The Fall shopping season is my favorite.  The colors are beautiful and everything looks so cozy.  For the most part, I have to say that this season is shaping up nicely (of course, it is still early but I’m hopeful it will stay that way and get even better as the months pass).

Brown is back (a huge yay!) – although it is still only dribbling into the stores but that should change as the weeks pass.  Stacked heels are giving women the lift without the wobbly feeling.  And, there’s more!

That’s what this special seasonal update is all about.  I’ll share with you what I love and what I don’t in my Fall 2011 “Bewitched, Bothered & Bewildered” Fashion report.  Enjoy!

Bewitched

Color: Bright, bold and rich colors are in.  It’s a delicious time of year!  Orange (we’ll come back to this), cobalt blue, red (yes, it’s a tribute to vampires and blood), magenta, Forest colors (sage, hunter, jade, teal).  Brown is back…thankfully!  And, camel takes on more of a rust tone.

Let’s talk about red for a minute.  They are touting it everywhere as THE color of the season, but I just spent an entire day in Lord & Taylor in New York City with a client who really wanted to wear red and could we find any at all?  Nope!  Not one piece.  So, perhaps it is planning to be fashionably late but don’t get too excited about it yet.

All of this is good except the focus on orange (it’s not a great color for a lot of people although those of us who can wear it are happy!) and the camel moving closer to rust is not fabulous.  Again, those with super duper warm tones in their skin will be ecstatic.  Everyone else will have to admire it from afar!

Dresses & Skirts: There is a lot going on here – every imaginable length is in.  Work dresses (with sleeves…hallelujah!) are hot.  Midi’s (that hit mid-calf) are the newest (albeit tricky) addition.  If it hits you at the widest part of your calf it will make your legs look heavy, so be careful.  Maxi dresses are all the rage but they can overwhelm you in a heartbeat and can look a little goth.  Go ahead and try them but don’t feel badly about leaving them on the rack.

Stacked Heels (including loafers): This trend will make many women’s hearts sing.  What’s most lovely about this is that every heel width is still available so for those for whom stacked heels are too clunky, you can still find slimmer heels, wedges and flats.   For those who have been longing to wear heels but don’t like teetering on stilts, these will be a blessing.  The loafer look (some are even platforms!) could be a bit over the top but some will embrace it and carry it off just great.  It can be a fun look with pants.

Shimmer for Day: One of my favorites!  When the weather gets cold and dreary, wearing something with a little shimmer or sparkle can be a great pick-me-up.  Here’s a great example to wear under a casual sweater or a jacket: http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/lauren-by-ralph-lauren-sleeveless-metallic-jersey-top/3191392?origin=keywordsearch&resultback=5934

Plaid: Once again, plaid is big for Fall.  Like most prints, a little goes a long way so if you like it wear it sparingly and be sure the basic colors in it look good on you.  If you just want to experiment, a scarf is a great way to add a touch of it without going overboard: http://www.zappos.com/echo-design-embroidered-plaid-olive

Capes: Capes are pretty but often fairly impractical – at least here in the northeast where there are usually about 10 days when the weather is just right for you to wear them.  But, if you like that Jane Eyre kind of feeling, have fun with it.  Here’s a beautiful short cape (that is also cruelty-free!): http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/via-spiga-asymmetrical-cape/3176405?origin=related-3176405-60133843-0-1-1

Bothered

Bright Pants: Oh, dear, I had a little 1980’s déjà vu.  Bright red jeans are everywhere.  With rare exceptions (most of which are on the very young) they are tricky.  You really have to know what you are doing and have the personality to pull it off.  Eager to try them?  Get one pair and see what you think (and if you wear them or they sit in your closet looking tempting but never actually make it on your body!).  If you aren’t sure, I’d say skip it.

Feathers in your hair: This is a hugely cruel new fashion trend.  Those long feather extensions sported by celebrities like Mylie Cyrus and Hillary Duff come from live roosters.  They are not fake.  It is bad enough that the roosters are raised so their feathers can be used as fishing lures in fly-fishing but to be a fashion trend has caused the demand to escalate and more roosters are suffering.  Please say no to such a cruel and unnecessary trend. Click here to read more.

Choker Necklaces: These remind me of a prom outfit gone wrong.  Occasionally they can look sweet but mostly not.  And, if you have any softness in the neck area, they will only draw attention to it.  Not to mention that the proportions are totally unbalanced.   There are plenty of other beautiful necklace trends and lengths to experiment with (including long pendants).  I suggest leaving this one alone.

Silky pants: With rare exceptions these will look like you are wearing your pajamas.  They are great for lounging around the house or for celebrities who are super trendy, but otherwise save your money for a style more lasting and flattering.

Sky High Platforms: So what’s up (so to speak) with this crazy trend.  Women are falling (yes, they are!) and teetering unattractively on platforms so high that we fear for their lives.  It is hard to walk gracefully in a shoe like this!  Yes, I think platforms are great fun but when women’s lives (and ankles) are at risk or they walk funny, then what’s the point?

Bewildered

Beehive Hairdo: I have often wondered if this style would ever make a comeback.  Well, it has and not only that but it has incorporated a twist that makes it even a little more eeeuw! – Imagine a “grunge beehive” and the image that brings up.  I’m sure a beehive hairdo can be done tastefully especially if it’s just for an evening out (although I still can’t imagine it’s good for your hair!) but when you add the grunge factor I think all hope is lost.

Mustard Hues: I thought yellow was challenging when that was all the rage for a few seasons but now they are taking it one step further from wearability – mustard!  Sure, there are a few people who look good in it but whereas at least bright yellow looks lively and fun, mustard just looks blah and a tad sickly on someone whose skin tone can’t handle it.  Unless you’re sure, skip it!

The Denim Shirt: Denim never seems to go out of style and that’s fine.  Now that we have a little stretch in denim I have my fair share.  But, when it comes to jean shirts and dresses, beware.  Most of them are made from a soft, lighter colored denim.  Unless you are sure this is a great color for you, I would walk on by.  Also, in most cases, it has a super casual, slightly rustic feel to it, so if that doesn’t fit with who you are or how you want to express your style, again, leave it on the racks.

The shopping season is in full swing and there is a lot to celebrate out there, and, as always, the styles will shift and evolve as the season moves along. Right now, for instance, there are not many jackets for women to wear to work (although there are plenty of suits), while there are lots of long cardigan sweaters.  They can be great for business casual but it’s nice to have the option of a fabulous jacket or two…I suspect we’ll see more of those in the next month.

Have fun exploring.  You’ll see lace, peplums and polka dots throughout the season as well – all fun trends for the right person.  If shopping sometimes feels overwhelming, take this guide with you for a little moral support!

Plan to shop now and again in October, and you’ll round out your wardrobe for the approaching winter.  Mostly, have fun and listen to your inner voice as it guides you to styles that look and feel fabulous!

Some mornings I look in the mirror and feel like I look about a 100 years old.  I have learned that frowning at myself or analyzing every inch of my face in a magnified mirror does not make things better (only worse!), and a big smile always perks me up (at least temporarily).

I also know that how my hair looks can bolster my self-esteem or deflate my ego in about 5 seconds.  That could account for my lifelong love of changing hairstyles.  Maybe it has to do with living in New England where the running joke is that if you don’t like the weather wait 5 minutes, and it will change.  So goes my hair!

For the past year I have been letting it grow.  It is now nearly shoulder length (depending on who blows it dry!).  I even (for the 40 millionth time in my life) tried growing out my bangs only to realize once again that it makes my face look longer and thinner (and now we can add older), so last week I went to Josie and said cut the bangs…please!

Here’s what I’m wondering…Is there ever a time in our lives when our hair becomes a non-issue?  I have to admit that if someone asks me what my favorite feature is my hair is the first thing that comes to mind. I was blessed with thick red hair (although the redness gets some help from my trusty colorist these days!), and I enjoy changing my hair style frequently.  That said, I still have plenty of moments of frustration and dreaded bad hair days.

I also know that at least three quarters of the women who come to me for help with their personal style are somewhat disgruntled or discouraged by their hair.  It doesn’t matter if they are 15 or 65, they still have questions, and I can relate!

Add to that the issue of age appropriateness and you’ll find many women in a conundrum.  In fact, a couple of weeks ago, I was speaking to a group of young women on a Sunday afternoon and several of them told me about an article that appeared in the New York Times entitled, “Why Can’t Middle-Aged Women Have Long Hair?”  They wanted to know my opinion.

After a quick roll of my eyes, I said, I can’t believe this is still something we worry about!  Of course, here I am a 54-year-old woman (talking to women in their 20′s) who is in the process of letting her hair grow which gives you an idea of my thoughts on this.

Fifteen years ago I wrote a chapter in my book called “Hair Length Has Nothing To Do With Age.”  I thought this issue was a done deal back then, but it’s 2010 and the NY Times still considers it newsworthy!

So, can women of any age have long hair?  Yes, absolutely.  Should every woman wear long hair.  No, absolutely not.  Therein lies the challenge – finding the most fabulous style for YOU!

Let’s take a look at hair and see if we can sort through a few of the mysteries…

•    What Is The #1 Thing You Can Do To Refresh Your Style in General?

Get a fabulous haircut and be sure your color goes with your skin tone.  Just take a peek at Sally Field in one of her commercials these days, and you’ll see what I mean.  Her hair is way too dark for her skin and, as a result, looks harsh.  Add to that the fact that her hair looks messy most of the time.  I know they are shooting for casual and carefree but for someone with as much spirit as she has, it’s just not working.  She ends up looking a tad haggard!

Some of you might wonder…hmmm…if Sally Field, a celebrity, can’t get a haircut and color that flatters her how can I?  No worries…there are fabulous hairstylists everywhere.  If yours isn’t giving you something that works for you, keep looking.  Ask someone whose hairstyle or color you admire where she gets it done, and go there.

•    Can Everyone Have A ‘Wash And Dry’ Look?

Don’t I wish!  Your hairstylist can only do so much to make your hair wash ‘n go, and not everyone is cut out to be a wash and wear kind of gal.  Remember, it is not the hairstylist’s fault if you want long wavy hair and yours is pin straight or kinky curly by nature.  It’s just not going to work (without a little (or more) intervention) no matter how she cuts it.

I have come to accept (some days better than others) that it takes me a long time to blowdry my hair, but letting my hair air dry just doesn’t make me happy.  I’m not an easy, breezy, laid-back kind of gal, and my hair doesn’t cooperate without a little TLC.  So, short of cutting my hair so short that a blow drier isn’t necessary, I’m stuck styling it (or paying to have someone else do it).

•    Does Your Hair Have Personality?

Understanding your personal style (your essence) affects every part of your image, and your hair is no exception.  Are you sweet, bubbly, dramatic or direct?  Maybe you’re sophisticated, quiet or free-spirited…?  Whatever is true for you, the bottom line is that your hair must reflect your personality.

One woman told her stylist that she wanted a hairstyle that was “playful.”  This was the part of her personality she wanted to express (staid or boring just wouldn’t cut it), and she got it!

Remember, too, that while others might compliment your hairstyle, the question to ask yourself is if it makes you happy.

For me, I like a little drama, glamour or sophistication (it remains to be seen if long hair will make the grade but I’ve come this far so stay tuned!).  I greatly admire (and am often envious of) pretty, uncomplicated looks on others, but I have come to realize that they often do not translate well to my head!

•    Does Hair Upkeep Have To Be So Expensive?

Your hair is your biggest (and constant) accessory.  Other than wearing a hat or shaving your head it is there all the time…front and center for everyone to see.  It’s hard to hide – although I have heard rumors that head wraps are an up and coming trend!

This is not a place to cut corners, or you’ll be miserable every time you look in the mirror.  Yes, coloring your hair can get costly and can make the idea of gray hair appealing (check out my past blog on the new trend to going gray), but even that requires you have an absolutely terrific hair cut and wear clothes in your perfect colors or you risk looking frumpy and, yup, old.

The majority of women will admit that they want to look reasonably youthful as long as possible, so old is not a look most of us are shooting for.   Remember, attitude is everything and your hair must have attitude (fitting with your inner essence, of course ?).

Beware of do-it-yourself hair color or having a friend help you unless you are absolutely sure it works.  I can attest to the fact that once you get enough white or gray hairs it becomes more challenging to use over the counter hair dyes successfully (my hair likes to turn pink if we aren’t careful!).  And, ending up with a color that doesn’t go with your skin tone is a million times worse than being gray!

So, here’s your checklist:

Do you love your hair cut?

Are you reasonably good at styling it?

Does your hairstylist listen to you when you ask for something different?

Do you love your hair color?

Does your hair cut and color reflect your personality?

Do you feel good about how your hair looks most days?

If you answered no to any of those then it’s time for a change.  One of the quickest ways to give yourself a style lift is to get a fabulous hair cut and color that makes you smile every time you look in the mirror (except, perhaps, in store dressing rooms but that’s an article for another day)!

If you answered yes to all the questions then you’re having a good hair day…enjoy!

Do you remember that Clairol advertisement?  “Does she or doesn’t she?  Only her hairdresser knows for sure!” If you remember that, chances are good that you’re old enough to have considered the dilemma of whether to dye your hair or let it go naturally gray.  (And, if you are someone who is over 50 and only has a handful of gray hairs then count yourself lucky!  You’re off the hook from making this decision (and you just saved countless dollars and hours at the hairdresser!))

I’ve known women (and men (my youngest brother, for one)) who have started graying in their late teens or early 20′s, and I know women (my partner, actually) who even in their mid-fifties and beyond only have a smattering of grays – most of which are nearly imperceptible.  And, then I have many clients and friends who ask me regularly over months or years if it is time to start coloring their hair (they trust me to tell them).  (I’m a big proponent of keeping your natural hair color as long as possible…and sometimes forever.)

Because we live in an in-your-face, youth-obsessed culture, it is no surprise that whether to go gray or not is a question many of us do not take lightly. We’ve all heard about how gray hair “ages” a woman but a man looks “distinguished.”  No wonder women’s confidence and self-esteem often suffer as she gets older!

I, on the other hand, pretty much nixed the idea of graying about 40 years ago while still in my mid-teens.  My sister (who is also a redhead) and I made a pact, after seeing my redheaded grandmother turn a blah, faded shade of yellow for a long time before it turned pure white, that we would always be redheads. That’s easier said than done when it comes to red hair (just think how many pink or lavender haired ladies you’ve seen out there!).  Thankfully, I have a fabulous colorist who keeps my hair from turning unnatural shades of red.

So all this is leading up to the point that gray hair can be strikingly beautiful, and it can also be extremely aging.  The key is to treat it as a fashion accessory (which our hair actually is) from day one.

If your goal is to let your hair gray naturally, and you still want to feel fresh, youthful and stylish (whatever that means to you), then there are 3 things to keep in mind:

1. Get a fabulous haircut. No straggly ends, and no blah, non-descript styles.  I find that a lot of women who let their hair go salt and pepper have thick, coarse, wavy hair and for sure that helps right off the bat.  But, if yours is none of those things you can still have fabulous gray hair just be sure you keep it well-shaped and well-groomed.
2. Only wear your best colors. I am a color fanatic (I’m referring here to the color clothing you wear) no matter what age you are.  And, with good reason…as we get older it becomes even more important since color is extremely powerful.  Unflattering colors can make you look pale or faded, overwhelm you, or highlight lines and shadows (not usually our preference).  When you let your hair go gray it is even more important that you wear colors (and no, they are not the same colors you could wear 20 years ago!) that absolutely support your natural coloring including your gray hair.  Without exception, it makes a huge, huge difference.
3. Dress your personality not your age. This, again, is something I work with all my clients on no matter what their age (that’s the aligning inner and outer beauty part of all my programs), but it becomes even more valuable the older we get.  Too many women give up and dress for “comfort” alone.  This often means shapeless, unflattering styles.  No, no, no!  While it might take a tad more focus to find what you want to wear to feel terrific, it is out there.  I have clients who are 75-80+ years old who have fabulous wardrobes and look beautiful (and comfortable!) every day.  It is a matter of learning about yourself, your body, your lifestyle and resources that will support all of that.

Can I add one more thing?  Stop comparing yourself to women who are 25 or 30 years old (even if you are 25 or 30 years old!!) (and count yourself lucky if this has never been a concern for you).  We have a tendency to look at other women and see how we measure up in comparison.  Believe me, I know (I can remember sitting on the beach as a very young woman wishing I had the nice straight, tanned legs of the other women walking by).  It’s a no-win and too often leaves you feeling less-than!

Embrace your individuality – that wonderful spark inside you that makes you who you are.  Perhaps part of what makes you YOU is your decision to go gray.  If so, rejoice and enjoy it!

I am letting my hair grow…again!  Anyone who has known me any length of time is rolling her eyes and saying, so what else is new!  It’s true.  I change my hairstyle often and always have.  My biggest issue with it is (no surprise) why letting my hair grow has to take so long?  I don’t want extensions…I just want my hair to be longer now!  Tell me you haven’t experienced this, too!

Then I thought, okay I’m now in my 50′s…it’s time to stop whining about it.  So, I decided that while the end result of having it longer will be great, enjoying it during the growing out phase is important.  Whoa, what a breakthrough.  I no longer have to spend months of my life finding my hair disagreeable.  Then, I realized I had to figure out how to make this feel good or else I was just paying lip service to this new epiphany.

The other day when I was having my hair colored I mentioned to Ed, my colorist, that at the length my hair is now I sometimes feel like an aging version of the Little Dutch Boy of paint can fame.  He laughed (notice he didn’t disagree) and said, “Well, you have to put it behind your ears or play with it a bit until you get past this look.”   So, since my ears are not my favorite feature (I go through phases of feeling comfortable wearing my hair behind my ears) and since it is winter and that makes my ears cold anyway, I opted for taking a different tactic – big earrings.

Big earrings are “in” even more this season than they have been, and I have my fair share of good-sized earrings.  What a difference.  They hang right below my hair (I have a long neck which helps), and they look great (and take a little focus away from my hair).  So, until my hair grows another inch and you can’t see the earrings anymore, I have found a solution that feels good.  I’d love to hear what you have done to get you through that growing out phase (short of cutting it again, that is!).