What’s standing (or should I say hanging) between you and a great wardrobe? Believe it or not, it’s not lack of time, a limited budget or the fact that you would rather have a root canal than go shopping. Rather, it’s…drumroll please…all those lonely, neglected, despised or forgotten garments that have taken up permanent residence in your closet.

You may remember from “10 Reasons You Have Too Many Clothes,” why many women suffer from an overstuffed closet. The question now is what can you do about it? How do you know when to keep something or let it go? One thing is for sure: If you cannot clearly evaluate and honestly understand why a garment doesn’t work for you, you’ll keep hanging on to it hoping that someday you’ll find a reason or need to wear it. But (and this is really important), you will not miss it if you feel absolutely clear about why it won’t ever work for you. Not to mention that this gives you super valuable information for your next shopping trip.

So many women say to me, “But, it’s in good condition. I barely wore it.” Or, “I paid a lot of money for it so I have to find a way to wear it.” They are convinced that those are reasons enough to keep it. They are not. Everyone has a different idea of what is too much or too little, and how much you paid for something does not influence whether it looks good on your or not. Of course, the more you understand about what works in your wardrobe, the less likely you will be to waste money (of any amount) on things you don’t wear. The ultimate goal, with every garment, is to wear it so much that the price per wear becomes negligible…no matter what the original cost.

If you spent a lot of money on something that doesn’t suit you, now is the time to cut your losses, learn from the experience and allow something fabulous to come into your closet that you do wear a lot (and, let’s not forget this part…that you enjoy wearing). Once you understand why it doesn’t work the chance of you repeating that kind of expensive mistake again drops dramatically.

I totally understand that your closet might not change without some serious intervention, so let’s get started!

Let me say, first of all, that if your closet is overflowing with unworn clothes, you’ll want to take this one baby step at a time or you won’t do it. You know that’s true because you haven’t done it yet, right? The job feels daunting, not even a little bit fun and just downright overwhelming. On most days, you try to get in and out of your closet as quickly as possible as possible so you don’t have to acknowledge the situation. But, with this newfound information, you’ll see the results right away.

I’m going to walk you through the steps to empower you to move an item out with grace and ease when it’s clear it is no longer serving you. Ready, set, go!

1. Take one item that you’re not wearing out of your closet, put the item on (yes, put it on!) and ask yourself these questions:

• Does the color look great (not okay, decent or good enough, but great!) on you?
• Does it fit you right now?
• Is it in good condition or are you willing to do any necessary repairs (this includes de-wrinkling, a.k.a., ironing!)?
• Does it have fond memories or at least no disturbing memories attached to it? (Please note that fond memories alone are not enough reason to keep it (at least not in your every day closet). If it has fond memories and it’s a great color, fits you, etc. then keep going. Otherwise, move it to another closet and admire it and enjoy the memories there.)
• Does it work with your current lifestyle needs? So many times I’ve seen women keep clothes from their corporate days many years after they’ve needed them…just in case. If it has been more than a year, move them out.
• Is it comfortable? If not, and the cause of discomfort cannot be remedied, it goes away.
• Do you love it? This actually should be the first question but there’s a lot to consider here so keep reading.

That was step number 1. If you can say a resounding (not pitiful whimper) yes to ALL of these questions, you may move to round 2. If you said no to any of them, it goes in the go away pile (and we’ll talk about that more in a minute).

For all of you who just did that exercise without putting the garment on and chose to put the item back in your closet even though you haven’t worn it in eons (you know who you are!), take it out and ask yourself this:

• Can you make a complete outfit with it? If not, ask yourself these questions:
• How long have you had it? (If it’s more than 2 years since you’ve worn it, it automatically goes in the “go away” pile.)
• Did it used to have another piece that went with it? This happens often. You buy a pretty print skirt, for example, and the top to go with it and then the top gets a hole or a stain and you have to discard it. This leaves you with half of an old outfit and no way to complete it. Chances are 10 to 1 you never will. (Again, if you’ve had it for more than 2 years, it automatically goes in the “go away” pile.)
• If you are still reluctant to let it go, you absolutely must put it on. Believe me, your mind can play funny tricks on you and if it has fond memories associated with the garment you’ll feel compelled to keep it…until you see it on. At least 85% of the time, it turns out the garment is not as fabulous as you remember (and that’s not to say it wasn’t fabulous at some point but it had its day and this isn’t it). Perhaps it fits your body differently (or maybe not at all). It might feel “old” – like it came from a different era. And, often times you discover it has a stain, a tear or some defect that makes it less likely that you can still wear it. This is all invaluable information that you often won’t get without having the garment on your body.

Why go through all of this? Because it’s a thousand times easier to give something to charity, take it to a consignment shop or discard it if you know it will never work for you. There’s a freedom that comes with that awareness and once your closet is cleared of all the unworn and unwearable clothes, your mind and heart will feel lighter.

If you put something in the go away pile and you’re experiencing heart palpitations worrying that you’ll miss it, relax. There is an interim step that will give you some ease. Simply pack the items away in an empty closet or plastic bins in the attic. Most importantly, get them out of your every day closet. That way, if you decide you miss it you know exactly where it is. I can easily predict that 99-100% of the time you won’t miss something for even one second.

As you can see from all of this, if things just sit in your closet, you need to find out why before you take the next step to create a wardrobe you love. If after asking yourself all these questions you are still unsure about some pieces then it is time to get some objective, preferably expert, assistance. Sometimes you are just too close to the situation to be objective yourself or you just need some expert validation that you are making the right decision for the right reasons, and with a little support and guidance it all becomes crystal clear.

So, keep going. You’ll gain momentum the more you are able to understand what’s working and what’s not. In fact, make this a regular exercise so you don’t end up every year or two with a closet full of unworn clothes. Assess your situation on a regular basis and you’ll be getting dressed with joy and ease every day. Ahhh, can you just feel the relief!

It’s summer and T-shirts reign. Everywhere you look there is a sea of crewneck, shapeless, dreary-colored T-shirts. How did they get to be a staple in so many people’s wardrobes? I keep hoping I’ll wake up and realize it was all a bad dream but no such luck!

So, what is the origin of the T-shirt? I found this at (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/T-shirt):

“The T-shirt evolved from undergarments used in the 19th century, through cutting the one-piece “union suit” underwear into separate top and bottom garments, with the top long enough to tuck under the waistband of the bottoms. T-shirts, with and without buttons, were adopted by miners and stevedores during the late 1800s as a convenient covering for hot environments.

“T-shirts, as a slip on garment without buttons, originally became popular in the United States when they were issued by the U.S. Navy during or following the Spanish American War. These were a crew-necked, short-sleeved, white cotton undershirt to be worn under a uniform. It became common for sailors and Marines in work parties, the early submarines, and tropical climates to remove their uniform “jacket”, wearing (and soiling) only the undershirt. It is possible that the Navy uniform boards first discovered the T-shirt by watching dock crews.”

They, of course, got their name because of the shape of the shirt, a “T” (which, right there tells you it’s shapeless). Because they are so universally loved, they are touted as being versatile and basic, and to be honest, they are neither. Shocked? Let me explain:

Your average shapeless T-shirt (with or without logos!) is universally unflattering, especially for most women who, surprise, have a shape! This is because:

• While women with a long neck and who are small busted might look acceptable (notice I didn’t say great!) in a crew neck, it is generally not anyone’s go-to neckline. That tells you something. Why settle?

• The sleeves usually hit at a bad point on the arms and often stick out making your body look wider than it is. Yes, you can have them altered to improve the look, but 99.99% of people don’t and that still doesn’t address all the other issues with them.

• They are boxy and shapeless (which describes exactly how you will look in one), so it does absolutely nothing to flatter your figure (mostly because you can’t see your figure) and it does not (let me repeat that…does not!) make you appear smaller by trying to hide things. In fact, it does just the opposite. Ooops, I suspect that wasn’t your intent!

• The color (if it has one – often they are worn in white or light gray) usually fades within a few washings.

• More and more they are made out of lightweight, flimsy cotton that is very unforgiving (and often much more revealing) so it totally undermines the intended effect of “let’s hide this body.”

So, some manufacturers have tried to update the style to make it more appealing – with mixed results. A few looks to avoid:

• Cap sleeves. An unflattering sleeve length on many women, both from a balance perspective and where they hit on your arm. Janet Wood (co-founder of the Fashion Fit Formula) says, “Non-puff cap sleeves can be successfully worn by teenagers with very toned arms, otherwise you are better off in a sleeveless top or with a short sleeve to your perfect pivotal point.”

• V-neckline. Usually a v-neck is more flattering but T-shirt companies often make the “V” too short so the balance is all wrong.

• Extreme fit. Now, instead of making them too baggy they are making them skin tight which is equally unflattering. Can we have a little balance here, please!

So, yes, T-shirts are cheap and easy, but are they worth it? Important note: Settling for something quick and easy at the expense of your personal satisfaction with how you look usually wears thin after awhile.

When buying a T-shirt, look for:

• Flattering Neckline: Generally a V-neck or Scoop.
• Sleeve Length: A short sleeve that hits below the widest part of your arm and doesn’t stick out, go 3/4 length sleeves, or sleeveless.
• Flattering Fit: Something that skims your body rather than swallowing it up or looking and feeling like it’s glued to you.
• Pattern: If a solid color is not your best look, try a fabulous pattern to distract the eye (it works wonders!).

Just today I realized the post office was about to close, and I had a whole pile of orders I needed to take there. I ran upstairs, threw on a pair of dark wash jeans and some fun sandals and a really great short sleeve T-shirt type top from Joseph Ribkoff. It has a v-neck and little bronze studs on the ruched sleeves which makes it unusual and fun to wear. I felt pulled together but super comfortable and casual.

If you’re not sure where to find great T-shirts, try Glima – something like this:

or how about one from Before and Again like this:

Their designs are a little bit wilder but they have a huge variety of color options.

And, here’s a little hint. If you have a hard time finding short sleeve T-shirts where the sleeve ends in a flattering place on your arm, buy one in a ¾ sleeve and have it cut to your perfect length.

Whatever you do, don’t let yourself settle for a big, baggy, shapeless T-shirt. You might have to branch out a bit and try new stores but it will be worth the time. Give it a try and make a commitment to yourself to feel good whether you are going to work or running errands. You’ll love how you feel!

Do you really think about what you wear to bed or are you so ready to crawl under the covers by the time you get undressed that you throw on the nearest soft thing and jump into bed? I have found that sleepwear tends to be one of those wardrobe concerns that doesn’t really register until you take a good, long look at what you are wearing for those eight (seven? six?) hours a day.

Maybe it’s perfect and you chose it with intention, or maybe it’s the nearest thing that is frayed and faded but serves the purpose, so to speak. After a long day, we might not be too picky about what we put on after a long day and our bed is calling sweetly. As long as it’s cozy on it goes.

So, let’s think about it now. What do you sleep in (provided you sleep in anything)? Do you give it much thought or do you throw on whatever is handy and clean? Believe me, I totally understand that nowhere is comfort more important than when you are sleeping. Would you agree? If you’ve ever been annoyed in the night by sleepwear that is binding, scratchy, stiff or aggravating in some way then you know what I mean.

It’s also true that very few people see you in your nightwear, so some of you might say who cares. But as you know, it’s first and foremost about how you feel in what you wear. Not only that but it’s another way of honoring yourself and celebrating your own natural beauty.

Will we all agree on what is beautiful and comfortable to sleep in? I doubt it. Just one peek in the stores and you’ll see that the choices are quite extensive.

Maybe I’m alone in this (although I doubt it) but what I sleep in is very important to me both in terms of my physical comfort and my esthetic delight. I’m a big believer in surrounding yourself in beauty (your personal definition of beauty) as much as possible and what could be sweeter than to envelop yourself in something beautiful while you rejuvenate through sleep?

I love nightgowns. I want beautiful, elegant, soft, pretty nightgowns. Not babydolls and not long sleeved flannel gowns. I’m sure there are people who love both of those but I prefer flowing, sleeveless, knee length or long (depending on the season) nightgowns. You wouldn’t think they would be so hard to find but it seems that everyone is wearing pajamas. But, here’s the important part, I don’t give up. I don’t settle for something I don’t love wearing. I keep looking and wear what I have in the meantime.

What about you? Are your jammies beautiful? Or, are you stuck in a sleepwear rut? Are you happy (both physically and esthetically) with what you have? In fact, have you recently taken a good long look at what you do wear to bed? Do you love it? If not, don’t despair, let’s look at some options to open up new possibilities.

Four things to consider when you are selecting your sleepwear:

1. Comfort: Obviously, you don’t want anything binding or stiff. It’s also important to be wary of elastics or details that might be uncomfortable. For instance, I bought a beautiful nightgown that had adjustable straps in the back. It seemed like a great idea when I bought it but the clip that made it adjustable kept hitting my shoulder blade and I’d wake up with a dent in my back! Not exactly cozy. I also once bought a nightgown that had lace around the neckline. I didn’t realize until after the first night that the lace was stiff and scratchy. That was the last time I wore that nightgown!

2. Fabric: This is definitely a personal preference. Cotton is one of the most popular because it’s a natural fiber and breathes. It’s soft and comfortable and cool in the summer (or if you experience hot flashes any time of the year). Plus, it’s machine washable. There are also special moisture-wicking fabrics that work well for those who get too hot when they sleep. Flannel has the added advantage of breathing and keeping you warm but obviously isn’t a good choice in the summer (unless you sleep in heavy duty air conditioning). I like the manmade fibers in the winter because they are warm and soft. So, there is something for everyone.

3. Personality: Do you feel like yourself when you wear your pj’s or like an imposter? When I put on a babydoll nightgown I don’t feel even remotely sexy (although judging by most lingerie stores, you’d think this was the most alluring choice). Instead, I feel like I’m about 12 years old – not exactly the pretty look or feel I’m going for. And, boy shorts with a little t-shirt don’t do it for me either. Both of those are perfectly acceptable choices for sleeping, and many women wear them. They just don’t resonate with me. It’s important that you choose a style that you love and makes you feel authentically you.

4. Care Instructions: While this is not usually a big problem with sleepwear, it is important to check to be sure the garment is not so delicate or poorly made that one wash will do it in.

Here are a few fun options I found on-line:

Are you, like me, a nightgown kind of gal? Here are some new ones I’m eyeing: This one is elegant and looks soft and cozy and, yay, it’s not a pastel. Click here for more information.

How fun is this one for someone who wants something that makes a bit more of a statement! Click here for more information.

And, in the summer when it’s hot (we don’t have air conditioning in our house), cotton is great because it doesn’t stick to you. How cute is this one (click here for more information):

What if you prefer pajamas? Sometimes I walk through the lingerie department and feel like I’m in the men’s pajama section. Some women really look totally fabulous in these and look amazing. If that’s true, go for it. Here’s a great pair which a lot of choices in fabric colors and patterns (click here for more information):

If you like something a little more feminine and frilly, try this one in a pretty color. It looks so soft and yummy (click here for more information):

And, I just couldn’t resist showing you this one (click here for more information):

So, whether you want to feel down-to-earth, cozy, sexy, sweet or a little exotic, and no matter what your budget, there’s something out there for everyone. The important thing is that you love what you wear even when it’s in the middle of the night – your dreams will be sweeter!

Stiff, restrictive, scratchy, heavy, fussy…yikes! Is there anything appealing about that? I don’t think so. Gone are those days when we’d suck it in and make it fit all the while wishing we were home in our jammies! Now, we want the comfort of polar fleece without sacrificing style. While that might be pushing it a bit, comfort really doesn’t have to be as elusive as we think. Sadly, however, many women have given up on having it all, so to speak, and have settled for comfort over beauty.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I love polar fleece as much as the next woman, and I certainly have my fair share of them (in beautiful colors, I might add) to wear around the house in the winter. But, when it comes to stepping foot outside my home, they don’t see the light of day.

I’ve also become less and less captivated by fashion at all costs, and by costs I mean discomfort. Remember the old idea that you have to suffer for beauty. I don’t buy it anymore! Believe me, I wore my fair share of restrictive pantyhose in the 1980’s and walked way too far in heels that were meant more for standing than moving. Now, while I still love high heels, I’m much more selective about which ones I choose and when and where I wear them.

What I have seen and heard, however, is that women are sacrificing their personal style – their outer expression of their own uniqueness and beauty – for the sake of comfort. They don’t see how they can have both and after trying unsuccessfully for a while, they give up. Then they feel bored, frumpy, old or invisible but they don’t know how to satisfy their need for cozy ease and beauty.

(NOTE: And, please know that when I speak of beauty I am referring to your own personal definition of beauty (even if you can’t articulate it clearly now) and how it relates to the clothing and style choices you make – not some elusive, ridiculous standard of beauty that the popular culture tries to push on us.)

So, that said, how do you add comfort and beauty to your wardrobe? These 5 tips will help you reframe your comfy vs. beautiful conundrum:

1. Define what is beautiful to you. This is sometimes one of the hardest steps for women to do — often because they don’t even know what the possibilities are. This is where exploring a bit can benefit you or just stepping outside your comfort zone (so to speak) when you are trying things on. Remember, you don’t have to buy something just because you try it on. You can always say no thank you and put it back on the rack. Visit a new store (perhaps one you’ve eyed from outside but haven’t ever gone into) or try on a style you never would have in the past. If it doesn’t work, just chuckle to yourself and put it back. If it does work or at least intrigues you, explore it further.

2. Add Stretch: Since they’ve started adding lycra or elastane to everything clothes have become so much more comfortable. My most favorite designer, Joseph Ribkoff (note to Mr. Ribkoff – please make more colors and less black!) puts stretch in absolutely everything. I can be totally dressed up and be super comfortable when I wear his clothes. (And, none of it (not even the jackets) need to be dry cleaned!)

Let me give you an example. I never, ever wore jeans until they added stretch to them a few years back. Now I find them so much more user-friendly. That said, they still aren’t always as cozy as your yoga pants. If you’re looking for a pair that you can feel put-together in and still feel comfy, try the jeans pictured above. Click here for more information. They are super comfortable and because there is no zipper the front stays nice and flat. (Please note that they tend to run a bit short so for those of you over 5’6 you might have to wear flats with them.)

3. Set a New Intention. If you always assume you won’t find anything that feels fashionable and comfortable then you won’t. It’s that simple. As the old adage goes, if you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right. So, if this is true for you, simply flipping the switch in your mind can make all the difference. Create a new affirmation such as, “More and more I find beautiful, fun clothes that I feel good in when I’m running errands.” Do it often and watch for signs it’s working. If you need to try it on something simpler first. You’ll be amazed!

4. Let Go of: It’s TOO _________ to Wear Everyday. So many women I work with say (at first), “I can’t wear that to run to the grocery store. It’s too dressy.” Or, “It cost too much to wear around the house.” But, think about it for a minute. If it is just sitting in your closet waiting for the right time for you to wear it you are really wasting your money. Sure, this way of thinking might not change overnight but perhaps this will give you some food for thought. If cost is an issue, then try this. Get a pretty dress from a lesser-priced store like Dress Barn and wear it even when you’re cooking (and yes, you can always wear an apron over it)! Click here for more information. Or, I often go to Nordstrom Rack and pick up some fun, comfy, jersey dresses in great colors that I wear around the house when it’s hot. Who says you have to be in shorts and a t-shirt.

5. Take One Baby Step at a Time. If you are reading this thinking, “I don’t know where to start,” then take a deep breath (or 2 or 3) and do just one thing to get started. For instance, if you’re a shorts and t-shirt kind of gal right now, then find a new style t-shirt. Buy just one and see how you feel. Try a Glima T-shirt. Click here for more information. Instead of the square boxy T-shirt with a universally unflattering neckline, you get one in a nice cotton fabric, with pretty colors and a beautiful neckline. I have several of these that I wear at home and to go to our neighborhood café. Here’s a tip: If you prefer short sleeve, just take this to your tailor and have the sleeves cut to the length you like.

Want more help learning techniques to identify what works for you and what doesn’t? Register for my ‘Your Style, Your Way’ workshop coming up on Saturday, June 2. It’s only $325 for a full day with me transforming the way you think about your wardrobe (payment plans also available). You’ll never approach shopping the same way again! But, wait, use this coupon code YSYW10 to take 10% off.

I bet you think I’m going to talk about your hair, don’t you? So many women are contemplating letting their locks go naturally gray and some are even doing it (and looking great!). I’m all for it if you feel good about it. But, that’s not what I’m here to talk to you about today.

One day, not too long ago, I was standing in line in New York City waiting to place my lunch order. With not much to do except look around (and gawk at the sheer number of people waiting to order and the efficiency with which the restaurant was handling the crowds), I did a little people-watching.

It will come as no surprise to you, I am sure, that I am always curious about what people are wearing. On this particular day, there had to be at least 30 people in line and about two-thirds of them were women. It shocked me to notice that every person (men and women) was wearing either gray or black. Yes, every single person! Not one person was wearing another color. Not one!

Well, that’s New York City for you, you might say. Maybe, but let me assure you that sadly the black/gray epidemic has spread beyond the Big Apple. When I gave a presentation to 140 young business women in the Boston area, ninety-eight percent of those in the audience were wearing black or gray (perhaps there was a smattering of navy blue but you get the idea). It was startlingly noticeable.

So, here’s what I’m wondering…Why?

Of course, I hear all the reasons from the women I work with but let’s really look at what gray and black are doing for you…or not doing for you, as the case may be. Let’s start with black because there is so much of it out there and everyone assumes it’s a great neutral.

1. Black goes with everything.

This is generally true if black looks good on you and you are wearing all your best colors with it (which are probably pretty strong colors). But, if your most flattering colors are soft and you try to mix them with black all eyes will be drawn automatically to the black because it will be too harsh compared to the colors that look best on you.

And, let me just say this about black. If it isn’t one of your best colors (and your best colors are based on your hair color, eye color, skin color and your personality) wearing black will naturally drain you, and I’m not just talking about color-wise. Black is very powerful and intense, and it will, if it’s not your best color, stifle your natural joy and radiance.

2. Black doesn’t show dirt.

True enough but there are lots of other beautiful dark colors that will do the same thing. So find the one(s) that look great on you, and they will hide a multitude of sins just as well as black does and often look more flattering.

3. Black is slimming.

Again, who cares if it’s slimming if the overall color is harsh and draining. Other deeper colors will do the same thing. And, guess what, even shades of white will work on you when the outfit is well balanced and in your most flattering colors. (I know the thought of wearing shades of white scares a lot of women so just keep breathing…). Creating a slimming effect is not just about color, by any means.

4. Black is a neutral.

For some it is. But for others it’s not. While some stylists believe that a neutral is a neutral, I don’t. I know that everyone has two or three great neutrals they can wear that work beautifully with their natural coloring and blend well with their best colors. They could include brown, navy, gray, black, camel, cream, and white. This creates a seamless look and gives you lots of ways to play with it without worrying about trying to make a color “work.” Who needs or wants that extra stress?

5. Black is easy.

While there is truth to this it’s mostly because the designers throw so much black (and gray) at us that you can build an entire wardrobe all in black in about 20 minutes. Will it be easy? Yes. Will it be satisfying and delicious? Usually not. As you begin to integrate more of your fabulous colors into your wardrobe, an all black outfit (unless black is really one of your absolute best colors) will lose its appeal.

In many women’s closets black is there for all the reasons above, and it’s no wonder that when they get dressed, they easily find an outfit that is “good enough” or “easy” but that feels lacking in personality. Why end up with an entire wardrobe of “good enough” when you can have (and deserve) so much more?

Now let’s look at gray for a minute, too.

For a couple of years now, gray has been the “new black,” and as a result many women have entire wardrobes created around this color. It felt refreshing to them after so much black, but they were hoodwinked into believing that everyone can wear it well and were told that’s because “it’s a neutral.” Yikes! Light gray only looks good on a tiny fraction of people but huge numbers of women are actually wearing it. Charcoal gray is slightly better but then it just comes close to black. Like any color, if it looks good on you then it’s amazing and that makes it a great neutral, otherwise leave it on the rack. (And, if you’re not sure, steer clear!)

I often hear women say, “But gray looks decent on me.” Be careful of this. In most situations, ‘decent’ is synonymous with “good enough,” and that is a far cry from awesome. There was so much gray in the stores that it made buying it easy but, again, this is not a way to build a lasting and delicious wardrobe. As Cheryl Richardson says, always pass up good for great!

It is never worth it to settle for colors you don’t love and that don’t look beautiful on you. Ninety-nine percent of the time you can find at least some of your best colors in the stores (or wait 2 weeks and new shipments of clothes come in in new colors and you can look again). Do this long enough (even in those seasons when the color choices are challenging), and you’ll have a complete (and beautiful) wardrobe. The more you hold firm and select only the colors that look great on you, the better chance you will have of creating a wardrobe you absolutely love. Give in too often and you end up with a ‘decent’ wardrobe – that doesn’t sound particularly inspiring or fun, does it!

This is one of the key steps in creating a beautiful wardrobe, and there’s very little “gray” area here.

Not sure what colors look best on you? Find a color expert (not someone who does colors by the seasons) and have your own personal palette created. It will be one of the best steps you’ve ever taken toward a fabulous wardrobe. For more information about what a consultation with me looks like, go here: http://totalimageconsultants.com/services/personal/color-analysis/

I occasionally receive calls from men looking for fashion advice. I can see that this is a growing trend and while I do not have any plans to do image consulting for men (other than color analysis for the men in my clients’ lives) I know that they have questions and are looking for guidance, too.

Recently, I have found a couple of wonderful resources for men and I’d like to share one with you now as well as a few very basic fashion tips to help guide men to make good choices.

Men can benefit, too, from basic style guidelines and fashion advice for men (some will sound familiar) when it comes to professional dress. Here are four steps to consider:

Step 1: Select a foundational item that grounds the entire look-suit, sportcoat, pants. If you are going with a neutral, always, use your best neutral colors: black, gray, navy, brown, taupe. Otherwise, choose a piece that is interesting and you love.

Step 2: Select a complementary shirt

• Shirt color should complement the suit (I’m sure you’re not surprised I mentioned color since it’s always one of my number 1 tips!)
• If you are mixing patterns, the sizes should be on a different scale. For example, a larger plaid patterned suit can be paired with smaller checked shirt and vice versa.
• Styling should remain consistent with his look and persona. Classic with classic, modern with modern, etc. Also, when it comes to the collar there are some basic rules of thumb. The collar frames his face, holds his tie and shows his “look.” Wider faces look best with narrower collars while narrow faces can a carry wider spread or cutaway collar. (Remember, a wide collar on a wide face will make his face look even wider. The narrower collar adds balance.) He can claim one style as his own, or choose different styles for different shirts depending on the occasion he is wearing them for.

Step 3: Select a complementary necktie to accentuate the look (the same three rules apply with color, pattern and style).

Step 4: Accessorize the look. Give your look a finishing detail such as cufflinks, a tie bar (functional and decorative) or a pocket square along with a nice belt that coordinates with your shoes. Remember, it’s the accessories that can add polish or an extra touch of personality.

Many women can identify with the overwhelm that comes with creating a look, and while it is clearly easier on many levels for men to make those choices they, too, sometimes still struggle or (does this sound familiar?) fall back on what is easy and safe.

Not only that but often fit is an issue, especially with shirts. When they buy to fit their neck, the sleeves can then be too long or too short or it can be too tight or too loose in the chest or belly. Having a shirt that fits to his proportions will make him look and feel dashing and who wouldn’t want that!

That’s where Jennifer Hardock of J. Hilburn comes in. I have personally experienced her services and this is something every man will love! Shirts made to his specific proportions. Wow! The fit is perfect, and he gets to choose the fabric, collar style, cuffs, and placard.

It gets better! She comes to your home or his office so he can personally select all of the details mentioned above. No more running to the store trying to find what works in the colors he wants. It’s easy and convenient.

I’ve been so impressed that I just had to share this. And, Jennifer encouraged me to offer you a special coupon for $50 off his first selection (shirts typically run between $89 and $159 so this savings is awesome!). Here’s the link (yes, this is real and if you prefer I send it to you directly I can do that, too): http://jhilburn.extole.com/a/clk/4VKvj1. This savings is so great I wouldn’t want you to miss it.

If you’re in the Boston area, Jennifer will be holding a trunk show on Thursday, April 12th from noon to 9 pm at the Liberty Hotel (Ebersol Presidential Suite). You can contact Jennifer at jenniferh@verizon.net.

As you know, having a wardrobe you love builds your self-confidence and just plain feels great! It’s the same for men (even if they don’t say it), and it makes a wonderful birthday or early Father’s Day gift as well.

Boring!  Blah!  Unexciting!  Same old same old!

This is how so many women describe their wardrobes to me.  They are stuck in a rut and can’t see beyond the black pants, white tank top and basic cardigan or blazer (or the equivalent).  Nothing feels inspiring or special.

This doesn’t mean that you have to wear the latest trend(s), crazy color combinations, or humongous jewelry…unless, of course, that suits your personality and lifestyle.  It’s more about stepping out, testing the waters a bit, being a little adventurous and above all being absolutely true to who you are (figuring that part out is part of a much bigger discussion so let’s assume for now that you know who you are deep down inside or at least can guess a bit!).

Now that you have that picture of the super duper basic outfit in mind, let’s talk about how to take a baby step and add some personality and a touch of pizzazz.  While there are countless ways to do that, there are a few key components to consider that will be helpful.

Evaluate your outfit for these elements and choose at least one to amp up the pizzazz factor on an existing “boring” outfit:

Texture

When you pair smooth with smooth with smooth, there is nothing to catch the eye (and this is especially true when it’s all in neutral colors).  Here’s an idea:

This season crocheted tops (with a tank underneath) are hot and can be very pretty if it’s something that appeals to you.  It immediately adds visual interest because of the fun texture and when worn in a great color for you is simple and fun! Click here for more information.

Prints

If you love prints and have been waiting for beautiful ones to grace the stores, you are in for a delicious surprise.  This season is one of the best I’ve ever seen for prints.  Not only because there are lots of them but also because there are lots of different kinds of prints so there’s something for everyone – florals, watercolors, techy digital prints, animal print, geometrics, stripes, tribal and much more.  While I often discourage women from wearing a print head to toe (it can often be too overwhelming!), a little bit of a print can be just the antidote for a dull wardrobe.;

Here’s an example of a pretty watercolor print:

I could have shown you ten or twenty different beautiful prints in tops, dresses and even pants.  See something you like, don’t wait!  Grab it while you can! Click here for more information.

Accessories

This is the place where many women get overwhelmed.  How do you know what works?  What texture, size, color and how many pieces do you wear at once?  No wonder they skip this step.  But, if this sounds familiar, you are missing out!  One client (and she’s certainly not alone) recently said to me that she had no idea how much she needed jewelry to complete her outfits.  Once you venture out with success you’ll never go back to being unadorned!  It’s such a fun way to add personal expression in to your wardrobe.

Let me be very clear that this does not mean that you have to wear lots of jewelry or really large pieces.  That is all very personal and also dictated (to some extent) by the outfit you are wearing and the occasion.  But, you won’t know what works for you or makes your heart sing until you try.

Hint: The next time you go shopping wear the outfit you want to accessorize and play.  See what you like.  Experiment with what looks good and take off what you don’t like.

For instance, this is a very nice sweater on its own, but it definitely needs a little something to make it special (click here for more information):

What happens when you add this necklace? (click here for more information):

Every time you change your jewelry (even when you are wearing the same basic outfit) you change the mood and create an entirely new feel to the outfit.

Start slow.  If this is new, play with one concept at a time and add it to your basic wardrobe.  You’ll be amazed at how it can inspire you each morning as you get dressed and, as with any new habit, the more you do it the more it will feel familiar and natural.

Most of all, have fun!

When I saw my mom at Christmas she came bearing a large box. I shook my head. We had talked about this and had agreed no gifts were expected! So, my first words to her were, “You weren’t supposed to bring anything!” Just having her visit us was such a special treat that we were not expecting another gift. Of course, no one has ever been able to tell my mom what to do, and I saw immediately that this was no exception!

We had no idea what could be in this box (it weighed quite a bit) and so were surprised and delighted to find it full of her prized china teacup collection. For many years we have admired it when we visited, and I know how much she enjoyed them.

They are beautiful and delicate. So, after a million heartfelt thank you’s, I turned to my mom and said, “You know we’ll use these, right? We won’t just put them on display.” We make it a habit to drink out of pretty teacups nearly every day and have for over 20 years so there is no way these will sit on a shelf somewhere.

Why am I telling you this? Because I see that happening with women’s clothes and accessories all the time. Their prized possessions sit in a box or are sequestered in the back of the closet for years (and sometimes decades) never seeing the light of day.

Let’s talk about this a bit, okay? Do you have items that you are “saving” because they have sentimental value, are “too pretty to wear,” are timeless, or cost a lot of money? I know this is a sticky conversation because it’s so personal and these items hold such a prized place in our hearts or memories.

Let me share my experience with you on this topic and see if this helps you to think about it differently. Here are 3 reasons to stop saving those items and use them now:

1. The Big What If… The biggest fear people have around using something they cherish (or simply delight in) is that they might ruin it. So, here’s the truth: yes, you might ruin it. We know that there is a definite possibility that we could break one of the teacups when we use them. Nine times out of ten (maybe 9.99 times out of 10!) this won’t happen. As I mentioned, we’ve been using these delicate teacups for 20 years and haven’t broken a single one yet (and, horrors of all horrors, we even put them in the dishwasher!).

But, we do get to delight in using them every day and nothing can take away our memories of how they feel, how beautiful they look on the table and how much we enjoy drinking from them. Somehow having them sit in a box somewhere or getting dusty on a shelf just doesn’t hold the same magic.

(Sure, some things are not wearable and are treasured memories from a special person in your life. I am not talking about delicate slips from 1900 or a hand-beaded heirloom evening bag that needs to be preserved properly – although I still believe they should have a place of prominence and distinction. Rather I’m talking about those special items you keep looking at but are afraid to use.)

2. The Myth of Timelessness. Very few (really, very few!) garments are truly timeless. There I said it. Even if you disagree (I’ll talk more in-depth about this another time), there’s a much bigger concern here. In general, you do not need your clothes to last 10 or 15+ years. Clothes are made to be worn and if you like your clothes well enough that’s exactly what you will do – hopefully with enough regularity that they will eventually wear out after having served you well. If, however, you save them for only those special moments…not only do you not get to enjoy them the way you should but you run the risk of finding out they are not as timeless as you thought when you finally get around to wearing them.

3. Nowhere To Wear It. This one is actually the easiest. First of all, it helps you determine if you really love it. If you do, you will be excited by the idea of being able to wear it more often. If you don’t really love it you’ll keep finding a reason not to put it on.

Here’s a little exercise:

• Identify a garment or accessory that you have been saving for one of the reasons listed above.
• When you think about using it, do you get excited? If so, continue on to #3. If not, see if you can figure out why. That will help you determine if you should pack it away or give it away – or maybe it just needs some repair or the right accessory. Whatever information you can glean will help you know what the next step is to take.
• Find a time to wear it –within the next week! Maybe it means making a plan to go out to dinner with your husband when you can wear that pretty dress you’ve been saving (even if it is just to the local eatery). Don’t be surprised, however, if things change. Recently, a client told me that she and her husband had plans to go out to dinner to a simple, casual restaurant close by. She decided she just had to wear a gorgeous dress and amazing necklace we had gotten during our shopping trip. When she came downstairs all dressed, her husband took one look at her and said, “Wow! We’re going to the Four Seasons for dinner instead.”Or, perhaps you call your girlfriends and suggest a girls’ night out at your place where everyone wears something she’s been saving. Or, maybe it just means taking a few minutes to switch handbags (in the one you bought 6 months ago but haven’t gotten around to using yet).

As you’re reading this, your mind is probably spinning thinking of all the long forgotten garments or accessories you have tucked away that never see the light of day. This is the perfect opportunity – the new year is fast approaching. Stop saving those items of beauty for a special occasion. In most of our lives, those times just don’t come around often enough, so we have to make them. It can be easier than you think to integrate them into your current wardrobe so you enjoy them (and others get to vicariously through you) through all of the upcoming year and beyond.

As a girl I was mesmerized by the popular television show, “Gilligan’s Island” – for obvious reasons…I loved watching Ginger — “the movie star.” Here she was deserted on an uninhabited island and yet she seemed to have an endless supply of stunning gowns, her hair was always perfectly coiffed, and her makeup was flawless. Her “lounging around the house…um, I mean island” clothes were not what most of us think of as comfy. She always looked glamorous. Silly, yes. Engaging, yes. Realistic, nope!

More recently, I have been watching reruns of the old “Dick Van Dyke Show.” Oh, my goodness…what a different world it was then. Rob and Laura would have their next door neighbors over for dinner, and they’d all be decked out in cocktail dresses and the men in suits! I’m not sure any of them owned a pair of jeans (or dungarees as they were probably referred to then).

Times have certainly changed! I suspect that your “relax around the house” outfit doesn’t resemble the movie star’s clothes or even Laura Petrie’s. I know mine don’t. I’ve lost count of the number of women who tell me theirs consists of old, stained sweatpants or baggy jeans with an oversized T-shirt or layers of ill-fitting polar fleece in unflattering colors, or, some variation thereof. Does any of that ring a bell?

I completely understand, and to be totally honest, I’m always on the lookout for fun, pretty, comfy things I can wear around the house and not feel like a total frump. Because this is such a constant concern for so many women, here are 5 tips to consider for your ‘at home’ wardrobe:

1. Manage the Dirt Factor. So many women say to me, “But I cook, clean, walk the dogs, do some gardening…in my at home clothes so they can’t cost a lot or look too fancy.” Here’s a radical thought… just because something gets dirty does not mean you have to discard it. Sure, you might not want to spend major dollars on something you could drip spaghetti sauce on (that’s also what aprons are for), but it just means you buy clothes that are washable. These T-shirts, for example, come in fun colors, are made of soft cotton and, considering I’ve had some for years, seem to be practically indestructible:
   Plus, they often have sales on them so you can pick up your favorites for less. (Click here for more information).
2. Feeling Yucky Weighs On Your Psyche. Have you ever caught a glimpse of yourself in a mirror at home and thought, “Yikes, I’m so glad no one can see me this way!” Sure, our home should be our sanctuary, but it’s also a place we go to feel happy, supported, relaxed and connected. While you don’t have to wear your fanciest finery (trust me, I don’t!) you do want to feel content in your own skin. (Kudos to those of you who can feel grounded and happy no matter what you are wearing.) For the rest of us, a little extra attention to this part of our lives makes a huge difference.
3. Fashion Rules Still Apply. Okay, before you get mad at me, hear me out. The fashion rules I’m talking about are personal to you:
   • Choose colors that flatter you.
   • Fit is still important. (You might think I’m crazy but when I bought a zip-up polar fleece jacket in a gorgeous teal color from LL Bean, it was way too big (and they didn’t have a smaller size). So, I took it to my tailor and had it taken in on the sides and the sleeves taken in, too. Yup, I never wore this outside the house but I needed to feel good in it. And, I wore it so much I definitely got my money’s worth from it.)
   • Dress for your personality –let that special inner you shine through even in fun, comfy, cozy clothes. It doesn’t have to be an either/or situation.
4. Try Something New. It is SO easy to get set in our ways about what feels good and what doesn’t. If you have been wearing the same “at home” outfit for what seems like forever, then maybe it’s time to explore new options. You just might be surprised! For instance, I have recently discovered fleece-lined leggings (click here for more information):
   
   They are totally amazing! No binding at the waist (a pet peeve of mine) and they are soft, sleek and warm. I’ve recently even found them in dark brown at a store up the street from me (let me know if you want the name). I pair them with this fun top (in brown)
   
   and it’s super cozy, sleek and casual. (Click here for more information)
5. What You Wear At Home Stays At Home. My stay-at-home clothes are just that. I’m not embarrassed if friends come over or I will run to the mailbox or shovel snow, but they are not what I wear when I’m out and about.

Remember, this is not about being a “fashion plate” (or movie star) at home, and it’s really not so much about fashion rules. It’s about what makes you feel happy. I have learned over the years that so many women feel drab, frumpy or messy at home and wish they had a “uniform” to wear about the house that they feel good in but that doesn’t require them to sacrifice comfort. It’s very doable. It just takes a bit of focus and intention. Use these tips above to help you identify what works for you and most of fall, have fun!

Important: Even when no one else will see you don’t settle for something that feels “not horrible” – a common sentiment I hear from my clients. Allow your inner beauty to resonate in your cozy clothes as much as in your out and about wardrobe, and you won’t believe how delicious that feels!

Jackets are arguably one of the most underrated garments in our wardrobe. What’s your jacket story? Do you wear them? Do you have some but they just hang in your closet? Do you only wear them to work but can’t imagine that you’d want to wear one casually? Do you love them…hate them…aren’t sure?

I regularly hear all kinds of reasons why someone doesn’t wear one. These reasons often include one of these:

• “Every jacket I’ve ever tried feels stiff and uncomfortable.”
• “Blazers are boring and old-fashioned.”
• “Jackets just seem too formal. Where I work everyone is casual.”

I have to share that I am a huge (yes, huge) fan of jackets personally. For those of you on the fence or just curious about my fascination with this particular garment, I’d like to share why jackets are so fabulous!

1. They Hide a Multitude Of Sins (as my mom would say). Isn’t this just the best reason! Whatever is going on under a jacket is a mystery to everyone but you. Lumps, bumps, extra tummy, fuller hips, wiggly arms…no one else can see it.

2. They Keep You Warm. This is a key component for me because I’m always cold. A jacket adds warmth without feeling like I’m the abominable snowman (like I sometimes feel in bulky sweaters). And, for someone who runs hot and cold or goes from inside to outside a lot, a jacket is a must because it allows you to easily adjust to the temperature changes.

3. They Add an Extra Ounce of Authority. Do you work in a male dominated field or one where you are in a managerial or supervisory role? Wearing a jackets adds visual authority. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about authority as a way of being intimidating or an abuse of power. It’s more about lending an air of self-confidence so you hold your head higher. It can add structure to an outfit and a feeling of purposefulness.

4. They Add Visual Interest to an Outfit. Want to add spice to a simple blouse and pair of pants? Adding a fabulous jacket is one way of bringing a bit more personality and flair to the outfit. It doesn’t have to be over the top – again, it’s all about expressing who you are and what makes you happy.

5. They Create Illusion. Have you ever put on a top and pants and thought…yikes, all I see is my belly. Or, perhaps you notice that you have a straight figure (no noticeable waist definition). Maybe your shoulders are a bit narrow and sloped so all you see are your hips. Whatever the situation, a jacket is a miracle-worker. There are days when I feel like I have all three of those situations going on on my body at once! A jacket can create curve where I want it and boost my shoulders when I need it. Whew! What a perfect garment.

Here’s a special fashion tip: If you do not have well-defined waist, here’s a little trick that can give you the waist you never had (or lost) – especially for those of you who have been avoiding belts. Wear a jacket and then belt the top underneath so all you see (when the jacket is unbuttoned) is the belt buckle and a little bit of the belt on either side. No one else can tell if your waist is big, little, thick or thin. They just know you have one because the belt gives the illusion of a waist. It’s like magic!

Jackets do not have to be ho-hum or stiff. These days they come in all fabrics and designs, and range from casual to trendy and from sophisticated to outrageous. You get to choose the right flavor for your personality and the occasion. Plus, so many of them now come with stretch in them that it’s almost impossible not to be comfy!

Here are a few ideas – just know that the possibilities are endless:

Want a little drama?

Click here for more information.

This one has a feminine feel, is longer and is kind of a cross between a jacket and a sweater:

Click here for more information.

How about a fun and flirty but casual jacket:

Click here for more information.

These are just a few ideas to help you think beyond the traditional blazer to jackets that work for different aspects of your life. There is something out there for everyone. Just keep in mind your coloring, body shape, lifestyle and personality and have fun picking and choosing.

Do you have a favorite jacket? Please feel free to share with us in the comments section.