It’s spring.  Well, at least it is in the stores even if the weather is telling you something different.  A sea of bright colors greets you as you enter any clothing store, and this alone is enough to send some women into a tizzy.

A couple of days ago I was shopping with a client in a department store.  As we headed out into the racks of clothes she looked at me with a faint smile and said, “How do you know where to begin?  My eyes keep darting in a million different directions and I feel totally overwhelmed.”  I calmed her fears and assured her I would help her navigate the store.  I also know that so many women share the same feeling of anxiety when they go shopping for clothes, and since we are about to enter a new shopping season this topic is very timely.

That said, I am not going to address all the ins and outs of shopping successfully (you can read about that in my newly released book, That’s So You! where I devote an entire chapter to this topic.

But I do want to touch on three specific shopping habits that can keep you stuck and frustrated as you shop and even more discouraged when you get dressed every day.  Change these habits and you will change your wardrobe forever.

Here are three confessions I hear from women all the time.  Let’s look at them and see if they ring true for you.  If so, this is a great opportunity to release those old habits and start fresh:

1. “I have been shopping at __________ store(s) for the past 5/10/15 years.”  If you are shopping at the same places you did ten years ago and are no longer having any luck, the culprit is one of two things.  It could be that the store is now identifying with a different demographic–sometimes they have a new buyer who is taking them in a new direction.  If it is not the store then it must be you.  This is not a bad thing, it’s just life.  Like it or not, as the years pass, our bodies shift, our lifestyles evolve and there is no doubt that we get older each year.  It could also be that the store is still a good choice for you, but you don’t know how to switch your focus to find those more suitable options.  No matter what, it eventually requires a different way of looking at your wardrobe and it will affect your shopping experience.  There comes a point when if you keep shopping in the same places without getting the results you want, buying clothes will continue to be an exercise in futility and frustration.

We also tend to believe that we should be able to shop at xyz store because everyone else does or it used to be great or they talk about it in magazines or television.  What happens then is that you stop looking for new stores to explore, especially if shopping is not an experience you enjoy.  And, hey, can’t everyone shop at Marshalls, Macy’s or Talbots?  Not necessarily.  One of my clients told me that her husband thinks I’m wonderful because now they don’t have to stop at every Marshalls they pass.  She used to go in because she was searching for ways to complete her wardrobe and the lower cost appealed to her (and felt less scary if she made a mistake) and, as a result, she would often buy things because of the price rather than the value it contributed to her wardrobe.  Now that she has a wardrobe she loves she still shops occasionally at Marshalls, but she does it strategically and because it feels fun rather than out of desperation.

Just ask Wendy Yellen (www.EideticLifeCoach.com) about the value of finding a great store.  While working with the ‘Who Taught You How to Dress?’ coaching program (www.whotaughtyouhowtodress.com), she learned the value of venturing into a few smaller boutique stores in her local area.  In her exploration she was delighted to find one that fit her style exactly.  Who knew!  She shared with me that, “Because of your encouragement, I actually now have a ‘favorite store’ and, unbelievably, people regularly—and often—ask me where I shop and tell me how great I look. Even better, I FEEL great about how I look!”  This one step changed her life.

A common concern is that boutiques are too expensive, but, as Wendy discovered, if you make wise choices there is a good chance you won’t spend any more than you used to.  You might have fewer clothes, but you will wear everything rather than having a lot of unworn garments hanging in your closet.  As you get to know the women who work at the store there is a good chance they will make sure you are the first to know about upcoming sales.  And, this might surprise you, but not all boutiques carry expensive lines of clothing.  Some actually have a low-moderate price point and some have a wide range of prices so there’s something for every budget.  Finding a store(s) you love can be life changing for you, too.  You get a wardrobe you feel great wearing, nothing hangs in your closet unworn, and you spend much less time shopping because you know where to shop.

Let me also say that it does not have to be a boutique that is your new go-to store.  It can be a consignment shop, a department store, a designer store, a big box store or even a thrift store—or a combination of some of the above.  It is just a matter of doing a little research in the beginning to find the places (one to four stores) that make you happy.

2. “I never try things on.”  This is a huge admission.  I know that many women dislike shopping so much that they swoop into a store, grab a few things that look promising or familiar and head home.  Or, they order online almost exclusively because it means they do not have to go anywhere near a store.  Once home they eventually try things on and too often they find themselves either trying too hard to make something work when clearly it is not ideal or they disappointingly acknowledge that the item doesn’t work, but then, with their busy lives, they often forget to return it.  It also means that they are less likely to branch out and try something new because it might not look good and then it is one more thing they have to return.  When your goal is to stay out of the stores as much as possible, the idea of venturing in even to return something takes a backseat to almost anything else in your life.

The problem is that waiting until you get home to try things on does not allow you as much freedom to explore and entertain new possibilities so you are more likely to stay stuck wearing a version of the same thing all the time.

I know what you’re thinking, “I never find anything new that I like.  Everything is too young, too old or just plain ugly and so it’s a lot easier to stay with what feels safe and easy.”  The problem is that this often means that you don’t feel inspired or excited about your wardrobe either.  Not that you have to be a fashionista, by any means, but every woman deserves to feel great about how she looks.

When you think about shopping for clothes, I’m sure you can come up with about six million things you would rather do or that feel more pressing, but if you choose a store you enjoy and schedule enough time so you don’t feel rushed and can actually try clothes on while you are there, you might be surprised at what new possibilities open up.  Why not take a deep breath and make a commitment (and actually schedule it) to expand your shopping experience?  You just might find yourself sighing with relief!

3. “I buy pieces when I find them.”  This certainly sounds innocent enough, but this one behavior can wreak more havoc on your wardrobe—and psyche—than the other two combined.  If you have orphaned pieces sitting unworn in your closet then it is well worth taking a look at this shopping habit.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with buying a spectacular piece here or there and even better when you can get it on sale.  The problem arises when you get it home and realize that, although you love it and are excited about wearing it, you cannot—no matter how hard you try—make a complete outfit out of it.  I know. I know.  Your intentions are to find something that you like so you can wear it, but for right now, it’s a lonely piece sitting there teasing you and begging to be worn.

Here’s the thing… the time to think about whether you can make it into a complete outfit is before you buy it.  Before heading to the checkout counter, mentally rummage through your closet and think about what will work with it.  Be specific.  If you cannot think of at least two items you already own that can finish it, then leave it at the store or buy the rest of the outfit (provided you love it) right then and there.  Yes, I know this takes discipline and focus, but it is worth it.

Do this exercise before you purchase another orphaned item: Take a minute and add up all the money you have spent on things you do not wear because you couldn’t figure out how to make them work and then allow that to inspire you to adopt this new shopping habit.  It will never let you down.

And, if you need more guidance, check out my hot-off-the-press book, That’s So You! and take a look at the section entitled, “Unworn Clothing: Love It or Let It Go” (just one of many that will help you) for inspiration and support.

Those of us who are just coming out of the cold, snowy season are looking forward to spring, and from the looks of clothing flooding into the stores it will be a bright and cheerful season for sure!  Color (mostly bright) is everywhere and high contrast reigns (oops, not good for everyone).   It is always fun to take a peek at the trends and invite one or two into your wardrobe.  The key is to choose wisely for your body type, personality and lifestyle.  My seasonal ‘Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered’ column will help you tag a few possible favorites to explore.  Have fun!

Bewitched

Color: Color is everywhere starting with greens (especially emerald), watery blues, jeweled purples (which we normally only see in the fall so this is exciting for those who want some depth to their color) and, of course, the seemingly perennial orange/tangerine spring hype.  While I personally can wear orange, it’s not everyone’s best choice.  That said, there will be something for everyone and that’s what makes me happy.

Asian influence:  The past few years we have seen a lot of tribal designs on the fashion scene, and they are still there.  But, this season we are seeing much more Asian influence and it can be worn by everyone.  Go full-out and get a Kimono style jacket or perhaps keep it a bit more understated with a beautiful Asian-inspired floral jacquard print like this dress (Click here for shopping information)L

Stripes: Stripes are one of those patterns that women approach with trepidation, especially horizontal stripes.  I’m here to suggest that not all stripes are bad.  Nearly everyone can find a stripe they like even if it’s not the typical black and white or navy and white nautical stripe we think of first.  I cover more about stripes in my new book, “That’s So You!,” which will be released this month.  For now, take a look at this pretty wavy stripe option (Click here for shopping information).

Lace & Macramé:  Add a touch of lightness and texture to your wardrobe with lace or macramé.  This lace overlay shift dress is a perfect example (and in a hot color for the season: watery blue) (Click here for shopping information).

If that’s too much lace for you add a hint of it in your top or even your shoes (Click here for shopping information) or go for something with the more casual macramé design.

Retro:  Decades repeat themselves over and over, each time reinventing that particular decade of fashion.  This season we get a bit of a break from the 1980’s and see mod styles from the 1960’s in contrast to the more demure styles of the 1950’s.  Choose the one that most suits your personality and have fun with it.

Peek-a-boo strips: It sounds racier than it really is (or needs to be).  You will find it in everything from a cable knit sweater to this pretty dress (Click here for shopping information). The see-through strips can be strategically placed or it is very simple to wear a skin colored tank under it to give the illusion of peekaboo without the exposure.

Berets: Hats have been gaining popularity for a while now and as we head into spring it can still be wise when the temperatures are cool to cover your head.  Or, it might just be a fun fashion statement that speaks to your bohemian side.  Now you can do it with a relaxed vibe in a pretty beret (Click here for shopping information):

Bothered

The least wearable top: This summer be prepared to see lots of tube tops, bandeau tops, soft bustiers and bralettes (really!) sometimes covered by a cardigan and sometimes not.  These are designed for very young, very small chested women and are not at all forgiving when you step outside those limitations.  Be very careful!

Midriff exposed: It feels like just yesterday that this was the hottest style around, but it was actually a few years ago.  Well, it’s baaaaack!  One BIG difference.  Instead of being paired with low-rise jeans or skirts, it is shown (here’s where the bralettes come in) with pants and skirts worn at the natural waist.  So, it’s really from the waist to just under the bustline that is exposed.  Again, a very young style.

Oversized, baggy jeans (circa 1990’s): No!

Oversized ruffles: Every spring, without fail, ruffles are in.  I guess the designers are getting bored because this season we are seeing fewer dainty ruffles and more gigantic ones.  It is too early to say how much of those will invade the mainstream stores, but keep a watchful eye so you can experiment with or avoid them.  For most of us, it will be way too much busyness, but if it fits your personality and doesn’t overpower you, enjoy!

Gladiator boots: Also known as ‘Shin armor’ — these are the craziest shoes ever (well, maybe not crazier than those sky high platforms).

I can’t think of anyone I know wearing these and you won’t find millions of them out there (thank goodness).  They are just a tad dominatrix for every day wear!

You will find them at every price point so you can’t just write it off as a lower end style.  Here’s an example of one (Click here for shopping information):

Bewildered

Cropped (ankle) pant: Go away!  This is one of the most unflattering styles ever.  It makes most people look shorter and wider and if you have short legs to begin with, forget it.  My advice: if you really must wear them choose a color close to your skin tone and make sure the opening of the pant leg is as slim as possible.  My only hope is that they are so popular right now that by next year we won’t be able to find them anywhere, but that might be wishful thinking.

Graphic contrast (bold black and white): I know our culture has a love affair with black and the past few seasons this has extended to black and white worn together.  While it looks great on someone who can wear this high contrast it is absolutely not most people’s best look. And, this season we are seeing the most expressive part of the trend as a very clear, sharp distinction between the black and white – almost architectural. In this dress you can see the very strong use of stripes (another hot trend) as well (Click here for shopping information).

Shorts suits: The difference between this year’s short suit and that of the recent past is that the shorts now are very short.  They are not suitable for the office and I’m not sure where else you would wear it even if you did want to wear shorts that short.

Slouchy separates: What they are showing on the runway is an entire “slouchy” outfit.  If you really must bring in the slouch and you want to make it work, choose just one slouchy garment and build your outfit around it.  Keep everything else sleek or you will get lost in tons of shapeless fabric.

Patchwork Animal Print: Every year for the past 26 years animal print has been a trend…really!  It has been tweaked here or there for the type of animal print or sometimes color has been added, and usually I like it.  This is the first time I have to say…scary! (Click here for shopping information).

There are more trends out there like iridescent finishes, toile, drop waist dresses and “flatform” shoes, but the ones I have highlighted seem to be getting the most press so far.  The warmer weather is a time to relax, rejoice and have fun so explore the trends and create a fabulous wardrobe you love.

If you need help, there are still a few spaces left in the upcoming ‘Your Style, Your Way’ workshop.  Watch the video here.  You won’t believe how it will transform your personal style and your approach to shopping!

Two weeks ago we started the discussion of how to avoid wearing clothes that add width and make you look heavier than you are. You can review those first five tips here. Now that you’ve had a chance to experiment with those ideas, let’s continue on with the next five:
6. Pockets can ruin a good outfit. While, pockets can be a very handy addition to a coat or jacket, there are plenty of other situations when you have to wonder what the designer was thinking. Patch pockets (a big square pocket sewn on the outside of a garment) are big offenders when it comes to adding physical and visual bulk, yet they appear on blouses at the bustline, on jackets or sweaters at the waist and on the hips of your skirt or pants. Not only are they large but they often gap or sag unattractively, drawing more focus to the part of your body they cover. Are there exceptions? Yes. If you are small busted, for instance, you can handle a pocket on your chest because you can afford to add volume, but if you are larger breasted, avoid it. It will just make you look bustier than you are and draw focus to that part of your body.

My recommendation is to avoid patch pockets anywhere on your body where you do not want to draw attention. So if you carry weight in your tummy, you certainly do not want to wear a jacket or sweater with pockets at your mid-section. And, if you have a few extra pounds on your hips and thighs, then patch pockets on your longer sweater or cargo pants with pockets on your legs will not do you any favors. Also, while we are on the topic of pockets, angled pockets that are often in women’s dress trousers should be banished. For most women, these pockets just pull and gap and make you look and feel heavier than you are. This does not mean you have to pass up a pair of pants that has them. In most cases, you can apply an easy fix. Just have the pockets removed and sewn shut by your tailor, and the front of your trousers will be nice and smooth.

7. Use color strategically. By this, I mean use color placement to your advantage. One great way to use color well is with color blocking. This just means that instead of wearing all one color or a smaller pattern of colors, you wear large blocks of colors in one outfit. Dresses often demonstrate this idea well. For example, a slimming design is one that has dark side panels (often with the dark panel indenting at the waist to create an hour-glass shape) and a brighter color down the middle of your body.

Take a look at the first dress pictured at the right. The eye automatically goes to the brighter pop of color, and the darker side panels recede, which appears to whittle your waistline. The dress pictured at the bottom offers another example using black and a print so your eye goes to the print and the curve of the floral design accentuates or gives the illusion of, that curve of the body.

You can do this with separates as well. Match your tank top to your skirt or pants, and then wear a long, sleek, dark neutral cardigan or coat jacket. Leave the sweater or jacket open, and you create a long central column of color with the outer jacket fading into the background. Of course, monochromatic dressing—wearing an outfit all in one color (or slightly varying tones of one color) from head to toe—will also have a slimming effect because the eye doesn’t stop or is not drawn horizontally as it would when, for instance, the hem of your yellow sweater contrasts with the brown of your pants.

8. Gathers or pleats around the waist are no one’s best look. While there are exceptions to every fashion rule out there, very few women can pull off gathers around the waist which we sometimes see in skirts that have an elasticized waistband and tiny folds of fabric pulled together known as gathers. This extra fabric adds width and fullness at the waistline. Pleated pants or skirts also add volume at your tummy and hip area and will automatically make you look heavier than you are. Sleek, flat front pants and skirts are always more becoming.

9. An ill-fitting bra adds pounds. You have most likely heard me talk about wearing a bra that fits you properly, and that’s because it is so important in creating a flattering silhouette. When your bra fits you well, your breasts are supported and lifted, and there is more space between your bustline and your waist. And, back fat is reduced when your bra fits your body. It’s a winning solution all around.

10. Accessories can add pounds, too. Yes, even accessories can add the illusion of pounds and a big offender is the choker necklace. Thankfully, chokers are not often a popular fashion accessory, but they do come into style now and again. When they do, choose wisely as they are not always the most flattering embellishment. Wearing a choker is not a big problem if you have a long thin smooth neck—in which case you can wear a thick or thin choker if it really makes you happy. But, in general, if your neck is short or full, the choker will just make your neck look shorter and wider, and, as you get older, it can draw attention to a softening jawline. Chokers can also have a somewhat unsettling effect—dare I say wearers look beheaded?—which is not usually a fashion statement anyone chooses on purpose. In general, a more flattering look is to wear a necklace that hangs down a few inches on your chest creating the illusion of a longer neck.

Did you notice that something was missing in the list of looks that add pounds? I’ve saved horizontal stripes for last.

It has been ingrained in women from a young age that horizontal stripes are universally unflattering and make every woman look heavier than she is. As a result, women everywhere avoid them like the plague. And, this isn’t always necessary. One general rule: the wider the stripe, the heavier it will make you look, and the thinner the stripe, the more slimming it is. Here’s a perfect example. Where does she look the widest?

You can also go one step further. If you want to wear horizontal stripes but worry about looking heavier, choose a thin stripe in related colors, such as medium blue with navy or pink and orange as in the example pictured at the top right, and the effect will be softer and more forgiving (than black and white, for example). You can also experiment with stripes that are wiggly or with patterns where the lines are diffused. These will also have a softer effect as you can see in the dress pictured at the bottom right. That said, it is not all lollipops and roses when it comes to donning a striped garment. As stripes—which are traditionally straight—navigate over your curves, they can look distorted and draw attention to the parts of the body they cover.

Believe it or not, for some women horizontal stripes are a blessing. Women who are tall and thin and feel a bit on the lanky side can use horizontal stripes strategically to add width and break up the vertical line. The point here is that you might not want to dismiss stripes so readily—unless you just don’t like them—and allow for the possibility that you might one day find a beautiful horizontal stripe that looks great and that you enjoy wearing.

I have yet to meet one woman who wants her wardrobe to make her look heavier and wider than she is. That’s why this checklist is so important. Whether you are mixing and matching from your existing wardrobe or out shopping for new items, keep this list handy as you make adjustments to each outfit you put together. In fact, here’s a distilled version of the list so you can refer to it often:

1. Expand your dark (a.k.a., slimming) color repertoire–black is not the only option.
2. Choose clothes that skim your body—not too big or too small.
3. Pair slim cropped pants with shoes with a low vamp to elongate your legs.
4. Ankle straps and high vamp shoes shorten your legs so be careful what you pair them with.
5. Keep your posture tall and straight.
6. Notice the pockets on the garment and make sure they do not detract or add bulk.
7. Use vertical columns of color to create a slimming effect.
8. Avoid gathers or pleats around the waist or hips.
9. Wear a bra that fits perfectly.
10. Avoid wearing a choker necklace unless you are sure it is flattering.

Practice applying these ten powerful tips and watch how those changes make you instantly appear taller and slimmer.

And, watch for an expanded version of this article in my upcoming book, That’s So You! Create a Look You Love with Beauty, Style and Grace due out next month!

The long, cold, colorless winter is upon us here in the northeast, and once the holidays are over we’ll settle in for several months of dreariness (can you tell I just love the winter!). Being cold is not one of my favorite things and yet finding warm, cozy clothes and accessories that are also fun and stylish can be a wee bit of a challenge, to say the least…especially once January comes around and the stores start to think about spring!

So, I scour the stores and internet looking for things to bring light and joy to any woman’s wardrobe, and I am, of course, more than happy to share my special finds.

Here are 5 items that I feel are pretty, refreshing or just downright adorable for you or as a holiday gift…

Warmth & Style All In One! I don’t wear many turtlenecks these days (a softening jawline and all that…) so I’ve taken to adding beautiful scarves to my wardrobe. There are lots of them out there but this one just caught my eye because the color is stunning and will look good on many women. (Coral scarf featured at right. Click here for shopping info) and this one looks cozy and again the burgundy color will look good on many women (Burgundy scarf featured at right. Click here for shopping info).

Give Your ‘Functional’ Accessories a Lift! Add some cheer to your outfit with a handbag in a gorgeous color. In addition to being pretty to look at (coming in red, green, black and silver), practical and timeless, it is also vegan and cruelty-free (Click here for shopping info).

And, as an extra bonus you can use the coupon code ‘Ginger’ through the end of the year and receive $200 discount on any handbag in their collection. I have a Jill Milan bag, and it’s totally elegant.

Big, Bold & Beautiful! Cocktail rings are all the rage right now, and they are fabulous! I have to admit it is one accessory I don’t wear (most look way too oversized on me), but if I did, this is one that I think is elegant, and unusual (Click here for shopping info).

Those of you who have been shopping with me at Jewelry by Karel know how much pizzazz a cocktail ring can add to an outfit, and she has a great selection at great prices. Whether you spend a little (you can find very fun, inexpensive ones on www.etsy.com) or a lot is up to you. It’s a fun way to add a little razzle-dazzle to your holidays.

Pretty PJ’s! I am constantly on the prowl for pretty, feminine, cozy sleepwear. So much of it out there is either dowdy, purely functional or skimpy (for me that means too short) and I’d freeze! I found a fun selection at Soma (Click here for shopping info).

Soothing Comfort All Winter! Historically, winter is a time to hibernate a bit, reflect and relax (yeah, right, you say!). Well, any little bit helps, for sure. That’s why I created this delicious essential oil blend of lavender, geranium and ylang ylang.

Use it as a massage oil or countless other ways (I include a list of suggestions for how to use it with each purchase). (Click here for shopping info).

Yes, the winter is long, but please don’t become just another body dressed in gray or black trudging through the winter months…biding your time until spring. Bring light, joy and delight to your wardrobe now! These are just a few ways to do that.

Feel free to share any juicy, sparkly, fun items you’ve found during your holiday shopping sprees. Let’s help each other celebrate beauty throughout the next few months.

Be honest. Do you look in your closet and think, “Wow…I really need clothes. I have nothing to wear!” You stand there in dismay trying to figure out what to do next and then, you hear it — the voices that bombard you with a list of excuses as to why you can’t or won’t get new clothes any time soon. So, you nod your head, shut the door and go about your day. Until the next day, when you repeat the same scenario.

Admit it. There’s a sense of relief when you hear the reasons why you can’t go shopping. You don’t really want to do it anyway and having what feels like a valid excuse lets you stop worrying about it…at least for the moment. Instead you resign yourself to the daily stress of getting dressed and the familiar sense of longing for clothes that make you happy. You figure that some day the timing will be right but not now.

It’s no wonder you don’t love shopping for clothes. You spend time you don’t have wandering around the stores that feel too big and leave with things you don’t love but that will suffice. After all that, you go home worn out. No feeling of excitement or anticipation of having new things to wear. You’re just glad it’s over.

Phew! It’s completely understandable why you wouldn’t want to repeat that experience anytime soon!

What’s your favorite excuse? Do you tell yourself you’ll shop when:

• You have more time
• You have more money
• The stores have better choices
• You lose weight

At the time reasons feel legitimate. The problem is that they are open-ended – you can go on forever like that. If you dislike shopping or you don’t feel like you deserve a good wardrobe, then there’s always something else that will come along to take up your time and money.

So, what’s the answer?

“You must become a priority on your to-do list. And somehow it has to become a more enticing and rewarding experience or it is easy to keep putting it off.

What’s behind each of these excuses? Fear.

• Fear that you’ll waste time and come home with nothing worthwhile to show for it.
• Fear that you’ll waste money on things you’ll never wear. (Often this piggy backs an overriding belief that you have to spend a lot of money in order to have a great wardrobe (you don’t!))
• Fear that you’ll discover they don’t make clothes anymore that look good on you.
• Fear that you’ll buy new clothes and then lose weight and have to buy more new clothes, or
• Fear that you’ll buy clothes for your current (undesirable) weight and then you’ll feel complacent and not lose the weight you want to lose.

It’s not surprising that you’d rather stay with what’s familiar even if it’s uncomfortable than take a step that stirs up a whole bunch of new feelings that support your deepest fears.

So, now what? How do you get out of your rut and make this a happy experience rather than one that makes you feel even worse than your current limiting wardrobe?

Let’s address some of your underlying fears and then identify steps you can take to move in the direction you want to. Your past experiences are valid which is why you are reading this and looking for guidance. You want to move forward. This also says that you are willing to make some changes and take a step even if it feels uncomfortable or a bit scary.

• Time: If you’d rather have a root canal than go clothes shopping you’ll never set aside the time to do it until you’re in pain, i.e., you don’t have anything left to wear or you need something for an event and you must shop. Shopping when you are desperate is never a good use of your time and can severely deplete your energy. Nine times out of ten it just reinforces the fear (sometimes all of them!) and makes you even more reticent to shop again before you have to, setting you up for a vicious cycle of shopping only when you’re desperate.
• Money: Let me dispel this fear right up front. Sure, it would be wonderful to have an unlimited clothing budget, but to be honest, very few women have that luxury. In fact, it’s important to know what your budget is (no matter how big or small) so you spend it wisely. Nor do you have to shop at the ritziest stores in order to have a great wardrobe. You can find great clothes at any price point. I have things in my closet that I’ve found at thrift stores, consignment stores, off-price stores, department stores and boutiques. You name it, I’ve found clothes there. If you know how to make good choices then you can shop anywhere (I know. I know. This is why you haven’t been shopping – because you don’t know how to make good choices — but we’ll get to that).

One thing I need to point out is that bargain shopping sometimes takes more time and energy because thrift stores, consignment stores and off-price stores are often more hit or miss, and you have to filter through more racks than department stores or a boutique that you know carry lines of clothing that work for you. But, when you know what you’re looking for it gets easier and quicker either to find things or leave empty handed but satisfied you didn’t buy something just to buy something.

• Better Choices: Wouldn’t it would feel so much easier if fashion would just stay the same for a while? Maybe, maybe not. The reality is that styles change, trends change, and your body changes…sometimes even your lifestyle changes, so your wardrobe is constantly evolving (whether you want it to or not!). There are always new choices to be made and understanding how to make them for your body, lifestyle and personality is key.
• Weight: This is by far the #1 reason women don’t shop when they need to. Whether your body has shifted due to having children, going through menopause, health-related issues, or just getting older, its easy to mourn the days when it used to feel easier to get dressed (if that ever was true for you – for some women it was never easy and they just get worn out as the years go by), or, you just feel frustrated by the fact that you have a closet full of clothes that fit you at a different weight, and you can’t wear any of them now.

Whatever your weight is, you deserve to feel good right now. If your weight has changed, it doesn’t mean you have to go spend tons of money or buy massive amounts of clothes at your current weight if you are expecting it to change again. But you do need to have clothes you feel good in now. Focus on basic colors and garments you can mix and match to leverage your purchases and then add accessories to bring in personality. This will serve you much better than berating yourself for gaining weight or putting pressure on yourself to lose the weight. Good self-care and kindness to yourself will ease the experience and help you achieve your goal with less angst.

All of your reasons for not shopping are valid, but the good news is that they don’t have to keep you stuck forever.

• Set aside some time. If you’re used to dashing in to Kohls 20 minutes before you have to pick the kids up at school, then you’re setting yourself up for stress and frustration. Schedule in at least 90 minutes to shop. Put it in your calendar or you’ll never do it. No matter what your schedule is you can find it somewhere if you really want to even if you schedule it a month out.
• Shop with a plan. Have a list of priorities with you. Maybe you need new jeans and a winter coat. Or, a dress for a special occasion and a fun clutch. Even if your wardrobe needs a total overhaul do not go in as a blank slate with an open-ended list. You’ll be overwhelmed in a matter of seconds.
• Always look for your best colors first. Scan the racks, see what colors (your most flattering colors, of course) call out to you and start there. It immediately limits the number of options you have and makes it easier and quicker to shop. If you’re looking for a dress, for instance, in your shades of green, teal or purple and all you see is gray and orange, then you’re done. On to the next item on your list or to the next store. Don’t try to make something work just because you’re there. That’s how wardrobes get out of control!
• Be willing to try on new styles. Sure, some garments will make you roll your eyes and wonder what genius designer thought “that” look was a good idea, but there are always new options hiding on the racks just waiting for you to try them on. And, do not leave the store without trying things on – unless you really will return everything that doesn’t work before their return policy expires (I’ve seen too many closets full of clothes with tags on them), and even then I don’t recommend it. You’re less likely to take something that’s new and different (and potentially won’t work) home than you would be to bring it into the dressing room and leave it behind if it’s not right.
• Be willing to use a tailor. So many women have said to me, I’m petite so I shouldn’t have to hem petite pants. My response…why not? A petite woman can be 4’11” or 5’4”. I’ve even shopped with women who are taller and have long torsos in comparison to their legs and petite pants fit them well. That’s a wide range and no way you can expect one length to cover everyone. And, that’s just pants. Other alterations often need to be done so allow for this cost when you buy something or else don’t buy it (and in that case you can expect your choices to be considerably limited). This is true for everyone, not just petite women. Find a great tailor and you open up a whole new world of options.
• Complete the outfit as much as possible in the dressing room. You’ve heard me say this before, and I’m happy to say it again and again. You can’t try on a pretty dress with clunky sneakers and socks on. Most likely (I know this is true for me), you’ll feel dumpy and you’ll dislike the dress immediately without giving it a fair assessment. In this case, if you’re shopping for a dress, bring a pair of shoes with you that you’d wear with it just so you can get an idea of what it would look like finished (at the very least, take off your socks!). If you are trying on a pair of skinny jeans (and women of all sizes and shapes can wear them so don’t think they are just for tall, thin women), you’ll want to have a jacket or sweater that covers your butt and maybe even a pair of tall boots to get the full effect. It’s too easy to dismiss something when you can’t see the final look.
• Ask for help. If the next several months pass and you still haven’t gone shopping, you might need a jumpstart. Many of my clients shop with me two or three times a year so they can get it done as efficiently and productively (and with as much fun) as possible. They know they don’t like to shop by themselves or it takes too long or they make too many mistakes so having support makes it all a thousand times easier and then they don’t have to think about it again until the next time we shop. There is no embarrassment in needing help. In fact, it’s a sign of strength and honoring yourself (believe me, I’ve done it in other areas of my life and am thankful I have). Not everyone loves the experience of shopping but everyone deserves the experience of looking great every day!

So, what are you waiting for? Please don’t just turn the page and say yeah, yeah, I’ll get to it soon. Make a commitment now. Get out your calendar and schedule a time to shop. Start making a list of what you need – just 1-3 things. Start visualizing the experience being fun and easy and stick to the date. Make that commitment to yourself and your personal self-care. Each step you take is one more step towards having a wardrobe you love. Do it now!

Every time I poll groups of women to find out who likes to shop and who doesn’t, somewhere between one third and one half admit they hate it. If you add to that the number of women who like to shop but don’t have time to, the percentage soars to almost two-thirds! I have also found that love it or hate it many women are often frustrated by their shopping experience and rarely find shopping to be as efficient and productive as they’d like.

If any of this sounds familiar, check out these five common shopping mistakes to see if they ring a familiar bell. Print this out and take it with you on your next shopping trip. It can save you time, aggravation, and money! Cleaning up your shopping act can make all the difference in the world. Try it for yourself and see.

1. Avoid Shopping “Daze” — If you love to shop (and have the time!) then skip to #2 since this will not be an issue for you at all. This is mostly a concern for women whose eyes glaze over when they walk into a clothing store (as mine do in Home Depot!). Solution: Go with a list – a short list and stick to it so you can focus only on what you came into the store for. Sounds simple, but, as you know, it is easy to get distracted so write it down!

2. Play Dress Up…Adult Style — If I had a nickel for every time a woman told me that she can only find a dressy dress when she doesn’t need one, but when she goes shopping specifically for a dress (too often at the last minute!), it becomes an elusive purchase, I could retire (not that I want to, of course)! When it comes to dressy clothes (especially if you do not have any) buy something when you see it. It takes much longer for them to go out of style, and you’ll be thrilled the next time you are invited to an event and actually have something delicious to wear. As a bonus, the universe has been known to reward you with fun invitations just because you have a beautiful outfit ready and waiting. An example is the ruched empire dress pictured at the right.

(Click here for shopping information).

3. Put an End to Your Shopping S.O.S. (Same Old Stuff) — I have seen things that look downright hideous on the hanger look spectacular on a body and things that you’d think would be a sure thing on the hanger look dreadful when you try it on. Go figure! (This is especially true this season when the 80’s styles are back in full force! The dolman (a.k.a., batwing) sleeve is a perfect example. It’s everywhere and will look great on some of you and awful on others (especially those of you who are large chested or bigger on top than on bottom) AND it almost always looks terrible on the hanger.) If it calls to you and intrigues you, try it on! You can always (and must!) put it back on the rack if it doesn’t work, and you have spent nothing other than a couple of minutes of your time. If it does work, you will have something exciting and new to spice up your wardrobe. An example of a dolman sleeve is the knit top pictured at the right.

(Click here for shopping information).

4. Once More With Feeling — Have you ever gone shopping and left with bags of clothes but also with a nagging sense that something is missing…say, excitement/delight/joy over your new purchases? In this case, turn right around and return it all! You must love everything you buy and wear – no excuses, no arguments!

5. No If’s, And’s, or But(t)’s

It’s so easy to try to talk ourselves into or out of something but often our rationalizations will cause more aggravation, discouragement or frustration than anything else. So, if one of these sounds familiar, stop and take notice…

• “If I just lose 5 pounds/do more ab and butt exercises/hold my breath it will fit perfectly!”
• “If I just wear a little more blush and a different lipstick this beige blouse won’t make me look so washed out.”
• “But it’s so cute/such a good price/feels so comfy – I’m sure I can find something to wear with it.”

No, no, and no! Buy it and wear it only if it is wearable now.

Will every shopping trip be a raving success? Well, it depends on how you measure success. Sure, it would be great if each time you shopped you found exactly what you were looking for easily and could wear it the next day. But, that’s not always the case. Sometimes what you are looking for isn’t in that store at that particular time. Never buy something just to buy it (refer back to #4). At best it’s a hollow victory. Sure, you’ll have more clothes to add to your wardrobe but if they aren’t things you love wearing then what’s the point?

Keep these solutions handy so that every time you are tempted to stray you can refer back for moral support and guidance (writing them down is even better so they will be handy the next time you shop). Your wardrobe, psyche, and wallet will thank you.

Does one of these resonate with you? Has it kept you stuck? If more than one strikes a familiar chord, just choose one to focus on so you don’t get overwhelmed. I’d love to hear your successes, questions, and aha moments if you’d like to share them.

Have you ever walked around a store looking for something specific and thought, yikes, there’s nothing here I want to buy? You’ve checked every department and all the sales racks (more than once) and still nothing! You could go to another store but you’re running late for a meeting or to pick up the kids, and you’re feeling discouraged and tired anyway.

We’ve all been there, done that so don’t be too upset with yourself. The important thing is to learn from it and regroup.

The very first thing you’ll want to consider is if this has been a recurrent theme in your shopping history. If so, perhaps it is time to evaluate how little this supports you in creating a wardrobe you love (not to mention the drain on your self-esteem and psyche). Here are some suggestions to help you redirect your energy on those days when you’re having a frustrating shopping experience.

Do you need to:

1. Shop with more lead time. Be honest. Are your shopping expeditions generally initiated out of pure desperation (you have an event to go to tomorrow and you’ve been putting off looking for something to wear because you knew it would be an unpleasant and unrewarding experience, or your only pair of work shoes just bit the dust (you kept meaning to buy another pair but never got around to it and now you have nothing to wear for a special meeting)? Don’t berate yourself. Just chalk it up to experience, and do what you need to do to get through the situation. Most importantly, let this serve as a wake-up call (albeit a somewhat expensive one (both in terms of the money you spent on something you don’t love and your precious time you wasted) not to let it happen again. Keep reading…it will help.

2. Cut your losses. Don’t buy something you don’t love. Leave the store once you’ve determined you can’t find anything. Never settle for less. Desperation aside, you don’t want to fill your wardrobe with things that are okay, decent, functional or good enough. Nope. Never. You are better off wearing what you already have in your wardrobe that serves the purpose (even minimally) than buying something to add to the ‘never wear’ pile.

3. Take a break. If your shopping experience is heading downhill fast, take a few minutes and go have a cup of tea or lunch. If you don’t have time, then call it a day and plan to shop again tomorrow or the next day. You can’t buy something you love when you’re expecting only to find things you don’t love. Remember that during peak times in the shopping season, the stores are bringing new things onto the sales floor daily so you might see something new the next time you venture in. And, this might sound woo-woo but once you feel refreshed and venture into the store with a renewed attitude of hopefulness, you are more likely to see something that was there all along, but when you are frustrated and rushed your eye naturally settles on things that don’t appeal to you (just to fuel your frustration). Now that you’re refreshed and have a brighter attitude you are open to inviting in new fun possibilities.

4. Find a new store(s) to replace where you’re shopping now or as a back-up when your usual stores are not giving you what you want. It’s so easy to get stuck in a rut. Perhaps your favorite store is your favorite because 5 years ago you were able to outfit yourself perfectly there every time you went in. Now, either because your body has changed, your lifestyle has changed or they have a new buyer and the store is focusing on a different clientele, you come out empty handed more often than not and even when you do buy something you end up returning it. If this sounds familiar, it’s time to shop somewhere else! If you are used to shopping at Target try Kohls or JC Penney? Has Macy’s or Saks always been your go-to store? Then how about Lord & Taylor or Bloomingdale’s. Are you a tried and true Marshall’s fan? Then take a trip to Nordstrom Rack or Loehmann’s?

5. Revisit what you are looking for. Is it realistic? One of my dearest clients LOVED the jewelry of the 1980’s — big earrings that sat high on her ear and made a huge fashion statement. Right after the 1980’s, jewelry trends made an about face, and everything was eensy-weensy. It made finding her favorite earrings virtually impossible. She had to make a choice – keep looking for something that didn’t exist or try something new. A similar scenario is true right now: jackets/interesting blazers are lost in space! To a large extent we are stuck with jackets that are weird 80’s replicas (not even the best of the 80’s!), blazers that are part of a classic suit or else your choices are interesting styles but only in black or gray. Want a fun jacket? You’ll have to think outside the box (at least until the designers wise up!).

Be more open to options you haven’t considered before. For example:

• Find a great consignment store. Consignment shops are popping up all over the place, and they can be a great place to find different items for less than retail or styles that are classic enough to withstand the test of time (while still appealing to your esthetic sense, of course (you never want to buy something simply because it’s classic)).

• Spend a tad more money. If you spent $50 more for something but wore it 10 times as much as the lesser-priced item you don’t like as well, would it be worth the extra cost? (I recommend that the answer be yes since getting value from your wardrobe is all about price per wear. And, the more items you buy that you love the less you’ll need to buy to feel satisfied with your wardrobe.) I’m not saying you can’t find great items for less. I’m just suggesting that you allow for both possibilities.

• Use a tailor when off-the-rack clothes aren’t perfect. Unless you are a perfect fit model size for your favorite designer or you love to shop so much (and have the free time to spend shopping) that you don’t mind waiting until you find something off the rack that fits perfectly, you need a tailor. For most of us, something almost always needs to be tweaked (at least 60+% of my wardrobe needs to go to the tailor before I can wear it).

6. Don’t give up. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Use the information above to reframe how you approach your wardrobe-building strategy. Everyone can have a wardrobe she adores but not if you let overwhelm, desperation and discouragement lead the way.

What did you learn? Rather than write off an unfruitful shopping trip entirely, figure out what your take-aways are. Maybe you learned that you need to:

____ find a great tailor.

____ wear comfortable shoes the next time you shop so you’re not focused on the pain in your feet rather than the clothes you want to buy.

____ shop with a list and go to another store sooner if you’re not finding what you want.

____ plan ahead so you’re not scrambling at the last second. Perhaps having a couple of dressy outfits you love already in your closet just waiting for those special occasions will take the pressure off.

____ shop with a buddy (someone you trust and who won’t press her agenda on you) or a professional.

____ shop in the _______ (time of day) when you feel the most energized.

____ clean out your closet before you shop so you really know what you need instead of wondering if you already have 3 exactly the same at home.

____ other ______________________________________________________

Take the next step and commit to one of the things you checked above. See what happens when you approach your wardrobe building experience from a new vantage point. Doing just one thing differently can have major impact and inspire you in ways you can’t imagine right now. How could it hurt? If you keep doing what you’re doing you’ll keep getting the same results and chances are (if you are reading this article) you aren’t happy with what you’ve been getting. This is your chance to take a step in a new direction that can have powerful results. Try it and see!

I love autumn. Yes, I know I say this every year but I really, really do. And, this year I’m particularly excited for the transition because it was such a very hot summer. The cooler weather is such a wonderful relief. So, for those of you mourning the end of summer, let me share some fun fashion updates for the Fall that will bring a delicious smile of anticipation to your lips and sometimes an out loud guffaw at what they try to pass off as style! Thankfully there is more to celebrate than bemoan.

In case you are new to my seasonal fashion updates, I divide the various new trends into those that I find beautiful and bewitching, those that are bothersome on some level and the ones that are just downright bewildering. Are you with me? Let’s explore:

Bewitched

Colors: You know I’m all about color and fall is often my favorite season for color. I love the transition as we move from lighter, brighter colors to warm, deep, rich tones. So what’s up this season? Let me share the bewitching colors here and look for the bothersome ones below. Navy blue is making a well-deserved comeback. It works on many women as a great neutral and has been hugely neglected in the past few years. Add to that a deep forest green (also largely overlooked in recent autumn/winter seasons) and a deep (not bright!) red. Yay. These are colors that work on a lot of women, so if you look great in them, snap them up now. (Click here for shopping information)

Textures: The feel of fall is yummy. Not only in the colors but also in the textures. What is more soft and elegant than velvet, and they are promising lots of it as we get into the cooler months? Want something more casual? When the temperatures take a nosedive you can turn to chunky knits but in the meantime, open weave sweaters are hot. Think of them as the fall version of the summer macramé sweaters that were everywhere. Simply wear a long-sleeved fitted top underneath, and you’ll be cozy and fashionable.

Peplums: Yes, I know. I for the past few seasons I’ve been putting these in the bewitching category, and that is deliberate. If you don’t know what a peplum is, http://www.thefreedictionary.com/peplum defines it as, “A short overskirt or ruffle attached at the waistline of a jacket, blouse, or dress.” These days, believe it or not, it even is used in reference to skirts that have a ruffle type attachment at the bottom.

Can everyone wear a peplum? Yes, technically with the right design everyone can wear one. Should you? Maybe, maybe not. It depends on how the peplum is constructed. Some are so small you can barely see them. Others are huge and long and the defining design of the jacket. The fullness or sleekness will definitely affect the success of the peplum on a particular body shape but it is possible to find one that works. But, what’s equally as important is whether a peplum suits your personality. That’s a totally different discussion and only you can decide.

Of course, if it intrigues you I’d say try them and see (you’ll most likely have to try many to find one that’s a contender). You can always take it off and put it back on the rack – no harm done or money wasted.

Wide leg trousers: No, skinny pants have not disappeared. In fact, they are as hot as ever and even come in the deep tones of the season (which are kind of fun!). But, to balance out the latest obsession with their skinniness is the wide leg trouser. Yay! A great look on many women especially those who carry a little weight in their hips and thighs (sometimes a tad tricky for petite women – but not always).

Denim: As always denim is hot. The colored jeans are continuing but the colors are deeper and richer (actually, they are very beautiful). Yes, most of them are skinny but not all so you can still pick up a pair even if you aren’t a fan of the skinny style. Denim jackets are huge right now and even double-denim is popular but it has to be done with great panache (you generally want to pair two different denim washes together so it doesn’t look like a denim suit), or it will look dated. (Click here for shopping information)

Shoes: Boots are always popular in the colder weather and knee high boots are still going strong. Whether you prefer a high heel or flat riding boot style there’s something for everyone. They’ll be flooding into the stores soon. What else is popular? Color blocking on shoes and embellished heels are fun. Ankle straps are huge again which is great if you have long thin legs and ankles but if not, avoid them (you’ll also see ankle straps with low cut ankle boots – kind of interesting but definitely a trend so choose wisely), and probably one of the hottest new trends is the smoking loafer. It’s a nice change from, or alternative to, the ballet flat. It looks great with pants and is super comfortable, and it not only comes in basic neutral colors but in prints, textures and with sparkles! (Click here for shopping information)

Handbags: While there is a lot happening in handbags and many, many options (see: my take on this season’s handbag trends: the dome bag is big.

(Click here for more information)

Prints: Prints are huge again this season and we are seeing everything from fall florals to brocade (especially in pants) and the new optic prints are exploding. As always, choose wisely for your taste, body size, and coloring and be absolutely sure that one of your best, most flattering colors is the predominant color in whatever print you choose. There is no exception to that rule.

Trench Coats: After a wonderful run of fun trench coat options, the past season or so has been a little disappointing. This fall they are offering us a new option to spice things up a bit – the patent trench. It looks like it is made of slicker material and has lots of shine but the saving grace is that it comes in beautiful rich jewel tones in addition to black.

Accessories: Brooches are back, and they are beautiful. If you love them, pick up a few of your favorites and if you aren’t a brooch type of gal, there are plenty of other jewelry options to choose from to express your unique personality. One fun option is a bejeweled headband. Very fun and playful if that suits you, and it can even be worn (in fact, it’s very fashionable and trendy to do so) with short hair.

Bothered

Color: Two very hot colors this season are mustard and gray. Okay, so I acknowledge that these colors are important to some women who look good in them but the ratio of these colors on the store racks to other more widely flattering colors is way skewed in the wrong direction! Mustard is one of THE hardest colors to wear well and light gray is dreadful on a huge number of women (charcoal fares better). Is this some kind of cosmic fashion joke? Please, unless you are absolutely positive that these colors look good on you, avoid them like the plague!

Coats: As we move into colder weather we are seeing a new trend for coats. Let me preface it by saying that I really loved the 80’s. I had big hair (I do big hair really well!) and loved the beautiful colored structured suits with shoulder pads that balanced my hips. I leaned toward the elegant side of the 80’s so when I see them bringing back the most questionable trends from that decade, I have to wonder. So, what we’re seeing now (and let me warn you that when we get a trickle of a trend one season within about 2 seasons we usually experience it as a full blown trend) is what they are calling the boyfriend coat. You know how the boyfriend jackets have been popular (they are longer and slightly oversized and are meant to look like you are wearing your boyfriend’s jacket)? Well, translate that into a coat and that’s what we’re seeing – oversized, shapeless coats. Please say it isn’t true!

Ripped Denim: So much is happening here as you saw in the bewitched category so why this fascination with ripped or distressed denim? Now it has expanded from pants to ripped jean jackets and shirts. Very few people can pull this off without looking messy (what a surprise!) so my advice is steer clear.

Contrasting Peter Pan Collar: No. It’s that simple. Youthful is one thing, infantilized is another. Leave it to the teens and super trendy fashionistas.

Bewildered

Matchstick Pants: These are everywhere just as they were in the spring. Designers and advertisers make them sound like the best thing since sliced bread but they aren’t. They are slightly fuller in the thighs so they won’t feel as constraining as skinny jeans (which can be good), but they are meant to end at the ankle. Because they are not generally as snug to the leg they tend to make your legs look infinitely shorter than long pants. If you have long thin legs this will work well but if not, hmmm, I’d pass them by.

Coated Denim: This is in this category only because the coating makes the pants shiny so they draw a lot of attention to the lower half of your body. Maybe good? Maybe not? Coated denim in a jacket is rather fun and a little more wearable.

Capes: They are beautiful. They are not practical – at least in the cold northeast of the U.S. If you don’t mind that you probably have about 5 days of the year when you can actually where it, then by all means get one. Otherwise, admire them in the stores, even try them on, but leave them hanging on the rack and buy something where your price per wear will be more in your favor.

So, there you have it — the fashion update for the coming season. Clothes are flooding into the store so start looking and see what you see that you like. Take this with you if you want to to inspire you and get your wardrobe moving in a really fun direction.

On a recent trip to Rockport, Massachusetts – a gorgeous seaside town – I spent a lot of time milling around and enjoying the gorgeous view and relaxing ambiance. Since it was a beautiful day the main street (or neck, as they call it) was packed with people on vacation. At one point, I had a very distinct realization – everyone looked the same. While all the teenagers were dressed in short shorts, everyone else’s style was kind of an LLBean meets REI look. It made me feel sad. When did women start settling for a largely colorless, shapeless look?

I know. I know. Comfort is key, and I’m with you on that, especially on vacation. Gone are the days when I’ll settle for something that is binding, scratchy or just plain uncomfortable. But, there is a happy medium between uninspired and trendy fashionista.

Summer is all about color and even though it is winding down you can be inspired to carry your colors into the autumn and winter. Flowers of every imaginable color are still everywhere. The ocean is brilliantly blue or green, and the sky is a rainbow of colors from sun up to sundown. There is very little gray or black except what we have added. Nature knows that color is food for the eyes and the soul. So, why not embrace that when you choose your casualwear. Sure, you don’t want to look like a walking fruit bowl but if you choose your best foundation color (for instance, black, beige, white, navy, brown) and pair it with beautiful colors (or even one color if this all feels so foreign), I suspect you’ll be surprised by how delightful it feels!

Here’s a great example of a look that is pretty and comfortable:

Yes, she’s wearing white pants or capris and yes, everyone can look good in them (it’s just a matter of finding the right ones that fit you well and (this is critical) pairing the right top and shoes with them. As one of my clients recently said, “You’ve made me a white convert!” Oh, and if your response is…well, it will get dirty. Yes, you’re right. It might. But I promise they can be washed! And, if that’s too big a jump right now, this top would also look great with jeans or navy shorts or capris. You don’t have to dismiss the entire outfit, just tweak it so it’s you.

Or, how about a maxi dress. One of my clients recently told me that she didn’t think she was a maxi dress kind of gal until she tried the right one on. Then she was sold! Could this be you? It’s so easy to dismiss something we’ve never tried before. This one is pretty, easy to wear, lovely colors and bra-friendly!

Whether you are going to work, out with friends or on vacation, how you dress is all about you. It’s the perfect opportunity to reflect the inner part of you that makes you special. I saw so many women on “the neck” in Rockport wearing gray, beige, black or white t-shirts and neutral colored shorts with Teva sandals or the equivalent. There is no way that all of these women are personality-less. It’s just not possible. Where was the playfulness, sparkle or warmth?

I know that in many cases what has happened is that they have given up (that’s why there’s a chapter in my coaching program “Who Taught You Who To Dress?” that talks about unconscious dressing). Does this sound familiar? Do you feel like you no longer know how to dress your body? As women get older and their body shifts or they gain weight there’s this sense of, “Yikes, now what do I do?” So, they resort to what is easy and safe and call it a day.

I also know that the discomfort intensifies (even if you squish it down) and the sadness escalates. I’ve seen it happen a thousand times. The good news is that this doesn’t have to be the case.

Take it one step at a time, and see what happens. Maybe pick up a fun beach tote that will add that spark you’re missing (click here for more information). Or, as we head into the Fall, you can add a pretty scarf to keep you warm on those chilly mornings (click here for more information).

Just keep at it. The next time you pack to go on vacation, smile and add something fun. Don’t let yourself fade into the crowd or let your style go on vacation when you do. You can look great sightseeing, relaxing at the pool or heading out to a leisurely dinner! Most of all, have fun with it. This is vacation after all!

It’s summer and T-shirts reign. Everywhere you look there is a sea of crewneck, shapeless, dreary-colored T-shirts. How did they get to be a staple in so many people’s wardrobes? I keep hoping I’ll wake up and realize it was all a bad dream but no such luck!

So, what is the origin of the T-shirt? I found this at (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/T-shirt):

“The T-shirt evolved from undergarments used in the 19th century, through cutting the one-piece “union suit” underwear into separate top and bottom garments, with the top long enough to tuck under the waistband of the bottoms. T-shirts, with and without buttons, were adopted by miners and stevedores during the late 1800s as a convenient covering for hot environments.

“T-shirts, as a slip on garment without buttons, originally became popular in the United States when they were issued by the U.S. Navy during or following the Spanish American War. These were a crew-necked, short-sleeved, white cotton undershirt to be worn under a uniform. It became common for sailors and Marines in work parties, the early submarines, and tropical climates to remove their uniform “jacket”, wearing (and soiling) only the undershirt. It is possible that the Navy uniform boards first discovered the T-shirt by watching dock crews.”

They, of course, got their name because of the shape of the shirt, a “T” (which, right there tells you it’s shapeless). Because they are so universally loved, they are touted as being versatile and basic, and to be honest, they are neither. Shocked? Let me explain:

Your average shapeless T-shirt (with or without logos!) is universally unflattering, especially for most women who, surprise, have a shape! This is because:

• While women with a long neck and who are small busted might look acceptable (notice I didn’t say great!) in a crew neck, it is generally not anyone’s go-to neckline. That tells you something. Why settle?

• The sleeves usually hit at a bad point on the arms and often stick out making your body look wider than it is. Yes, you can have them altered to improve the look, but 99.99% of people don’t and that still doesn’t address all the other issues with them.

• They are boxy and shapeless (which describes exactly how you will look in one), so it does absolutely nothing to flatter your figure (mostly because you can’t see your figure) and it does not (let me repeat that…does not!) make you appear smaller by trying to hide things. In fact, it does just the opposite. Ooops, I suspect that wasn’t your intent!

• The color (if it has one – often they are worn in white or light gray) usually fades within a few washings.

• More and more they are made out of lightweight, flimsy cotton that is very unforgiving (and often much more revealing) so it totally undermines the intended effect of “let’s hide this body.”

So, some manufacturers have tried to update the style to make it more appealing – with mixed results. A few looks to avoid:

• Cap sleeves. An unflattering sleeve length on many women, both from a balance perspective and where they hit on your arm. Janet Wood (co-founder of the Fashion Fit Formula) says, “Non-puff cap sleeves can be successfully worn by teenagers with very toned arms, otherwise you are better off in a sleeveless top or with a short sleeve to your perfect pivotal point.”

• V-neckline. Usually a v-neck is more flattering but T-shirt companies often make the “V” too short so the balance is all wrong.

• Extreme fit. Now, instead of making them too baggy they are making them skin tight which is equally unflattering. Can we have a little balance here, please!

So, yes, T-shirts are cheap and easy, but are they worth it? Important note: Settling for something quick and easy at the expense of your personal satisfaction with how you look usually wears thin after awhile.

When buying a T-shirt, look for:

• Flattering Neckline: Generally a V-neck or Scoop.
• Sleeve Length: A short sleeve that hits below the widest part of your arm and doesn’t stick out, go 3/4 length sleeves, or sleeveless.
• Flattering Fit: Something that skims your body rather than swallowing it up or looking and feeling like it’s glued to you.
• Pattern: If a solid color is not your best look, try a fabulous pattern to distract the eye (it works wonders!).

Just today I realized the post office was about to close, and I had a whole pile of orders I needed to take there. I ran upstairs, threw on a pair of dark wash jeans and some fun sandals and a really great short sleeve T-shirt type top from Joseph Ribkoff. It has a v-neck and little bronze studs on the ruched sleeves which makes it unusual and fun to wear. I felt pulled together but super comfortable and casual.

If you’re not sure where to find great T-shirts, try Glima – something like this:

or how about one from Before and Again like this:

Their designs are a little bit wilder but they have a huge variety of color options.

And, here’s a little hint. If you have a hard time finding short sleeve T-shirts where the sleeve ends in a flattering place on your arm, buy one in a ¾ sleeve and have it cut to your perfect length.

Whatever you do, don’t let yourself settle for a big, baggy, shapeless T-shirt. You might have to branch out a bit and try new stores but it will be worth the time. Give it a try and make a commitment to yourself to feel good whether you are going to work or running errands. You’ll love how you feel!