Just in the past week alone I have had several (not just one, but several) women call me saying something like,

Not only do they have to ponder the ever-changing world of fashion as it relates to their body, personal style and lifestyle, but they have to ward off negative comments (whether well-intentioned or not) from others along the way.

For some women, creating a wardrobe has been a constant source of frustration while for others their discontent has evolved as their bodies have changed.  Add to that the bombardment of messages that how they look is not okay, and you have a big giant mess!

Believe it or not, when it comes to how we feel about how we look, more harm is done by those closest to us than strangers or acquaintances.  In today’s technology obsessed world we are overwhelmed with makeover TV shows, fashion magazines and celebrity style updates.  As a result teenagers know a lot more about fashion than those of us over 40 did when we were their age.

Unfortunately, while some of their information might be helpful and enlightening (not all of it, though…remember, they are teenagers!) it’s the delivery that is often lacking in tact.  Sadly, mothers are equally culpable and because their comments often come at an earlier age when we are most vulnerable the ramifications are longer lasting.

Several years ago I surveyed women about what “hurtful comments and unwanted advice” (now a chapter in my body image, style and self-esteem home study program “Who Taught You How To Dress?”) they still carry with them.  Yikes!  The input was overwhelming and often heart wrenching. Here are two simple examples:

The comments range from simple seemingly benign comments like those above to much more insidious and mean-spirited like this one:

Does this strike a chord with you?  Have you experienced something similar?  Does it still influence your feelings about your body and your wardrobe?  The truth is even when you are very insightful and logical about it, it can still have emotional impact as the woman from above went on to explain:

I know this is a huge, often very charged topic (which is why it has its own chapter in my home study program).  I also know it is important to address the hurt so you can move forward and feel good about how you look.  That is a very necessary step to unburden yourself and truly delight in who you are.  Whether it is a good therapist, energy healing or some other personal growth work, the rewards are great.  It is a way to bring your psyche (and your personal style) back to a heart-centered place and truly enjoy who you are and how you express yourself in the world.

Once your awareness has set this journey in motion and you have a newfound sense of empowerment, there are 3 things to remember:

1.    Please Yourself First. What you wear and how you present yourself visually is a very personal decision.  You get to choose – not your daughter, your husband, your best friend or your mother!  And, here’s the clincher: Generally speaking when you feel fabulous about how you look (even if others do not totally agree), their unsolicited comments have much less charge to them. When you reconnect with your personal power and can honestly experience that special part of you that makes you you, discovering your personal style will feel more organic.  Whether you do it on your own or with support, this step is critical to disarming the hurtful comments.

2.    Just Say No! First of all, who gave these people permission to comment on how someone else looks?  Some people have a bad habit of imposing their personal views on others and think that being a family member or close friend gives them free reign.  It does not! When you are the recipient of one of these hurtful comments or unwanted advice, let them know (with grace and love) that this is not acceptable.  If you are having trouble verbalizing this I highly recommend reading books by Cheryl Richardson or Louise Hay (and now they’ve written one together called, “You Can Create an Exceptional Life.”)  They will guide you in setting boundaries so you get what you need AND feel good about it.

3.    Surround Yourself With Support. You deserve to have your life filled with people who cherish you for who you are and are not trying to change you to fit their mold of what is right and acceptable (on their terms).  When you have this kind of support you can also feel comfortable being vulnerable and are more likely to ask them for advice because you know it will be given with kindness and love.

Lastly, I cannot stress this enough.  The premise for much of this unwanted advice is that “I know better” and so they feel like it is their right and duty to impose their views.  Bottom line: the end does not justify the means – no matter what we see and hear on reality TV shows!   Yes, you might go ahead and make the changes they suggest or bully you into, but will it be from a place of inspiration and excitement or sadness, resignation and self-loathing?

Life is too short to spend every day feeling disempowered each time you get dressed.  Your wardrobe is meant to be a source of joy and personal expression not a source of aggravation.  Take it one step at a time as you move yourself in a direction that will make YOU happy every morning.  Whether it means setting boundaries with others, making changes to your wardrobe or both, be sure it comes from a place of genuine delight and a love of beauty motivated by your own self-confidence.  Make peace with your body and with those who criticize you.  Then, allow yourself to explore your style from a heart-centered place.  When you please yourself first, you won’t believe how this will transform your state of being and silence your critics (both inner and outer!).

This summer I was shopping at Nordstrom Rack and came across an Alberto Makali top that caught my eye. The colors were beautiful and the design was sparkly, ethereal and just plain pretty! But I hesitated…just for a split second, but I made note of the hesitation.

My momentary uncertainty intrigued me. What was keeping me from running right into the dressing room to try it on (although I did ultimately do that)? Was I limiting my options or was it really not me?

Have you done the same thing? Have you admired something or been even mildly captivated by something but just walked on by – determining from past experience or some nebulous fashion rules you think you remember hearing somewhere that it isn’t right: women over 40 shouldn’t wear it, horizontal stripes are a no-no, or anyone with hips needs to stay way far away from that style… (you get the idea)?

Here’s something to ponder: There’s a fine line between “knowing” yourself (for instance, feeling genuinely confident that harem pants are not for you) and ‘limiting’ yourself, and your style when it’s not necessary.

Many women pigeon hole themselves into a prescribed way of dressing and thereby limit their options and often squelch their sense of delight. Their wardrobe becomes functional and one-dimensional — devoid of any personal style and their boredom level escalates.

What is at the root of a one-dimensional wardrobe?

• For some it is a fear of stepping out and being noticed as opposed to blending in or trying to disappear.
• Some worry they will make a fashion mistake and look silly. It’s understandable that someone would rather look and feel boring than silly, but it is rare that most women will push the envelope to the point of looking silly. Their worry is generally unnecessary. Unfortunately, anything outside the norm of what they usually wear feels so foreign that they lose perspective on whether it’s trendy, fashionable, cutting edge or none of the above. As a result, tried and true (or not so true but at least safe) wins out.
• And some women are so bound and determined to “find their style” that they hyper focus on certain designs to the exclusion of all else – “knowing” that they can’t wear those things – although not always knowing where that knowing came from (and it has often been received second or third hand at best).
• Still others try really hard but can’t quite seem to figure out how to make it all work and give up from sheer overwhelm and frustration.

I hear this from women all the time. “I can’t wear that,” or, “That doesn’t work on my body,” or, “I’ve tried that before, and it just doesn’t look good.”

Sure, sometimes it’s true but honestly, more often than not it is a self-imposed fashion rule. And, most fashion rules have an exception from time to time.

The next step is: How do you move into a wardrobe that has more personality and dimension without it feeling overwhelming or making lots of expensive mistakes?

Let me go back to the Alberto Makali top I eyed. I was intrigued enough to try it on. Sure, in general I am not the bohemian type but I also know that it’s all about how you interpret any given style, bohemian included.

The top is beautiful! I did buy it.

• It fit me perfectly.
• The colors are beautiful and great on me.
• The top has that ethereal, slightly bohemian quality but in an exquisite, elegantly beautiful way.
• I wear it with more structured pants to keep me from feeling swallowed up by too much airy fabric.
• I wear it when my mood (and the temperature) is more relaxed, sultry and quiet.
• And, I got it at Nordstrom Rack so if I had made a mistake (better to make an occasional mistake than feel restricted by too many self-imposed rules), it would not have been an expensive one.

How can you translate this experience for yourself?

• Pay attention to what catches your eye. It never hurts to try something on. The worst case scenario is that it looks terrible or doesn’t fit right (and can’t be tailored) and you take it off and put it back on the rack. No harm done and often something valuable learned.
• Complete the outfit before you decide. Tossing something on with a pair of sweat pants or sneakers and a skirt will not help you visualize (unless you’re very good at it!) whether the garment has potential. Try to complete the outfit as closely as possible in the dressing room to give you as much of an idea of how it will look finished as possible.
• Listen to your heart and be practical all at the same time. Always imagine where you’ll wear the garment and how it will fit into your wardrobe and lifestyle. AND, if it is something you absolutely love, be adventurous. Hey, although mostly I wear the Alberto Makali top casually and socially, I might choose to wear it to a picnic or baseball game (not that I went to either this summer) if I felt inspired to and it made me feel good – who says I can’t!

Each of us has different parts to our personalities and part of the fun of getting dressed is not only liking the way we look (of course) but also expressing each part of our personality that desires to be expressed in a heart-felt, authentic way. Sure, there are parameters determined by your body type, your age (sometimes), and the particular occasion, but you get to put the spin on how you express your own individuality. Don’t let yourself get stuck in a rut or a hard and fast prescribed way of dressing. Exploring is part of what keeps it all interesting and fun!

What did you learn about yourself from part 1 where we discussed how living with a wardrobe you don’t love undermines your spirit, sacrifices your dreams and wastes your time? What are your hidden costs of having an uninspired wardrobe?

Keep those notes handy because now we are going to talk about how you start to create a wardrobe and personal style you love. (If you missed Part 1, here’s the link)

The truth is that this is a journey…a life-long experience. It isn’t something you do once and then it’s done forever. Yes, creating a personal style you love means paying attention, but first and foremost it means making some changes if you don’t already have a wardrobe you adore. The only way you lose is if you give up!

So, here are 3 steps to help you make changes now:

1. Organize your existing wardrobe. Okay, before you panic and say that’s worse than shopping, I’m here to help. My new FREE e-course (which you can get by subscribing to my Nurturing Beauty Publication) is now available and will take you step by step (baby steps, really!) through this cleansing and uplifting (yes, it will be uplifting) journey. Please promise you won’t skip this step before going on to the next one. This step is first for a reason. Trying to create a personal style you love while your closet is filled with stuff that doesn’t serve you will only lead to frustration and discouragement – I’ve seen it happen many times (and have done it myself!).
2. Identify one element missing from your wardrobe. Please resist the temptation to make a list the size of the phone book of things that are missing from your wardrobe. That will only overwhelm you and keep you from moving forward. Choose just one for now.
   • Let’s say it’s shoes. I know there’s a good chance there are lots of reasons you don’t have the shoes you need (wide feet, can’t wear heels, bunions, long, narrow feet, wear orthotics, etc.). Don’t go there. Focus on what you do want, e.g., pretty basic shoes to go with pants, a charming pair of shoes to go with a skirt…or whatever will make you happy). Then…
   • People watch. See what shoes other women are wearing. Look for ones you like that you think might fit your requirements. (Don’t take time to bemoan about what won’t work for you. Keep your focus on what you do want.) When you see someone wearing a pair of shoes you like, stop her. Tell her you love her shoes and was wondering where she got them. I bet she’ll be delighted you noticed and will be happy to share.
   • Shop somewhere new. So many people get stuck shopping at the same place over and over. If you don’t like the results, it’s time to find some new places to shop. Even if you think you’ve tried everywhere, keep looking. There are always new places popping up and stores that seem to be the world’s best-kept secrets. If you are open to finding them they will appear. I’ve seen it happen over and over.(Do the same thing if your critical need is a new haircut, a dress for a wedding, bathing suit or even basic black pants – whatever your critical need is. There’s always an answer.)
3. Keep it positive. If you go shopping with the attitude that there are no shoes out there that fit you…that your feet are impossible and everything hurts…all the good shoes are too expensive…guess what you’ll find! Yup, you guessed it – you’ll get exactly what you expect. Start to change all that now (and don’t beat yourself up if you fall back into old habits or don’t at first succeed…just keep going).If your experience has been one way for a long time, just congratulate yourself on every little success (no matter how small) along the way. It will pay off in the end. So, picture yourself wearing the most beautiful pair of shoes (don’t get hung up on the specifics – go with the feeling), or perfectly fitting black pants or whatever you are looking. Keep this picture and feeling front and center as you shop.

Bonus: Only buy and wear something if you love it and think it is beautiful. There are no exceptions. This is your opportunity to bring beauty back (if it has been missing) to your wardrobe and style.

Be diligent in following these steps, and you will see a difference.

Little successes add up to big successes. Keep this concept in mind when you are feeling frustrated. Whatever you do, don’t give up! Support is always available.

This is a very important topic, and I recommend highly that you go back and read this more than once. We all need little reminders that we can have what we want. By understanding that you deserve it and by taking these baby steps, I promise you can feel great about the way you look.

If having a wardrobe and personal style you love seems elusive at best and time consuming and frustrating at worst, use these steps to help keep you focused and motivated, and celebrate each little success along the way!

“I don’t have time to go shopping and put together a wardrobe.”  I hear this all the time!

Often, what she is really (usually) saying is, “I don’t have time to walk around the mall or a store futilely trying things on that look terrible or don’t fit and then leave the store empty handed and miserable.”

Yikes!  Who would want to set aside any time for that kind of punishment?

Yes, we all have super busy schedules often balancing work, family, a few cats/dogs, school, friends…and a host of other responsibilities (take your pick) pulling us in a million different directions.

True, most of us have enough on our plates without adding one more thing – especially when that one thing has historically been unpleasant and often unproductive.  Better just to make do, tuck it under the rug and manage as best you can.  Sure, this will work for a while, but at what cost?

It is human nature to prefer to set aside time to do something we enjoy (or that is urgent) than to do something we dislike.  Why do you think messy basements stay messy, writing a paper for a class we don’t like gets put off to the last minute, or cleaning the refrigerator will not take precedence over taking our children to soccer practice or having tea with a good friend.

There are two very important things to consider here:

1.    Living with a wardrobe you don’t love has substantial hidden costs.

2.    Creating a personal style you love cannot only be fun but can take much less time than you think. (The good news is that when you are efficient and productive you can feel like the time is well spent considering the amount of pleasure the results will give you.  Of course, I understand that what feels challenging is the “efficient and productive” part!)

Let’s look, for a minute, at the hidden costs.  They add up over time and take their toll.

When you live with a wardrobe you don’t love, it:

• Undermines your spirit. Tolerating an uninspiring wardrobe takes a toll on your psyche.  You get dressed every morning and sometimes more than once a day if you have another engagement that day.  When you start your day off feeling frustrated, annoyed, hopeless or overwhelmed this feeling weighs on your psyche.  When you stand in front of your closet for an hour trying unsuccessfully to create an outfit (any outfit!) you can wear to __________, it zaps your energy. Who wants that?
• Sacrifices your dreams. Everyone wants to feel good about themselves every time they get dressed.  Some women have had that and lost it over time due to their body changing, lifestyle changes or just general aging (wondering what’s age appropriate, body has shifted a little, etc.) and others never had it to begin with.  In either case, it’s a dream lost…perhaps just buried deeply but it feels lost forever.
• Wastes your time. When your wardrobe and style aren’t working for you then a significant amount of time is used up trying to make things work when what you really long for is to get dressed effortlessly and, dare I say it, with joy!

Uninspired wardrobes happen.  It has nothing to do with your age, weight, profession, where you live or your financial situation. A frustrating wardrobe is an equal opportunity annoyance!

What Can You Do?

• Take a few minutes to jot down what having an uninspired wardrobe is “costing” you (refer to the list above and be creative…add your own).  Just let it flow.  As you write and reflect you are certain to uncover hidden costs and frustrations you didn’t realize were bugging you so much!  (We can all be very good at burying those — at least temporarily.)
• Keep those notes handy and add to them as things occur to you.

Then, stay tuned for the next installment and some fashion tips that offer some relief!

For now, keep smiling and give yourself enormous credit for looking at this deeply.  That’s the very first step (so many women just live with the frustration indefinitely), and you are on your way!

Vacations are a time to relax, renew and enjoy life, right? Try telling yourself that while you are madly packing the night before! I mean, who hasn’t run around at the last minute like a crazy person hoping you remember everything and still leaving the house the next day with the nagging suspicion that you forgot something important (and finding out all too soon that you did)!

No one wants to spend part of their precious vacation bouncing around from store to store replacing things they meant to bring with them. We can all recount experiences like that…perhaps it’s your favorite sandals for walking or going to the beach, the only sunscreen that won’t irritate your skin, your sunglasses, or your evening clutch so you don’t have to carry your big black tote bag with you everywhere. Aggravating doesn’t even begin to describe it!

Each time this happens you vow that the next time you’ll make a packing list so you can check things off as you pack them thereby reducing the chance of leaving some important detail out. But, once you’re back from vacation the urgency is gone, and it doesn’t return until the next trip. Somehow the list never gets made.

If this sounds familiar, I can help. Years ago I made this packing list (because I’m a Virgo and mildly obsessive about things, and because I cannot stand feeling stressed the night before my vacation begins). I never pack without it!

Use it as a guide and personalize it for the next time you travel. It will make your life easier, your packing more efficient, and your departure worry-free!

Have a great summer and happy vacationing!

MY PACKING LIST

• Underwear
• Shoes
• Nightgown
• Robe
• Slippers
• Socks/Stockings
• Dressy clothing (if needed (we often overlook this))
• Belts
• Jewelry/Accessories
• Handbags (evening, casual)
• Foldable/Reusable Tote
• Wrap or Sweater
• Hair Brush/Comb
• Hair dryer (if staying at a B&B that doesn’t have them)
• Haircare products
• Small manicure set (or at least nail file and clippers)
• Bandaids
• Babywipes (keep them in your carry on)
• Toothbrush & floss
• Deodorant
• Nail Polish for touch ups
• Makeup
• Skincare
• Perfume
• Tampons & Pads
• Vitamins & Prescriptions
• Camera (for those who don’t have one in their phone)
• Contact lenses and solution
• Sunglasses
• Sunscreen
• Hat
• Bathing Suit
• Bathing Suit Cover-up
• Gift (if staying with friends)
• Dirty Laundry Bag
• Exercise Clothing
• Sneakers & Socks
• Computer
• Cell Phone Charger
• Nightlight (if staying in a dark hotel!)
• Ear plugs (if staying in a noisy hotel!)
• Small umbrella
• Airline/Train Tickets/Itinerary
• Directions to where you’re going
• Passport (remember to check expiration date!)
• Plug adapters if traveling overseas
• Mp3 player
• Books to Read
• Neck Pillow
• Snacks for plane
• Stain remover (I love Dr. Bronner’s Peppermint Soap)
• Tea bags (if you have a favorite green tea or herbal that you can’t find everywhere)
• Kids’ Stuff (not my area of expertise, so you’re on your own here)

THINGS TO DO BEFORE LEAVING

• Lower Heat/AC
• Set security lighting – lights on timers, etc.
• Unplug toaster oven, stereo, computer and TV
• Note to petsitter
• If going for an extended period, turn down the temperature on your water heater
• Consider turning off your water if you are going away for an extended time (or at least water to washing machine & ice maker (if you have one))
• Stop mail/newspaper if necessary
• Be sure a neighbor has a key just in case
• Remember to arm your house alarm if you have one

Traveling Without the Wrinkles

Do you ever wonder if it’s possible to travel wrinkle free? The answer is an absolute yes! One quick helpful tip. Save your dry cleaner bags. Store them in your suitcase so they are handy when you need them.

On my recent trip to NYC, I had to bring a jacket and a cocktail dress. I had no interest in ironing once I was there so I took a dry cleaner bag and laid it across my suitcase (letting it dangle out over the end). Then I laid my dress on the bag, letting it flow outside the suitcase on top of the bag. I placed another dry cleaner bag over the top of the dress and neatly folded my jacket on top of that bag. I finished with a bag on top of that. Then, I reached underneath all the bags and neatly folded them (all together) into the suitcase.

The bags create air pockets so the clothes are not squished, and they all arrived wrinkle-free in NYC. I even put things on top of the clothes, and they still didn’t wrinkle. Yay!

I hope your travels are safe, fun and have as few wrinkles as possible!

To download a printable version of Ginger’s Packing Checklist, click here.

Are you confused? Do you head into a store all hopeful and happy and leave disgruntled and crabby? Some of you tell me that shopping has gotten to the point where you walk into the store filled with dread and a certainty you won’t find anything – that’s how often you’ve been disappointed.

Knowing what to buy and what looks good can feel tricky. I regularly get questions about particular styles and whether they are suited to someone over 40…and in some cases, anyone at all regardless of her age.

So, I thought we’d have a little fun with it. Let’s talk about 5 fashion or makeup styles that are questionable at best and are, in some cases, absolute no-no’s, especially for women over 40(ish).

1. Puffy Short Sleeves. We are not little girls anymore, and puffy sleeves have a tendency to infantilize grown women. Sure, it can depend on the degree of “puff” and the feeling of the rest of the outfit, but if you put something on and the first thing you see when you look in the mirror is a young girl staring back at you, it’s probably best to leave it to the teenagers. If it is combined with a babydoll style top, don’t even try it on.

2. Too Tight Tops. Not too long ago my partner and I were having lunch in our favorite restaurant and a group of women walked in – two young women and a third woman who we presumed to be their mother. The mother was wearing a white spandex, low cut top. It left absolutely nothing to the imagination (especially from behind) and was unflattering on too many levels to count. I felt sad for her because instead of making her look younger it made her look older.

Yes, the style these days is to wear everything super tight, and in some cases it can have a slimming effect (if the fabric has enough body to hold you in). But, more often than not the opposite is true. Combine that with the fact that the designers today (especially in the summer) have a tendency to make tops out of paper thin fabrics that forgive absolutely nothing and reveal everything. Whether or not you find it attractive, the one certainty is that it is distracting.

Always be sure the fit of your garments skims your body and the fabric glides rather than clings.

3. Too Short Pants. Pants that end at the ankle are universally unflattering. They will always make your legs look shorter and never hit you at a place that balances your body. Mostly, they just look like you washed your pants and they shrank but you didn’t notice.

4. Heavy Eyeliner. Many women get stuck in a makeup rut wearing what they’ve always worn because it used to work. The problem is that what was fun and trendy when we were younger can look heavy and overwhelming when we are a tad older. So many women have come to me wearing a thick pencil or liquid eyeliner that probably was chic when they were 20 but now is distracting and just too much on their eyes. We see the eyeliner first and foremost and never get to notice the natural beauty of their eye color.

If this sounds familiar, switch for 10 days to using a powder liner on your upper lashline. Use a small liner brush and smudge it right between the lashes. Use a very dark brown, charcoal or even black. This look has a lot of impact without looking overwhelming.

Wearing eye makeup in a new way can be one of the hardest things for a woman to get used to. It is true that when we’ve seen ourselves the same way for many years, we almost don’t recognize our faces when the makeup changes. Even seemingly subtle changes have a big impact, which is why I suggest wearing your new look for 10 days before you decide (plus it can take you a little while to feel comfortable with a new technique).

5. Unnatural Lip Line. As we get older our lips get thinner. This is bad news for those of us who naturally have thinner lips. Knowing how to plump them up a bit without using injectibles is tricky. I’ve noticed women lining outside their natural lipliner with a lip pencil or wearing their lipstick slightly outside the natural line. Please don’t. Mostly it makes you look a bit like Goldie Hawn in “First Wives Club” and looks simply curious at best.

I understand this issue since I have a naturally thin upper lip. I use a very natural colored dry (not creamy) lip pencil to line just at the upper edge of my natural line. The color looks like my natural lips and that’s about as much as I can push it without it looking kind of scary! In case you’re interested, this is the lip liner I use: BWC Pinky Brown Lip Liner http://www.totalimageconsultants.com/makeup.shtml#lips The dryness of the pencil helps keep lipstick from bleeding.

And, when it comes to choosing a lipstick color, keep it in the light or medium range – never dark. And, smile a lot!

I want to be sure to acknowledge that fashion is not an exact science. I’ll be the first to say that. You will definitely find exceptions to every rule, and I am definitely one for trying new things and exploring new styles. That said, the ones I shared above are fashions that unless you are absolutely, positively sure you can pull them off, let someone else experiment with them. I promise that there are so many other beautiful styles out there that it’s really not necessary to try to “make” something work. If you have to try that hard it generally isn’t worth it, and you won’t miss anything by leaving it out.

Are you a woman over 40 who has your own list of questionable styles? Please share!

When I work with a client in her closet invariably the discussion turns to jewelry. Does she have some? Like it? Not like it? Wear it? What kind…fine jewelry? Costume? Bridge? You get the idea.

Finally, I ask to see it. Can I tell you how many times that turns out to be a huge ordeal! At least 75% of the time her jewelry is either in a drawer in boxes, scattered in a jewelry box or in another room (in boxes, drawers or bags)!

Then, of course, I ask if she wears it. The answer is almost always…not really.

I can tell you right now that if your jewelry is strewn somewhere or neatly (or not so neatly) tucked away in boxes two things are generally true:

• It’s too much trouble to get to it to wear it.
• You probably have things you’ve forgotten about.

Thirdly, you might not love it enough to keep it handy so you can wear it. All of this could be remedied if you can create a way to display your jewelry. Several things will happen:

• You feel renewed excitement at the idea of wearing it.
• You will be able to find it easily – which is more likely to translate into you wearing it more, too.
• You will become acutely aware of what you no longer like or what doesn’t go with anything or is out of style which makes it much easier to purge.

The question then becomes, how do you display it?

Well, as you know, I spend time in lots of closets and have come across a number of women who have devised clever ways of organizing and storing their jewelry so it’s readily visible.

They are delighted to share their ideas with you:

Annie loves to take unusual containers and turn them into jewelry holders. Simply go to Bed Bath & Beyond and pick up a silverware tray and, voila, you can store your jewelry just like she does.

Amy took one shelf of in her closet to display her necklaces by attaching hooks. It was easy to see what she has and coordinate it with her clothes.

Claudyne lives in a fabulous old house that has a bit pole running through her walk-in closet. She attached plastic hooks and hangs all of her necklaces there. You can easily see what she has so getting dressed and accessorized is simple.

I also recently found this fun jewelry organizer on-line: http://www.belledangles.com/ I haven’t tried it but it looks promising. If anyone tries it I would love to hear what you think.

Lastly, I have a fabulous cabinet that doubles as a full-length mirror that I keep in my bedroom filled with all my jewels! It comes in several wood finishes, and the price has dropped since I got it so now’s your chance.

It doesn’t matter how you store your jewelry as long as you can see it and get to it easily. Like most other things when it’s out of sight it’s out of mind. Let me know what works for you!

At first, as I walked around a department store with a client, we were not finding her colors very easily.  This was back at the beginning of the spring shopping season when everything seemed to be beige!

After about 15 or 20 minutes she turned to me and said, “I would have left the store by now and gone home empty handed and frustrated.”

I told her to have heart, take a deep breath and relax.  We would find what we wanted.  Sure enough, at the end of our shopping time she had the two outfits (plus a few extras!) we had been looking for so she could feel absolutely confident making a presentation the following week.  The colors were perfect, the styles suited her personality and they were appropriate for being in front of her staff and colleagues.

Sure, shopping successfully takes understanding certain guidelines, fashion rules, and of course, personal styling tools.  It also requires a certain amount of persistence and a positive attitude (which, I know, many of you have lost over the years).

It’s important to know when the store just isn’t doing it for you and when you need to focus and dig a little deeper.

Since we are in the middle of the shopping season, I wanted to give you all a boost of confidence to help you navigate a shopping experience with grace and feel productive at the same time.

How to Shop Successfully:

The next time you head out to the store of your choice, keep these tips in mind:

• When you go to a department store, go with a purpose and find the specific department that fits your needs.  (Try to refrain from getting distracted.)  If that still feels overwhelming, ask for help or shop in a smaller store.
• Set an intention. Go in with the intention that you will find everything you want joyfully and effortlessly (if you go in as if you are waging a war you will exhaust yourself and sure enough the going will be tough – just as you expected!)  To counteract this, create a positive affirmation before you even start.
• Look for your best colors ONLY – make this the first thing you look for once you find the department you are shopping in.
• Shop for one thing at a time, e.g., jeans, suit, outfit for a specific event, etc.  Keep it simple and you are much more likely to feel happy with the outcome.
• Shop only when you are relaxed and happy. Skip this one at your own risk.  I have seen women shopping when they are harried, not feeling well or down in the dumps, and it is rarely a pretty picture (at least for someone who generally dislikes shopping (for those of you for whom shopping is retail therapy, that’s a different story – it is more likely to give you a boost)).

Be sure to avoid:

• Wandering aimlessly around the store. Have a purpose and goal in mind and stick to it.
• No multi-tasking. Trying to focus on 3 or 4+ items at once will put your mind and psyche on overload.  Of course, if you have immediate success with your original objective and you have the desire and energy to keep going then, by all means, keep shopping.
• Run from pushy sales women. There are two types of saleswomen you want to avoid: 1.  Saleswomen who insist that they know better than you do about what you should buy.  Even if something does look good, if it is not your personality or you just plain don’t like it, it will just sit in your closet unworn.   (Note: This does not mean you shouldn’t try new things, but sometimes the sales women are way off base.  If you have your words (from the inner beauty work we’ve done together or through the home study program, this will help to keep you on track).) 2. Saleswomen with frenetic energy.  Both will exhaust and overwhelm you – and you are sure to buy things you don’t like!

If you have your Nurturing Beauty Shopping Guide from “Who Taught You How To Dress?” be sure that is in your handbag at all times.  It will help keep you on track and make good selections.

If you have been procrastinating about getting your spring shopping done, print out this article and take it with you.  Keep your chin up, plan on success and most of all, have fun!

(Note: If are still not having any success or you find yourself procrastinating endlessly, I am happy to help.  Take a minute to fill out the “I Need Help” form on my website (http://www.totalimageconsultants.com/i-need-help.shtml) and let’s set up a time to talk.  Let’s see if we can find a way for you to create a wardrobe you love and feel great dressing every single day!)

I have been traveling a bit more lately than usual. One of my pet peeves is hotel bathroom mirrors! There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that these were designed by men who never have to put on makeup in the bathroom.

Invariably, I try getting super close up or several feet back to see if I can get the overhead lighting to be a bit more forgiving. I inevitably give up and go to the mirror over the desk in the bedroom or grab a hand mirror (if it’s daytime) and go to the window.

What’s up with that?

It should not be nearly so complicated to apply a little makeup! I hate leaving the room wondering if I look scary or not!

What I have noticed in talking with my clients is that so many women settle for the equivalent of hotel bathroom mirrors to put on their makeup every day. How they ever see what they are doing is beyond me.

Here’s the culprit: overhead lighting. No, no, no…it will cast shadows giving you dark circles and basically make it nearly impossible to see what you are doing – at least with any degree of confidence.

Overhead lighting is at best utilitarian. Sure, it lights the room but it doesn’t allow you to see your face clearly and without that ability you feel frustrated – or just tired after seeing all those light-enhanced dark circles.

Give yourself a break and a lovely gift. It doesn’t even have to be expensive. Who says you have to tear out all the existing lighting in your bathroom (although that would certainly be ideal) and start over. Nope…you can keep what’s there but just do your makeup elsewhere.

It’s a small investment. Try something like this Conair makeup mirror:

http://www.amazon.com/CONAIR-BE18LC-Polished-Chrome-Lighted/dp/B0000ADY4H

If you’ve been putting on your makeup in the dark you’ll be surprised by the difference when you have better light and can actually see what you are doing. You’ll apply your makeup faster and seemingly effortlessly compared to squinting and doing various facial acrobatics just to put on your makeup! Yay!

If you have a favorite makeup mirror, please share!