It’s that time of year again…the holidays!  Whether you love them or wish you could sleep through the next 6 weeks doesn’t change the fact that they are fast approaching.

Forget the parties, forget the dress up, fancy stuff – there’s already a lot of talk out there about that.  I’d like to talk about how to dress for a cozy gathering of family or friends that is holiday-driven but still casual and fun.  How do you find your holiday glam when your spirit says bah-humbug?

Finding that sweet spot where you look like yourself, feel comfortable and also make it feel special is part of what celebrating is all about.  So many times I hear from women that they get their children all gussied up or they put their heart and soul into the delicious food they’ll prepare but when the time comes to peek in their closets and get dressed, they sigh a long deep sigh of resignation…there’s nothing there that makes them feel as special as they want to.  Then, in a last ditch effort to feel the holiday spirit they grab the same old red sweater with jeans (or the equivalent) and run out the door.

Does that sound even a teensy weensy bit familiar?

I’ve been speaking with a lot of women this past week about their wardrobes and the common theme is “ease.”  Ahhhh, doesn’t the idea of a personal style that allows for ease and grace just make you feel so good? Okay…okay, I know, reality then sets in as you slam your closet door on a wardrobe that seems to contain very little that resembles ease.

I don’t know about you, but that sure sounds good to me – a little more ease and flow is good for everyone.  And, bringing that concept into your wardrobe is just one way to make the holidays a bit more joyful and fun, don’t you think?

What would that look like…for you?

Sure, creating a full wardrobe that makes your heart sing is a fabulous concept and one that is definitely worth focusing on.  But right here and now when the holidays are right around the corner and you just want to feel good now, let’s look at some possibilities.

Here are 3 different options for a lovely, relaxed holiday gathering.  Of course, it’s important to put your own signature on whatever you wear but maybe this will inspire you.

1. Want cozy and feminine? How about a beautiful sweater dress.  And (here’s a great idea), how about if it is in a color other than black!  Try this Cowl Neck Dress (#1 pictured at the right): Click here for more informatiom. Although I absolutely do not recommend those shoes with the dress – even on her long, thin legs they look heavy and clunky!  If you really want to feel cozy, how about black tights and sleek knee high boots?  Add a touch of glam with some fun, sparkly earrings like these Amethyst Purple earrings (#2 pictured at the right): Click here for more information.

2. How about comfy and chic? Yes, it took me a while to embrace (again!) the whole concept of leggings but I have and I love it.  I wear ones that resemble very skinny, stretchy pants so they have a little more body to them than regular leggings and don’t feel so thin and exposed.  And, I always wear something long enough.  Try your favorite pair of leggings with fabulous boots and this sweater over a long sleeve top (that comes down at least crotch length).  Belt the underneath top with one of these fabulous belts (there are some really fun options for belts out there so choose one that speaks to your personality) and let the vest hang loosely (#3 pictured at the right). Click here for more information.

Belts:

The first belt is SO different and totally fun (obviously not for everyone but it’s sparkly and festive) (#4 pictured at the right): Click here for more information.

Stretchy belts are super comfortable and this one, although it has sparkle, is actually somewhat understated.  This adds some glam without being over the top (#5 pictured at the right):  Click here for more information.

This belt is much more casual and is different from the typical belt style we see out there (#6 pictured at the right): Click here for more information.

Don’t like belts?  Try letting the top flow loosely under the vest and wear a long necklace like this one (#7 pictured at the right): Click here for more information.

3.  Cozy, Casual Comfort. If jeans are your thing, step it up by wearing a dark wash jean that fits you beautifully (stretch is the key component) accompanied by your favorite sweater and add a fun faux fur scarf in a delicious color like black currant (#7 pictured at the right): Click here for more information or this fabulous red scrunchy scarf (#8 pictured at the right): Click here for more information. Talk about cozy and festive!

Need help tying a scarf?  Watch my scarf tying video to learn to tie it in a fun new way: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYxVGkwB3TM

Whatever your look, be sure you choose it with intention and are not scrambling at the last minute to find something “acceptable” to wear.  This is a great opportunity to be you in a comfortable setting with people you love – so with a little advanced planning you can relax, enjoy, have fun and look great!

Dear Designers:

Could I talk frankly with you for just a minute?  Like some of you, I have been in the fashion industry for a long time (going on 25 years!) and I love it.  There is, however, one critical area where our attention diverges.  While most of the fashion world is focused on very young, tall and thin women, my clients tend mostly to represent the over 40 woman.  As a result (and because I fall into this category as well), I know what she likes to wear.

Perhaps I could provide some insights to help you create your collection for next season?   I know that your heart is in the right place and you want women to look and feel beautiful but, oh dear, have you tried your designs on women over 40 who might have a few extra pounds floating around here or there and are probably more often closer to 5’4” than 5’9”?

Your goal, I’m certain, is to sell all your designs and not have them end up on the end-of-season sales rack or a consignment store with the tags still on them.  The problem is that there is a slight (and sometimes not so slight) disconnect between what we see in the stores and what is actually wearable by anyone with a little maturity.

I know you didn’t ask me but I also know from watching ‘Project Runway’ that you encourage constructive criticism, so I hope you will take this all in the kind and supportive manner in which it is given.

First of all, what I love about you:

• Thank you for making your designs for plus size and petite women. While some stores have misguidedly eliminated these departments, for those who still support them, it is wonderful to see beautiful garments for women who don’t wear the traditional sizes 2-14.
• Thank you for giving us a variety of skirt lengths, shoes with heels of varying heights and widths, and every imaginable boot style! There is something for everyone and that allows women to express their personality with comfort.
• The new version of the cowl neckline is great – very flattering and stays in place better so we don’t have to fuss with it like we did back in the 1980’s.  Definitely new and improved!
• Thank you for bringing scarves back. It’s amazing how one piece of fabric can add so much beauty, warmth and personality!

I would also like to share a few thoughts of things that women need that seem to be missing from the choices of late:

• Fabrics With Substance. This is probably the most important request of all.  That paper thin, stretchy fabric that so many shell/tank tops and t-shirts are made out of has got to go away…soon!  It is unflattering on 90% of the women who wear it (even young women), because it shows every little lump and bump even on women size 2!  It is so frustrating to find something in the perfect style and color to complete an outfit only to find out that the fabric is dreadful (and that is not an overstatement).
• Bring Brown Back. You promised!  I heard that brown was going to be a staple again this Fall but it’s not really in the stores yet.  Yes, there is some but it’s a warm chocolaty brown that only looks good on some women (like redheads, for instance).  We need more of the basic dark, dark brown that works on so many people.  (Oh, and in case you are wondering…no, black does not look good on everyone…and this becomes even more obvious once we get past of the age of 40.)
• More Jackets…Please. It makes getting dressed a little frustrating when you hyper-focus on one particular style to the exclusion of all else.  Case in point…this season’s long cardigans.  They are a great addition but do we really need 40 million of them (only a slight exaggeration, I think!).  What happens is that there’s no room left for interesting jackets for women who enjoy wearing them or need to dress professionally for work.  (And, please…we don’t need any more black or gray jackets unless, perhaps, they have super interesting details but even then there are thousands of other colors to consider!  Let’s take a risk and add some beautiful colors.  I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised).
• Taking Dresses to the Next Level. Yay for dresses with sleeves.  You have no idea how exciting this is after all these years to be able to buy a dress with sleeves.  Believe me, when it’s literally freezing outside, a sleeveless dress just doesn’t cut it.  So, two quick things about dresses.
  • When you do make sleeveless ones (there are still plenty of them out there), could you please make some short cardigan sweaters in pretty colors (enough with the black already!) to go over them.  Sure, the 20-something crowd can look trendy and cool in a long cardigan over a dress but for the rest of us, we just look and feel frumpy!
  • And, lastly, not every woman wants to (or can) wear a dress that is body hugging.  Many who have curvy hips and thighs look better with a slight A-line (no gathers at the waist, please).  They were here in abundance a season or two ago, and we loved them.  Pretty please, could we have more of these again?

These are just a few of our major requests for now.  I want to thank you in advance for considering these ideas.  If you think I am overstating this, please know that 90% of the women who get in touch with me say they can’t find anything they like out there to wear.  Sure, sometimes it’s because they need some expert guidance but sometimes it’s because the choices are limited.  I just know that together that we can remedy this, and women over 40 everywhere will thank you!

Thank you again.  Feel free to get in touch with me anytime!

With beauty, style & grace,
Ginger

This summer I was shopping at Nordstrom Rack and came across an Alberto Makali top that caught my eye. The colors were beautiful and the design was sparkly, ethereal and just plain pretty! But I hesitated…just for a split second, but I made note of the hesitation.

My momentary uncertainty intrigued me. What was keeping me from running right into the dressing room to try it on (although I did ultimately do that)? Was I limiting my options or was it really not me?

Have you done the same thing? Have you admired something or been even mildly captivated by something but just walked on by – determining from past experience or some nebulous fashion rules you think you remember hearing somewhere that it isn’t right: women over 40 shouldn’t wear it, horizontal stripes are a no-no, or anyone with hips needs to stay way far away from that style… (you get the idea)?

Here’s something to ponder: There’s a fine line between “knowing” yourself (for instance, feeling genuinely confident that harem pants are not for you) and ‘limiting’ yourself, and your style when it’s not necessary.

Many women pigeon hole themselves into a prescribed way of dressing and thereby limit their options and often squelch their sense of delight. Their wardrobe becomes functional and one-dimensional — devoid of any personal style and their boredom level escalates.

What is at the root of a one-dimensional wardrobe?

• For some it is a fear of stepping out and being noticed as opposed to blending in or trying to disappear.
• Some worry they will make a fashion mistake and look silly. It’s understandable that someone would rather look and feel boring than silly, but it is rare that most women will push the envelope to the point of looking silly. Their worry is generally unnecessary. Unfortunately, anything outside the norm of what they usually wear feels so foreign that they lose perspective on whether it’s trendy, fashionable, cutting edge or none of the above. As a result, tried and true (or not so true but at least safe) wins out.
• And some women are so bound and determined to “find their style” that they hyper focus on certain designs to the exclusion of all else – “knowing” that they can’t wear those things – although not always knowing where that knowing came from (and it has often been received second or third hand at best).
• Still others try really hard but can’t quite seem to figure out how to make it all work and give up from sheer overwhelm and frustration.

I hear this from women all the time. “I can’t wear that,” or, “That doesn’t work on my body,” or, “I’ve tried that before, and it just doesn’t look good.”

Sure, sometimes it’s true but honestly, more often than not it is a self-imposed fashion rule. And, most fashion rules have an exception from time to time.

The next step is: How do you move into a wardrobe that has more personality and dimension without it feeling overwhelming or making lots of expensive mistakes?

Let me go back to the Alberto Makali top I eyed. I was intrigued enough to try it on. Sure, in general I am not the bohemian type but I also know that it’s all about how you interpret any given style, bohemian included.

The top is beautiful! I did buy it.

• It fit me perfectly.
• The colors are beautiful and great on me.
• The top has that ethereal, slightly bohemian quality but in an exquisite, elegantly beautiful way.
• I wear it with more structured pants to keep me from feeling swallowed up by too much airy fabric.
• I wear it when my mood (and the temperature) is more relaxed, sultry and quiet.
• And, I got it at Nordstrom Rack so if I had made a mistake (better to make an occasional mistake than feel restricted by too many self-imposed rules), it would not have been an expensive one.

How can you translate this experience for yourself?

• Pay attention to what catches your eye. It never hurts to try something on. The worst case scenario is that it looks terrible or doesn’t fit right (and can’t be tailored) and you take it off and put it back on the rack. No harm done and often something valuable learned.
• Complete the outfit before you decide. Tossing something on with a pair of sweat pants or sneakers and a skirt will not help you visualize (unless you’re very good at it!) whether the garment has potential. Try to complete the outfit as closely as possible in the dressing room to give you as much of an idea of how it will look finished as possible.
• Listen to your heart and be practical all at the same time. Always imagine where you’ll wear the garment and how it will fit into your wardrobe and lifestyle. AND, if it is something you absolutely love, be adventurous. Hey, although mostly I wear the Alberto Makali top casually and socially, I might choose to wear it to a picnic or baseball game (not that I went to either this summer) if I felt inspired to and it made me feel good – who says I can’t!

Each of us has different parts to our personalities and part of the fun of getting dressed is not only liking the way we look (of course) but also expressing each part of our personality that desires to be expressed in a heart-felt, authentic way. Sure, there are parameters determined by your body type, your age (sometimes), and the particular occasion, but you get to put the spin on how you express your own individuality. Don’t let yourself get stuck in a rut or a hard and fast prescribed way of dressing. Exploring is part of what keeps it all interesting and fun!

The Fall shopping season is my favorite.  The colors are beautiful and everything looks so cozy.  For the most part, I have to say that this season is shaping up nicely (of course, it is still early but I’m hopeful it will stay that way and get even better as the months pass).

Brown is back (a huge yay!) – although it is still only dribbling into the stores but that should change as the weeks pass.  Stacked heels are giving women the lift without the wobbly feeling.  And, there’s more!

That’s what this special seasonal update is all about.  I’ll share with you what I love and what I don’t in my Fall 2011 “Bewitched, Bothered & Bewildered” Fashion report.  Enjoy!

Bewitched

Color: Bright, bold and rich colors are in.  It’s a delicious time of year!  Orange (we’ll come back to this), cobalt blue, red (yes, it’s a tribute to vampires and blood), magenta, Forest colors (sage, hunter, jade, teal).  Brown is back…thankfully!  And, camel takes on more of a rust tone.

Let’s talk about red for a minute.  They are touting it everywhere as THE color of the season, but I just spent an entire day in Lord & Taylor in New York City with a client who really wanted to wear red and could we find any at all?  Nope!  Not one piece.  So, perhaps it is planning to be fashionably late but don’t get too excited about it yet.

All of this is good except the focus on orange (it’s not a great color for a lot of people although those of us who can wear it are happy!) and the camel moving closer to rust is not fabulous.  Again, those with super duper warm tones in their skin will be ecstatic.  Everyone else will have to admire it from afar!

Dresses & Skirts: There is a lot going on here – every imaginable length is in.  Work dresses (with sleeves…hallelujah!) are hot.  Midi’s (that hit mid-calf) are the newest (albeit tricky) addition.  If it hits you at the widest part of your calf it will make your legs look heavy, so be careful.  Maxi dresses are all the rage but they can overwhelm you in a heartbeat and can look a little goth.  Go ahead and try them but don’t feel badly about leaving them on the rack.

Stacked Heels (including loafers): This trend will make many women’s hearts sing.  What’s most lovely about this is that every heel width is still available so for those for whom stacked heels are too clunky, you can still find slimmer heels, wedges and flats.   For those who have been longing to wear heels but don’t like teetering on stilts, these will be a blessing.  The loafer look (some are even platforms!) could be a bit over the top but some will embrace it and carry it off just great.  It can be a fun look with pants.

Shimmer for Day: One of my favorites!  When the weather gets cold and dreary, wearing something with a little shimmer or sparkle can be a great pick-me-up.  Here’s a great example to wear under a casual sweater or a jacket: http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/lauren-by-ralph-lauren-sleeveless-metallic-jersey-top/3191392?origin=keywordsearch&resultback=5934

Plaid: Once again, plaid is big for Fall.  Like most prints, a little goes a long way so if you like it wear it sparingly and be sure the basic colors in it look good on you.  If you just want to experiment, a scarf is a great way to add a touch of it without going overboard: http://www.zappos.com/echo-design-embroidered-plaid-olive

Capes: Capes are pretty but often fairly impractical – at least here in the northeast where there are usually about 10 days when the weather is just right for you to wear them.  But, if you like that Jane Eyre kind of feeling, have fun with it.  Here’s a beautiful short cape (that is also cruelty-free!): http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/via-spiga-asymmetrical-cape/3176405?origin=related-3176405-60133843-0-1-1

Bothered

Bright Pants: Oh, dear, I had a little 1980’s déjà vu.  Bright red jeans are everywhere.  With rare exceptions (most of which are on the very young) they are tricky.  You really have to know what you are doing and have the personality to pull it off.  Eager to try them?  Get one pair and see what you think (and if you wear them or they sit in your closet looking tempting but never actually make it on your body!).  If you aren’t sure, I’d say skip it.

Feathers in your hair: This is a hugely cruel new fashion trend.  Those long feather extensions sported by celebrities like Mylie Cyrus and Hillary Duff come from live roosters.  They are not fake.  It is bad enough that the roosters are raised so their feathers can be used as fishing lures in fly-fishing but to be a fashion trend has caused the demand to escalate and more roosters are suffering.  Please say no to such a cruel and unnecessary trend. Click here to read more.

Choker Necklaces: These remind me of a prom outfit gone wrong.  Occasionally they can look sweet but mostly not.  And, if you have any softness in the neck area, they will only draw attention to it.  Not to mention that the proportions are totally unbalanced.   There are plenty of other beautiful necklace trends and lengths to experiment with (including long pendants).  I suggest leaving this one alone.

Silky pants: With rare exceptions these will look like you are wearing your pajamas.  They are great for lounging around the house or for celebrities who are super trendy, but otherwise save your money for a style more lasting and flattering.

Sky High Platforms: So what’s up (so to speak) with this crazy trend.  Women are falling (yes, they are!) and teetering unattractively on platforms so high that we fear for their lives.  It is hard to walk gracefully in a shoe like this!  Yes, I think platforms are great fun but when women’s lives (and ankles) are at risk or they walk funny, then what’s the point?

Bewildered

Beehive Hairdo: I have often wondered if this style would ever make a comeback.  Well, it has and not only that but it has incorporated a twist that makes it even a little more eeeuw! – Imagine a “grunge beehive” and the image that brings up.  I’m sure a beehive hairdo can be done tastefully especially if it’s just for an evening out (although I still can’t imagine it’s good for your hair!) but when you add the grunge factor I think all hope is lost.

Mustard Hues: I thought yellow was challenging when that was all the rage for a few seasons but now they are taking it one step further from wearability – mustard!  Sure, there are a few people who look good in it but whereas at least bright yellow looks lively and fun, mustard just looks blah and a tad sickly on someone whose skin tone can’t handle it.  Unless you’re sure, skip it!

The Denim Shirt: Denim never seems to go out of style and that’s fine.  Now that we have a little stretch in denim I have my fair share.  But, when it comes to jean shirts and dresses, beware.  Most of them are made from a soft, lighter colored denim.  Unless you are sure this is a great color for you, I would walk on by.  Also, in most cases, it has a super casual, slightly rustic feel to it, so if that doesn’t fit with who you are or how you want to express your style, again, leave it on the racks.

The shopping season is in full swing and there is a lot to celebrate out there, and, as always, the styles will shift and evolve as the season moves along. Right now, for instance, there are not many jackets for women to wear to work (although there are plenty of suits), while there are lots of long cardigan sweaters.  They can be great for business casual but it’s nice to have the option of a fabulous jacket or two…I suspect we’ll see more of those in the next month.

Have fun exploring.  You’ll see lace, peplums and polka dots throughout the season as well – all fun trends for the right person.  If shopping sometimes feels overwhelming, take this guide with you for a little moral support!

Plan to shop now and again in October, and you’ll round out your wardrobe for the approaching winter.  Mostly, have fun and listen to your inner voice as it guides you to styles that look and feel fabulous!

What did you learn about yourself from part 1 where we discussed how living with a wardrobe you don’t love undermines your spirit, sacrifices your dreams and wastes your time? What are your hidden costs of having an uninspired wardrobe?

Keep those notes handy because now we are going to talk about how you start to create a wardrobe and personal style you love. (If you missed Part 1, here’s the link)

The truth is that this is a journey…a life-long experience. It isn’t something you do once and then it’s done forever. Yes, creating a personal style you love means paying attention, but first and foremost it means making some changes if you don’t already have a wardrobe you adore. The only way you lose is if you give up!

So, here are 3 steps to help you make changes now:

1. Organize your existing wardrobe. Okay, before you panic and say that’s worse than shopping, I’m here to help. My new FREE e-course (which you can get by subscribing to my Nurturing Beauty Publication) is now available and will take you step by step (baby steps, really!) through this cleansing and uplifting (yes, it will be uplifting) journey. Please promise you won’t skip this step before going on to the next one. This step is first for a reason. Trying to create a personal style you love while your closet is filled with stuff that doesn’t serve you will only lead to frustration and discouragement – I’ve seen it happen many times (and have done it myself!).
2. Identify one element missing from your wardrobe. Please resist the temptation to make a list the size of the phone book of things that are missing from your wardrobe. That will only overwhelm you and keep you from moving forward. Choose just one for now.
   • Let’s say it’s shoes. I know there’s a good chance there are lots of reasons you don’t have the shoes you need (wide feet, can’t wear heels, bunions, long, narrow feet, wear orthotics, etc.). Don’t go there. Focus on what you do want, e.g., pretty basic shoes to go with pants, a charming pair of shoes to go with a skirt…or whatever will make you happy). Then…
   • People watch. See what shoes other women are wearing. Look for ones you like that you think might fit your requirements. (Don’t take time to bemoan about what won’t work for you. Keep your focus on what you do want.) When you see someone wearing a pair of shoes you like, stop her. Tell her you love her shoes and was wondering where she got them. I bet she’ll be delighted you noticed and will be happy to share.
   • Shop somewhere new. So many people get stuck shopping at the same place over and over. If you don’t like the results, it’s time to find some new places to shop. Even if you think you’ve tried everywhere, keep looking. There are always new places popping up and stores that seem to be the world’s best-kept secrets. If you are open to finding them they will appear. I’ve seen it happen over and over.(Do the same thing if your critical need is a new haircut, a dress for a wedding, bathing suit or even basic black pants – whatever your critical need is. There’s always an answer.)
3. Keep it positive. If you go shopping with the attitude that there are no shoes out there that fit you…that your feet are impossible and everything hurts…all the good shoes are too expensive…guess what you’ll find! Yup, you guessed it – you’ll get exactly what you expect. Start to change all that now (and don’t beat yourself up if you fall back into old habits or don’t at first succeed…just keep going).If your experience has been one way for a long time, just congratulate yourself on every little success (no matter how small) along the way. It will pay off in the end. So, picture yourself wearing the most beautiful pair of shoes (don’t get hung up on the specifics – go with the feeling), or perfectly fitting black pants or whatever you are looking. Keep this picture and feeling front and center as you shop.

Bonus: Only buy and wear something if you love it and think it is beautiful. There are no exceptions. This is your opportunity to bring beauty back (if it has been missing) to your wardrobe and style.

Be diligent in following these steps, and you will see a difference.

Little successes add up to big successes. Keep this concept in mind when you are feeling frustrated. Whatever you do, don’t give up! Support is always available.

This is a very important topic, and I recommend highly that you go back and read this more than once. We all need little reminders that we can have what we want. By understanding that you deserve it and by taking these baby steps, I promise you can feel great about the way you look.

If having a wardrobe and personal style you love seems elusive at best and time consuming and frustrating at worst, use these steps to help keep you focused and motivated, and celebrate each little success along the way!

“I don’t have time to go shopping and put together a wardrobe.”  I hear this all the time!

Often, what she is really (usually) saying is, “I don’t have time to walk around the mall or a store futilely trying things on that look terrible or don’t fit and then leave the store empty handed and miserable.”

Yikes!  Who would want to set aside any time for that kind of punishment?

Yes, we all have super busy schedules often balancing work, family, a few cats/dogs, school, friends…and a host of other responsibilities (take your pick) pulling us in a million different directions.

True, most of us have enough on our plates without adding one more thing – especially when that one thing has historically been unpleasant and often unproductive.  Better just to make do, tuck it under the rug and manage as best you can.  Sure, this will work for a while, but at what cost?

It is human nature to prefer to set aside time to do something we enjoy (or that is urgent) than to do something we dislike.  Why do you think messy basements stay messy, writing a paper for a class we don’t like gets put off to the last minute, or cleaning the refrigerator will not take precedence over taking our children to soccer practice or having tea with a good friend.

There are two very important things to consider here:

1.    Living with a wardrobe you don’t love has substantial hidden costs.

2.    Creating a personal style you love cannot only be fun but can take much less time than you think. (The good news is that when you are efficient and productive you can feel like the time is well spent considering the amount of pleasure the results will give you.  Of course, I understand that what feels challenging is the “efficient and productive” part!)

Let’s look, for a minute, at the hidden costs.  They add up over time and take their toll.

When you live with a wardrobe you don’t love, it:

• Undermines your spirit. Tolerating an uninspiring wardrobe takes a toll on your psyche.  You get dressed every morning and sometimes more than once a day if you have another engagement that day.  When you start your day off feeling frustrated, annoyed, hopeless or overwhelmed this feeling weighs on your psyche.  When you stand in front of your closet for an hour trying unsuccessfully to create an outfit (any outfit!) you can wear to __________, it zaps your energy. Who wants that?
• Sacrifices your dreams. Everyone wants to feel good about themselves every time they get dressed.  Some women have had that and lost it over time due to their body changing, lifestyle changes or just general aging (wondering what’s age appropriate, body has shifted a little, etc.) and others never had it to begin with.  In either case, it’s a dream lost…perhaps just buried deeply but it feels lost forever.
• Wastes your time. When your wardrobe and style aren’t working for you then a significant amount of time is used up trying to make things work when what you really long for is to get dressed effortlessly and, dare I say it, with joy!

Uninspired wardrobes happen.  It has nothing to do with your age, weight, profession, where you live or your financial situation. A frustrating wardrobe is an equal opportunity annoyance!

What Can You Do?

• Take a few minutes to jot down what having an uninspired wardrobe is “costing” you (refer to the list above and be creative…add your own).  Just let it flow.  As you write and reflect you are certain to uncover hidden costs and frustrations you didn’t realize were bugging you so much!  (We can all be very good at burying those — at least temporarily.)
• Keep those notes handy and add to them as things occur to you.

Then, stay tuned for the next installment and some fashion tips that offer some relief!

For now, keep smiling and give yourself enormous credit for looking at this deeply.  That’s the very first step (so many women just live with the frustration indefinitely), and you are on your way!

Are you confused? Do you head into a store all hopeful and happy and leave disgruntled and crabby? Some of you tell me that shopping has gotten to the point where you walk into the store filled with dread and a certainty you won’t find anything – that’s how often you’ve been disappointed.

Knowing what to buy and what looks good can feel tricky. I regularly get questions about particular styles and whether they are suited to someone over 40…and in some cases, anyone at all regardless of her age.

So, I thought we’d have a little fun with it. Let’s talk about 5 fashion or makeup styles that are questionable at best and are, in some cases, absolute no-no’s, especially for women over 40(ish).

1. Puffy Short Sleeves. We are not little girls anymore, and puffy sleeves have a tendency to infantilize grown women. Sure, it can depend on the degree of “puff” and the feeling of the rest of the outfit, but if you put something on and the first thing you see when you look in the mirror is a young girl staring back at you, it’s probably best to leave it to the teenagers. If it is combined with a babydoll style top, don’t even try it on.

2. Too Tight Tops. Not too long ago my partner and I were having lunch in our favorite restaurant and a group of women walked in – two young women and a third woman who we presumed to be their mother. The mother was wearing a white spandex, low cut top. It left absolutely nothing to the imagination (especially from behind) and was unflattering on too many levels to count. I felt sad for her because instead of making her look younger it made her look older.

Yes, the style these days is to wear everything super tight, and in some cases it can have a slimming effect (if the fabric has enough body to hold you in). But, more often than not the opposite is true. Combine that with the fact that the designers today (especially in the summer) have a tendency to make tops out of paper thin fabrics that forgive absolutely nothing and reveal everything. Whether or not you find it attractive, the one certainty is that it is distracting.

Always be sure the fit of your garments skims your body and the fabric glides rather than clings.

3. Too Short Pants. Pants that end at the ankle are universally unflattering. They will always make your legs look shorter and never hit you at a place that balances your body. Mostly, they just look like you washed your pants and they shrank but you didn’t notice.

4. Heavy Eyeliner. Many women get stuck in a makeup rut wearing what they’ve always worn because it used to work. The problem is that what was fun and trendy when we were younger can look heavy and overwhelming when we are a tad older. So many women have come to me wearing a thick pencil or liquid eyeliner that probably was chic when they were 20 but now is distracting and just too much on their eyes. We see the eyeliner first and foremost and never get to notice the natural beauty of their eye color.

If this sounds familiar, switch for 10 days to using a powder liner on your upper lashline. Use a small liner brush and smudge it right between the lashes. Use a very dark brown, charcoal or even black. This look has a lot of impact without looking overwhelming.

Wearing eye makeup in a new way can be one of the hardest things for a woman to get used to. It is true that when we’ve seen ourselves the same way for many years, we almost don’t recognize our faces when the makeup changes. Even seemingly subtle changes have a big impact, which is why I suggest wearing your new look for 10 days before you decide (plus it can take you a little while to feel comfortable with a new technique).

5. Unnatural Lip Line. As we get older our lips get thinner. This is bad news for those of us who naturally have thinner lips. Knowing how to plump them up a bit without using injectibles is tricky. I’ve noticed women lining outside their natural lipliner with a lip pencil or wearing their lipstick slightly outside the natural line. Please don’t. Mostly it makes you look a bit like Goldie Hawn in “First Wives Club” and looks simply curious at best.

I understand this issue since I have a naturally thin upper lip. I use a very natural colored dry (not creamy) lip pencil to line just at the upper edge of my natural line. The color looks like my natural lips and that’s about as much as I can push it without it looking kind of scary! In case you’re interested, this is the lip liner I use: BWC Pinky Brown Lip Liner http://www.totalimageconsultants.com/makeup.shtml#lips The dryness of the pencil helps keep lipstick from bleeding.

And, when it comes to choosing a lipstick color, keep it in the light or medium range – never dark. And, smile a lot!

I want to be sure to acknowledge that fashion is not an exact science. I’ll be the first to say that. You will definitely find exceptions to every rule, and I am definitely one for trying new things and exploring new styles. That said, the ones I shared above are fashions that unless you are absolutely, positively sure you can pull them off, let someone else experiment with them. I promise that there are so many other beautiful styles out there that it’s really not necessary to try to “make” something work. If you have to try that hard it generally isn’t worth it, and you won’t miss anything by leaving it out.

Are you a woman over 40 who has your own list of questionable styles? Please share!

I don’t know about you but in New England we went from winter to summer overnight. One day it was 49 degrees and drizzling and the next it was 85, sunny and humid. I hate it when that happens. There’s a whole section of my closet waiting to be worn!

Of course, wait 5 minutes and it could all change again. I keep hoping we’ll have a peek of spring sometime in the next month before we go to real true summer. But, that’s the beauty of New England…you just never know.

When the weather changes so dramatically one of two things happens:

• You’re so excited that warm weather has finally arrived that you throw caution to the wind and shed clothing with abandon.
• You were freezing one minute and now you’re hot and you stare miserably and hopelessly into your closet trying to figure out how to adapt.

So, let’s back up. While the first scenario might be more fun than the second (at least in the short term), chances are good that after a while you’ll think…Yikes…I’m feeling cooler but I’m not sure this is the best look for me. Sometimes this leads to a fun shopping session and sometimes it leads to the second scenario above!

Before you get stuck…

Let me share some tips for dressing well, comfortably, and authentically for the summer season (and for those of you who are experiencing winter right now, save this, and it will come in handy in a few more months!):

• Be prepared. While about mid-February we think spring will never come, it always does. And, often it seems to catch us by surprise. There are several reasons that being prepared makes a difference.
  • You’ll have more choices. I agree that the retail shopping schedule is nutty (it’s hard to think about buying sleeveless tops when the temperature outside is hovering around freezing, but you must). If you wait until the weather warms up and you realize you need things, it could be too late. Yes, the stores are already going into sale mode and it’s barely June!
  • It will save your sanity. If you have ever tried to put together a seasonal wardrobe when we’re in the middle of the season you know that yes, you might luck out and get everything you want (on sale even). But, more often what happens is that by the time you shop there is little left to buy…at least in your size (or so it seems). You find a great skirt but no top to go with it or you have a great pair of capris but all the good shoes in your size are gone. Not only will your sanity suffer but you’ll waste time inside agonizing over how to put together a wardrobe when you could be outside enjoying the warm weather.
  • Is your weather fickle? In New England (and maybe other places as well) you must be prepared for the possibility of either a cool summer or a brutally hot one (like last year). By the time you know for sure what the weather will be Fall clothes are in the stores so be prepared either way or you’ll be out of luck about late July if you guessed wrong!
• Dress to Express. Remember my article on never settling for just ‘good enough?’ This is a season when I see a lot of that going around. Knowing who you are and how to reflect your personality in your wardrobe whatever the season is, is super important. It’s the missing link for many women. Yes, the summer throws in monkey wrenches like sandals, capris and lightweight (a.k.a., less forgiving) fabrics, but that means it’s even more important to stay true to yourself. Please never settle for just good enough! There is always a better choice (or else leave it on the rack). Listen to your inner guidance for cues as to what really speaks to you.
• Understand Your Needs. Are you always hot…cold? Do you walk a lot so you need super comfortable sandals? Do you have to crawl around on the floor (with children, as an IT specialist or organizing guru), or do you run board meetings and have high-powered lunches? What about leisure time, vacation, and dressy summer events? When you are in the dressing room, be sure to ask yourself, “When will I wear this?” and “How will I complete this outfit?” The last thing you want to do is get home and realize that you bought some fun things but you still have a lot of wardrobe loose ends!
• Have a Back-Up Plan. If your favorite designer has gone crazy and shows everything in chartreuse or only cap sleeved, flimsy T-shirts with cargo shorts, you want to be sure you know where to turn next. Having 2, 3 or 4 stores where you like to shop can make a frustrating shopping trip more productive and fun. You just leave and head to another store.
• A love affair with linen. One of the first questions I ask clients at this time of year is…do you love linen or hate it. No one is neutral on this! If you love it great, but you might want other alternatives for those days when linen doesn’t feel right (you’re not in the mood for the rumpled look) or you just want a change. This season has been great for that.

There are lots of pretty jackets and sweaters with a loose weave that let you stay cool but still feel covered, pulled-together, or professional (or whatever your reason is for wearing another layer). Here is a pretty example:

Or, a short-sleeved jacket can be a good alternative (be careful, though, this look can get frumpy in a heartbeat):

I’m sharing this now because there is still time to create a fabulous wardrobe for the summer. Hey, it’s a beautiful season when we don’t have to be all bundled up and wearing our snow boots. You want to spend as much time as possible enjoying the experience and not dreading getting dressed every day. Take a few minutes to plan your wardrobe now and then you can relax and enjoy the rest of the season with delicious abandon!

How often do you shop for clothes or accessories online?

When you do, do you LOVE what you get?  Hmmm…that’s what I thought…sometimes you do and sometimes you don’t.

When you shop on-line you have the entire world of fashion at your fingertips…or so it seems.  Of course, this can be a blessing or a curse.  It can leave you delighted by all the options or totally paralyzed with indecision.

Chances are good, however, that if you are reading this, you spend most of your online shopping dollars at resources that you have found to be tried and true.  And, chances are good you are feeling somewhat uninspired by your purchases.  Right?

You might know (from a previous blog post) that I have mixed feelings about on-line shopping.  Yes, it can make life so easy (at least up front), but it can also complicate things unmercifully when what you get doesn’t live up to your expectations.  Returns, exchanges, frustration and despair can ensue.  Not to mention that it can get costly and your closet can end up looking like a strange confusion of styles that doesn’t make any sense together or it can feel like a collection of blah “basics” – neither is quite what most women are looking to create.

So, yes, I still advocate finding designers you love and frequenting their on-line stores.  These stores and designers are smart.  They make it easy for you to come back time and time again.  You generally know what size you wear and what to expect from their clothes or accessories.  That’s all good.

If, however, you find yourself longing for something different, for a little extra pizzazz in your wardrobe, maybe a view of what else is available in the world of fashion, or perhaps a shot at finding your favorite designer for less, then I’d like to suggest a few places to explore.

Let me give you an example. I’m a huge fan of Not Your Daughter’s Jeans – I own them in 4 colors!  Recently, on one of these on-line shops they featured NYDJ’s at more than half off the full price.  Wow!  A variety of styles and colors – something for nearly every NYDJ’s fan.

Just a little note: the sites that offer great savings also often sell out pretty fast.  It’s definitely worth taking a quick peek when the announcement comes in so you can see if there is something that interests you and get to it before it’s gone.

Some of these sites offer sought after brands at private sale prices and others offer a vast selection of designer brands (not always at discounted prices) you can’t find other places, so they serve two different purposes.

On-line Shopping Resources

Example of pretty dress at Ideeli

www.ideeli.com/invite/GingerBurr - This is a free “member-site” so you do have to sign up (by invitation from a friend) and then you are notified of daily sales on designer brands at up to 80% off.  Amazing deals!
www.tinyurl.com/BeyondTheRack-Ginger - Beyond the Rack is a private shopping club for women and men who want designer brand apparel and accessories at prices up to 70% off retail.  Membership is free, but like Ideeli you must be invited by a friend such as the link above.

www.ruelala.com/invite/gburr446 - Each day at 11 am they introduce new selections of sales (again, big sales of usually around 50%) that will last for 2 days (or until they sell out).  Their notifications are clear, and so it’s easy to see if there’s something you want to take a closer look at.

A beautiful clutch that also empowers women (at Purecitizen)

www.tinyurl.com/purecitizen-ginger - This is a very special site that works similarly to the others above but with a twist – they feature ethical fashion, organic beauty, fair trade home, independent artists and designers, and more…Each sale lasts 72 hours and products are marked down 30-90%!  And, each sale benefits a non-profit.

www.shopittome.com - Eco-friendly and vegan options are easy to follow on Shop It To Me.  You get to choose the brands you follow and you will be notified as often as you’d like when they go on sale!  Wow!

beta.swirl.com/invite/GingerBurr – Swirl is an online sample sale site created in partnership with DailyCandy. What this means for you: clothing and accessories from the world’s best designers, from up-and-coming buzzmakers to our favorite established brands, at up to 80% off.

Stunning Stella McCartney shoes at Bluefly

www.bluefly.com – A longtime online retailer (with a great search option)) — they offer the fashions at 20-75% off and if you sign up for their email alerts you will receive a $10 discount on your first order.

www.yoox.com – Similar to Bluefly, they have been around for a long time (since 2000) and boast a collection of fashions that are hard to find other places.  Plus, these are not on a time limit like some of the other sites (nor do they offer the significant savings the other sites do).  They do, however, have a great search option so you can refine what you are looking for and are not restricted to just what is on sale that day.

http://www.shopbop.com/welcome?invitation_code=4242224QBCYShopbop tends to be a bit trendy but has tons of fashions to choose from, and they offer free shipping and free returns (that’s big!).

And, as an added bonus, with some of these sites you will receive a credit (usually $10-$25) when you refer a friend to one of these sites (as I am doing), and she makes her first purchase.

Here’s the bottom line: Looking doesn’t cost you anything and, as a result, you just might find a fresh, fabulous resource and take your wardrobe and personal style on a new adventure!  Each site offers new fashions and possibilities that you might not even know exist otherwise.  Sure, most of what you’ll see you’ll pass by, but if you discover that one great “find” that delights your senses and makes you happy to wear it, it’s worth it!

Do you have a favorite, unusual on-line shopping resource?  Please let us know!

Before you read this, take a good look at your handbag. Have you been carrying the same one everyday for years? Do you even “see” it anymore or do you grab it and run out the door? Is one handbag enough or would you love to have more but cannot figure out how to transition easily?

One of the most perplexing questions to many women is “what handbag will you carry with that?” Think about it…the outfit is a winner. You’ve even aced the shoes, but the handbag? Hmmm… Frustration sets in. Your everyday bag feels too big and clunky and the other bags in your closet include a quilted diaper bag, a well-worn tote, and a lovely evening bag that holds a credit card and maybe a lipstick. Where’s the fun and pizzazz? Try this:

1. Take Inventory of Your Handbag Collection:Do you have at least two everyday bags, one tote, two fun handbags, and an evening bag? If not, it is time to shop.
2. Take a Fresh Look: Look at each bag you own as if you had never seen it before. Does it look sharp and fresh or a little tired? Do the edges or handle look worn? Does it go with most of your wardrobe? Is it a lovely reflection of you? If you answer no to any of these questions, either the handbag needs a little TLC or to be replaced.
3. Replenish: Consider your lifestyle and basic needs. Do you wear a lot of black or do you alternate it with another basic color? Do you want a bag(s) that can stand the test of time or do you like a new, trendier style every year? What size handbag fits your body shape, size and lifestyle?
4. The More the Merrier: I love handbags and I enjoy changing them to enhance my outfit and suit my mood (it also has the hidden benefit of forcing me to streamline what I carry with me!). I have to admit I change my handbag more frequently in the summer than in the winter but I love my collection nonetheless. Special note: Don’t have more than you can easily store so you can see them. Otherwise, you run the risk of out of sight, out of mind, or it just becomes too much trouble to make the switch. Oh, and to make that switch easy, consider using something like the purse pouchee: http://pouchee.com/
   
5. Handbag Hygiene: Just something to think about…where does your handbag spend most of its time? If you’re like most women, it’s everywhere…your shoulder, the car seat, your desk drawer, the restaurant bathroom counter, and the floor while you’re eating lunch. As a result, your handbag can be laden with more germs than…oh, let’s not go there… Think carefully about where you put your bag. The last thing you want to do is have it on the floor of a public bathroom (or any bathroom for that matter) and a few minutes later on your kitchen table.Want to keep your bag off the floor while you’re at a restaurant. Consider a handbag holder: http://www.totalimageconsultants.com/fun-stuff.shtml#pursehangers

Your handbag, like most accessories, is a reflection of you. Forget about purely functional. There are so many styles available right now that no one needs to settle for something they do not enjoy using.

If you are have only one basic handbag, keep it simple. Whether you choose an elegant shoulder bag, doctor’s bag, hobo bag, bucket bag, compartment bag, satchel or messenger bag (just to name a few  styles), choose a color that goes with most of your wardrobe and keep the hardware (buckles, grommets, and metal detail) to a minimum.

Big Buddha, Susan Nichole (use TOTALIMAGE to receive $10 off), and Melie Bianco have beautiful, fun designs for everyday and special occasion bags and totes.

Want a great looking basic handbag? Try a Beijo Bag: http://www.beijobags.com/

There are a multitude of options for everything from a fun casual tote to a professional handbag to a dressy clutch.

The key to a useful handbag is to blend purpose, beauty and personality. Before buying a handbag that is purely functional, always ask yourself this question: Do I love it and will I look forward to carrying it?