to pare things down periodically to the outfits that are your most favorite. Why not do this quarterly? Donate garments, consign, have a clothing swap with your friends, or at least pack lesser-worn items away to see if you really miss them.

2. You Might Need It Someday: This is a biggie. You’ve rarely (or never) worn it. You’re not even sure you like it or that it fits, but, hey, what if you need it someday to complete an outfit. No! No! No! If you can’t make an outfit with it right now (and especially if you don’t love it), get it out of your closet (pack it away if you can’t bear to get rid of it completely). And, if you’re not sure if it can work in your wardrobe get help to find out first. You won’t believe the relief you’ll feel knowing one way or the other. Remember, there is no room in your closet for things you don’t love.

3. Giveaways and Hand-Me-Downs: This is one of those really tricky areas. People feel good about passing things along but they need to work for you…I mean really work for you! Comfort and free clothes are not the most important criteria to consider – it’s a reasonable (and fun) starting place but, before you decide to keep it and wear it, you must ask yourself these questions for starters: Is it a good color? Does it fit or can it be (and will you) tailored? Can you make a complete outfit out of it? If it can’t pass those tests, it goes away!

4. You Spent Good Money On It: All the more reason to understand why it does or doesn’t work so you can either wear it or let it go. Once you know how to complete the outfit you can get your money’s worth out of it. Or, if you finally understand why it doesn’t work, you can let it go and chalk it up to a learning experience (and be wary of making that mistake again).

5. Your Weight Fluctuates: Join the crowd! Raise your hand if you own clothes in more than one size. I can assure that 95% of all women (especially those of us over 40) just raised their hands. It’s okay. Relax and take a breath…phew. What’s not okay, however is keeping all the sizes in the same closet. No! Only the clothes that fit you now belong in the closet you use on a daily basis. Everything else needs to be in another closet or packed away until they do fit.

6. Clinging to the Past: Do you have clothes in your closet from 1992…1987 or even before? Clothes from another job where you had to dress more conservatively? Clothes from a past lifestyle when you used to sail all the time or attend a lot of formal functions? Assessing whether your wardrobe addresses your current lifestyle needs is very important. Hanging onto things you used to wear will keep you stuck in a rut and won’t help you feel authentically you anymore. (And, a special word about the energy of clothes. If some of your past outfits were from a painful or unpleasant time in your past, all the more reason to remove them immediately. You don’t need to keep that energy alive in your closet – it will only deplete you.)

7. It’s Classic: This follows right on the heels of “clinging to the past.” Yes, some styles have a timeless quality about them but many fewer than you would think. Chanel jackets are one thing but even little black dresses and something as basic as jeans go through style changes as the years pass. Yes, you want to take good care of your clothes so you can wear them as long as possible, but the main purpose of your clothes is to be worn. If you really love them and enjoy wearing them…then wear them so much that they wear out. Yes! That means you’ve gotten your money’s worth and have enjoyed the garment before it goes out of style (which 99% of the time will happen).

8. Peer Pressure: This is a tricky one. There’s a fine line between helpful advice from BFF, mother, sister and friendly sales woman and being railroaded into buying something you don’t love. Who needs to add one more thing to their wardrobe that doesn’t feel wonderful? Yes, you want to step out and try new things AND at the same time honor who you are (not the people who are trying to help you). The more you can feel self-confident knowing what you love and what you don’t love the easier it will be to say no to unwanted pressure to buy.

9. Searching For the Perfect Pieces: I once did a wardrobe consultation with a woman who had easily 40 white blouses in her closet. Of those 40 blouses, she generally wore 1 or 2. That’s it! So why did she have so many? Because someone had mistakenly told her that every woman should have a white blouse in her wardrobe and, even if that were true, she discovered that finding the perfect white blouse was trickier than she thought. She kept buying them hoping she’d find one that she loved. She didn’t. The solution? Stop buying white blouses! Find out if a white blouse really speaks to who you are and if so, hold out for one that makes your heart sing (and that you can actually make a complete outfit out of). Otherwise, try something else.

10. You Can’t Get Rid of Anything: This one is arguably the trickiest. It really depends on why you can’t get rid of things. It could be a combination of the reasons above or it could be more deep seeded in which case getting some outside guidance will be so important. Holding on to things that no longer serve you because of past experiences or because they give you peace will eventually backfire. Finding peace within your soul will help you move things along with grace and ease.

Wow! Do you see yourself in one (or more) of those? If so, the most important thing is to take one baby step at a time. That’s it. Just one!

Overwhelm is one of the big reasons women never do anything about an out of control wardrobe. The closet door closes and it’s out of sight out of mind until the next time you get dressed. And, then it smacks you in the face again. Living with that kind of frustration day in and day out does not make for a happy experience.

Getting dressed is meant to be a joyful (or at the very least easy and satisfying) experience. So, what’s the one step you will take in the next 24 hours to move you out of overwhelm and closer to joy? ________________ Please share in the comments area below. Making this commitment will tell the universe you are ready to do some clearing, and we’ll all help support you!

When I saw my mom at Christmas she came bearing a large box. I shook my head. We had talked about this and had agreed no gifts were expected! So, my first words to her were, “You weren’t supposed to bring anything!” Just having her visit us was such a special treat that we were not expecting another gift. Of course, no one has ever been able to tell my mom what to do, and I saw immediately that this was no exception!

We had no idea what could be in this box (it weighed quite a bit) and so were surprised and delighted to find it full of her prized china teacup collection. For many years we have admired it when we visited, and I know how much she enjoyed them.

They are beautiful and delicate. So, after a million heartfelt thank you’s, I turned to my mom and said, “You know we’ll use these, right? We won’t just put them on display.” We make it a habit to drink out of pretty teacups nearly every day and have for over 20 years so there is no way these will sit on a shelf somewhere.

Why am I telling you this? Because I see that happening with women’s clothes and accessories all the time. Their prized possessions sit in a box or are sequestered in the back of the closet for years (and sometimes decades) never seeing the light of day.

Let’s talk about this a bit, okay? Do you have items that you are “saving” because they have sentimental value, are “too pretty to wear,” are timeless, or cost a lot of money? I know this is a sticky conversation because it’s so personal and these items hold such a prized place in our hearts or memories.

Let me share my experience with you on this topic and see if this helps you to think about it differently. Here are 3 reasons to stop saving those items and use them now:

1. The Big What If… The biggest fear people have around using something they cherish (or simply delight in) is that they might ruin it. So, here’s the truth: yes, you might ruin it. We know that there is a definite possibility that we could break one of the teacups when we use them. Nine times out of ten (maybe 9.99 times out of 10!) this won’t happen. As I mentioned, we’ve been using these delicate teacups for 20 years and haven’t broken a single one yet (and, horrors of all horrors, we even put them in the dishwasher!).

But, we do get to delight in using them every day and nothing can take away our memories of how they feel, how beautiful they look on the table and how much we enjoy drinking from them. Somehow having them sit in a box somewhere or getting dusty on a shelf just doesn’t hold the same magic.

(Sure, some things are not wearable and are treasured memories from a special person in your life. I am not talking about delicate slips from 1900 or a hand-beaded heirloom evening bag that needs to be preserved properly – although I still believe they should have a place of prominence and distinction. Rather I’m talking about those special items you keep looking at but are afraid to use.)

2. The Myth of Timelessness. Very few (really, very few!) garments are truly timeless. There I said it. Even if you disagree (I’ll talk more in-depth about this another time), there’s a much bigger concern here. In general, you do not need your clothes to last 10 or 15+ years. Clothes are made to be worn and if you like your clothes well enough that’s exactly what you will do – hopefully with enough regularity that they will eventually wear out after having served you well. If, however, you save them for only those special moments…not only do you not get to enjoy them the way you should but you run the risk of finding out they are not as timeless as you thought when you finally get around to wearing them.

3. Nowhere To Wear It. This one is actually the easiest. First of all, it helps you determine if you really love it. If you do, you will be excited by the idea of being able to wear it more often. If you don’t really love it you’ll keep finding a reason not to put it on.

Here’s a little exercise:

• Identify a garment or accessory that you have been saving for one of the reasons listed above.
• When you think about using it, do you get excited? If so, continue on to #3. If not, see if you can figure out why. That will help you determine if you should pack it away or give it away – or maybe it just needs some repair or the right accessory. Whatever information you can glean will help you know what the next step is to take.
• Find a time to wear it –within the next week! Maybe it means making a plan to go out to dinner with your husband when you can wear that pretty dress you’ve been saving (even if it is just to the local eatery). Don’t be surprised, however, if things change. Recently, a client told me that she and her husband had plans to go out to dinner to a simple, casual restaurant close by. She decided she just had to wear a gorgeous dress and amazing necklace we had gotten during our shopping trip. When she came downstairs all dressed, her husband took one look at her and said, “Wow! We’re going to the Four Seasons for dinner instead.”

  Or, perhaps you call your girlfriends and suggest a girls’ night out at your place where everyone wears something she’s been saving. Or, maybe it just means taking a few minutes to switch handbags (in the one you bought 6 months ago but haven’t gotten around to using yet).

As you’re reading this, your mind is probably spinning thinking of all the long forgotten garments or accessories you have tucked away that never see the light of day. This is the perfect opportunity – the new year is fast approaching. Stop saving those items of beauty for a special occasion. In most of our lives, those times just don’t come around often enough, so we have to make them. It can be easier than you think to integrate them into your current wardrobe so you enjoy them (and others get to vicariously through you) through all of the upcoming year and beyond.

As a girl I was mesmerized by the popular television show, “Gilligan’s Island” – for obvious reasons…I loved watching Ginger — “the movie star.” Here she was deserted on an uninhabited island and yet she seemed to have an endless supply of stunning gowns, her hair was always perfectly coiffed, and her makeup was flawless. Her “lounging around the house…um, I mean island” clothes were not what most of us think of as comfy. She always looked glamorous. Silly, yes. Engaging, yes. Realistic, nope!

More recently, I have been watching reruns of the old “Dick Van Dyke Show.” Oh, my goodness…what a different world it was then. Rob and Laura would have their next door neighbors over for dinner, and they’d all be decked out in cocktail dresses and the men in suits! I’m not sure any of them owned a pair of jeans (or dungarees as they were probably referred to then).

Times have certainly changed! I suspect that your “relax around the house” outfit doesn’t resemble the movie star’s clothes or even Laura Petrie’s. I know mine don’t. I’ve lost count of the number of women who tell me theirs consists of old, stained sweatpants or baggy jeans with an oversized T-shirt or layers of ill-fitting polar fleece in unflattering colors, or, some variation thereof. Does any of that ring a bell?

I completely understand, and to be totally honest, I’m always on the lookout for fun, pretty, comfy things I can wear around the house and not feel like a total frump. Because this is such a constant concern for so many women, here are 5 tips to consider for your ‘at home’ wardrobe:

1. Manage the Dirt Factor. So many women say to me, “But I cook, clean, walk the dogs, do some gardening…in my at home clothes so they can’t cost a lot or look too fancy.” Here’s a radical thought… just because something gets dirty does not mean you have to discard it. Sure, you might not want to spend major dollars on something you could drip spaghetti sauce on (that’s also what aprons are for), but it just means you buy clothes that are washable. These T-shirts, for example, come in fun colors, are made of soft cotton and, considering I’ve had some for years, seem to be practically indestructible:
   Plus, they often have sales on them so you can pick up your favorites for less. (Click here for more information).
2. Feeling Yucky Weighs On Your Psyche. Have you ever caught a glimpse of yourself in a mirror at home and thought, “Yikes, I’m so glad no one can see me this way!” Sure, our home should be our sanctuary, but it’s also a place we go to feel happy, supported, relaxed and connected. While you don’t have to wear your fanciest finery (trust me, I don’t!) you do want to feel content in your own skin. (Kudos to those of you who can feel grounded and happy no matter what you are wearing.) For the rest of us, a little extra attention to this part of our lives makes a huge difference.
3. Fashion Rules Still Apply. Okay, before you get mad at me, hear me out. The fashion rules I’m talking about are personal to you:
   • Choose colors that flatter you.
   • Fit is still important. (You might think I’m crazy but when I bought a zip-up polar fleece jacket in a gorgeous teal color from LL Bean, it was way too big (and they didn’t have a smaller size). So, I took it to my tailor and had it taken in on the sides and the sleeves taken in, too. Yup, I never wore this outside the house but I needed to feel good in it. And, I wore it so much I definitely got my money’s worth from it.)
   • Dress for your personality –let that special inner you shine through even in fun, comfy, cozy clothes. It doesn’t have to be an either/or situation.
4. Try Something New. It is SO easy to get set in our ways about what feels good and what doesn’t. If you have been wearing the same “at home” outfit for what seems like forever, then maybe it’s time to explore new options. You just might be surprised! For instance, I have recently discovered fleece-lined leggings (click here for more information):
   
   They are totally amazing! No binding at the waist (a pet peeve of mine) and they are soft, sleek and warm. I’ve recently even found them in dark brown at a store up the street from me (let me know if you want the name). I pair them with this fun top (in brown)
   
   and it’s super cozy, sleek and casual. (Click here for more information)
5. What You Wear At Home Stays At Home. My stay-at-home clothes are just that. I’m not embarrassed if friends come over or I will run to the mailbox or shovel snow, but they are not what I wear when I’m out and about.

Remember, this is not about being a “fashion plate” (or movie star) at home, and it’s really not so much about fashion rules. It’s about what makes you feel happy. I have learned over the years that so many women feel drab, frumpy or messy at home and wish they had a “uniform” to wear about the house that they feel good in but that doesn’t require them to sacrifice comfort. It’s very doable. It just takes a bit of focus and intention. Use these tips above to help you identify what works for you and most of fall, have fun!

Important: Even when no one else will see you don’t settle for something that feels “not horrible” – a common sentiment I hear from my clients. Allow your inner beauty to resonate in your cozy clothes as much as in your out and about wardrobe, and you won’t believe how delicious that feels!

Jackets are arguably one of the most underrated garments in our wardrobe. What’s your jacket story? Do you wear them? Do you have some but they just hang in your closet? Do you only wear them to work but can’t imagine that you’d want to wear one casually? Do you love them…hate them…aren’t sure?

I regularly hear all kinds of reasons why someone doesn’t wear one. These reasons often include one of these:

• “Every jacket I’ve ever tried feels stiff and uncomfortable.”
• “Blazers are boring and old-fashioned.”
• “Jackets just seem too formal. Where I work everyone is casual.”

I have to share that I am a huge (yes, huge) fan of jackets personally. For those of you on the fence or just curious about my fascination with this particular garment, I’d like to share why jackets are so fabulous!

1. They Hide a Multitude Of Sins (as my mom would say). Isn’t this just the best reason! Whatever is going on under a jacket is a mystery to everyone but you. Lumps, bumps, extra tummy, fuller hips, wiggly arms…no one else can see it.

2. They Keep You Warm. This is a key component for me because I’m always cold. A jacket adds warmth without feeling like I’m the abominable snowman (like I sometimes feel in bulky sweaters). And, for someone who runs hot and cold or goes from inside to outside a lot, a jacket is a must because it allows you to easily adjust to the temperature changes.

3. They Add an Extra Ounce of Authority. Do you work in a male dominated field or one where you are in a managerial or supervisory role? Wearing a jackets adds visual authority. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about authority as a way of being intimidating or an abuse of power. It’s more about lending an air of self-confidence so you hold your head higher. It can add structure to an outfit and a feeling of purposefulness.

4. They Add Visual Interest to an Outfit. Want to add spice to a simple blouse and pair of pants? Adding a fabulous jacket is one way of bringing a bit more personality and flair to the outfit. It doesn’t have to be over the top – again, it’s all about expressing who you are and what makes you happy.

5. They Create Illusion. Have you ever put on a top and pants and thought…yikes, all I see is my belly. Or, perhaps you notice that you have a straight figure (no noticeable waist definition). Maybe your shoulders are a bit narrow and sloped so all you see are your hips. Whatever the situation, a jacket is a miracle-worker. There are days when I feel like I have all three of those situations going on on my body at once! A jacket can create curve where I want it and boost my shoulders when I need it. Whew! What a perfect garment.

Here’s a special fashion tip: If you do not have well-defined waist, here’s a little trick that can give you the waist you never had (or lost) – especially for those of you who have been avoiding belts. Wear a jacket and then belt the top underneath so all you see (when the jacket is unbuttoned) is the belt buckle and a little bit of the belt on either side. No one else can tell if your waist is big, little, thick or thin. They just know you have one because the belt gives the illusion of a waist. It’s like magic!

Jackets do not have to be ho-hum or stiff. These days they come in all fabrics and designs, and range from casual to trendy and from sophisticated to outrageous. You get to choose the right flavor for your personality and the occasion. Plus, so many of them now come with stretch in them that it’s almost impossible not to be comfy!

Here are a few ideas – just know that the possibilities are endless:

Want a little drama?

Click here for more information.

This one has a feminine feel, is longer and is kind of a cross between a jacket and a sweater:

Click here for more information.

How about a fun and flirty but casual jacket:

Click here for more information.

These are just a few ideas to help you think beyond the traditional blazer to jackets that work for different aspects of your life. There is something out there for everyone. Just keep in mind your coloring, body shape, lifestyle and personality and have fun picking and choosing.

Do you have a favorite jacket? Please feel free to share with us in the comments section.