Right or wrong there’s an assumption out there that once a guy finds a woman who will love and marry him, his clothing and style will improve exponentially since she will take over dressing him. As a men’s fashion stylist I’ve made over many a husband, and they almost always tell me the same thing. Having their wife pick out their clothes may have been OK in the beginning of the relationship but later down the line it caused friction. The husband starts to feel like he’s being nagged, even if he knows he could do better. And the wife hates policing what the husband wears, she simply wants to be attracted to him and be proud to show him off in public. That can be especially challenging when the husband is out of his work attire and in casual wear. Work clothes are easier for them to manage because it’s almost a uniform. Plug in dress shirt up top, plug in boring khakis on bottom, etc. Breaking out of that uniform is a whole other topic, so in this post I want to share the key points to putting together killer casual looks. First let’s take a look at why casual wear can be so confusing. 1. Men have many more clothing options than ever before with little or no guidance on what of those increased options will work specifically for them. 2. Most men value comfort above all, and since in their professional lives they put on ‘nicer’ clothes that are not as comfortable as what they wear on the off hours, their assumption is that in order to look better they have to dress fancier and therefore be less comfortable (this bit couldn’t be further from the truth, in fact comfort and style do happily co-exist at the same point in space and time, it’s simply a matter of finding the right brands). 3. As mentioned earlier, there is no formula for casual clothes like there is for business wear, or is there? The result of the above is that on weekends too many guys end up wearing their outdoor gear, workout wear and game day jerseys as casual clothes. Obviously that’s good for hiking, the gym or at a game respectively, but for going out, get-togethers with friends and other social activities, it doesn’t work. What a man puts on his body can be a confidence booster, or killer. Women know this already: when you’re wearing something that you feel absolutely great in, your entire experience of life transforms. You’re more confident, happier, at ease with yourself and others. That’s really why clothing matters, whether you’re at work or at play. So back to that formula.The best part of this is that once a guy understands the basics below it’s no more effort to toss something on that looks great and makes him feel like the king of the jungle, than it does to toss on something sloppy.

Fit

Fit is 75% of looking great, without a good fit no matter how expensive or ‘nice’ the piece is, it won’t look good on. Most men buy clothing that is too large.Being men, they think larger is better, so a guy who should be wearing a medium purchases a large or XL, a fatal mistake since the larger size swallows his frame and makes him appear smaller and sloppy. With a good fit the shoulders are the most prominent part of the man’s silhouette and the rest of the garment skims naturally along the body rather than hanging loosely, or pulling and bunching because it’s too tight. The key is to pick each garment based on how flattering the fit is and not by what the tag says.

Distinction

Every item from a sweatshirt to a blazer is made in a variety of cuts and fabrics to give it a particular feel. Let’s take a look at T-shirts for example. There are the typical Hanes or swag T-shirts that are cut like a box with arms, and then there’s a huge array of trim cut tees. The trimmer cuts have the same width in the shoulders but they taper slightly at the torso, that cut flatters the man’s physique instead of distorting it like the boxy tee. Fabrics and prints also play a big role in distinction. You don’t want bland nor do you want flashy, aim for the middle. For example on one end of the spectrum you have the boring white cotton tee, on the other end, the loud in-your-face print of an Ed Hardy tee. Distinction is about choosing well-cut pieces with subtle design details.In the case of a T-shirt this could be textured slub cotton trim tee in his favorite color.

Layering

Layering is where a man gets the bulk of his individuality.Since every guy has a pair of blue jeans, it’s what he wears with those jeans that make him stand apart for the right reasons. Even in weekend wear a top ‘finishing’ piece adds a lot to a look. For example, an unassuming T-shirt and jeans combo looks a thousand times cooler when you add a tailored soft knit zip hoodie.

Accessories

Men know accessories as black and brown shoes and a reversible belt. While there are a ton of casual accessories for men, we’ll tackle the belt here. The most common mistakes men make in this category are wearing a black business leather belt with jeans, and their gym sneakers as casual shoes. Jeans and shorts need a belt with the same relaxed feel, that means rather than shiny leather opt for a casual belt. This can be fabric like nylon, cotton, or a woven material, or a distressed/washed leather belt. Sneakers are for working out, end of story. Used as a replacement for casual shoes they suck out every ounce of masculinity and make the guy look like a Floridian retiree. Instead, pick up a pair of driving mocs, boat shoes, or street sneakers, which will all look brilliant paired with jeans or shorts and be every bit as comfy to wear. So there you have it, good casual style in four steps. Start with great fitting, distinct pieces, layer them, and add a couple of accessories. I hope this helps the men in your lives sharpen up their casual looks. If you have specific questions you can always email me at emmi@amansworldco.com. For more men’s style advice check out www.amansworldco.com/wordpress. Emmi Sorokin Fashion Crime Fighter

I bet you think I’m going to talk about your hair, don’t you? So many women are contemplating letting their locks go naturally gray and some are even doing it (and looking great!). I’m all for it if you feel good about it. But, that’s not what I’m here to talk to you about today.

One day, not too long ago, I was standing in line in New York City waiting to place my lunch order. With not much to do except look around (and gawk at the sheer number of people waiting to order and the efficiency with which the restaurant was handling the crowds), I did a little people-watching.

It will come as no surprise to you, I am sure, that I am always curious about what people are wearing. On this particular day, there had to be at least 30 people in line and about two-thirds of them were women. It shocked me to notice that every person (men and women) was wearing either gray or black. Yes, every single person! Not one person was wearing another color. Not one!

Well, that’s New York City for you, you might say. Maybe, but let me assure you that sadly the black/gray epidemic has spread beyond the Big Apple. When I gave a presentation to 140 young business women in the Boston area, ninety-eight percent of those in the audience were wearing black or gray (perhaps there was a smattering of navy blue but you get the idea). It was startlingly noticeable.

So, here’s what I’m wondering…Why?

Of course, I hear all the reasons from the women I work with but let’s really look at what gray and black are doing for you…or not doing for you, as the case may be. Let’s start with black because there is so much of it out there and everyone assumes it’s a great neutral.

1. Black goes with everything.

This is generally true if black looks good on you and you are wearing all your best colors with it (which are probably pretty strong colors). But, if your most flattering colors are soft and you try to mix them with black all eyes will be drawn automatically to the black because it will be too harsh compared to the colors that look best on you.

And, let me just say this about black. If it isn’t one of your best colors (and your best colors are based on your hair color, eye color, skin color and your personality) wearing black will naturally drain you, and I’m not just talking about color-wise. Black is very powerful and intense, and it will, if it’s not your best color, stifle your natural joy and radiance.

2. Black doesn’t show dirt.

True enough but there are lots of other beautiful dark colors that will do the same thing. So find the one(s) that look great on you, and they will hide a multitude of sins just as well as black does and often look more flattering.

3. Black is slimming.

Again, who cares if it’s slimming if the overall color is harsh and draining. Other deeper colors will do the same thing. And, guess what, even shades of white will work on you when the outfit is well balanced and in your most flattering colors. (I know the thought of wearing shades of white scares a lot of women so just keep breathing…). Creating a slimming effect is not just about color, by any means.

4. Black is a neutral.

For some it is. But for others it’s not. While some stylists believe that a neutral is a neutral, I don’t. I know that everyone has two or three great neutrals they can wear that work beautifully with their natural coloring and blend well with their best colors. They could include brown, navy, gray, black, camel, cream, and white. This creates a seamless look and gives you lots of ways to play with it without worrying about trying to make a color “work.” Who needs or wants that extra stress?

5. Black is easy.

While there is truth to this it’s mostly because the designers throw so much black (and gray) at us that you can build an entire wardrobe all in black in about 20 minutes. Will it be easy? Yes. Will it be satisfying and delicious? Usually not. As you begin to integrate more of your fabulous colors into your wardrobe, an all black outfit (unless black is really one of your absolute best colors) will lose its appeal.

In many women’s closets black is there for all the reasons above, and it’s no wonder that when they get dressed, they easily find an outfit that is “good enough” or “easy” but that feels lacking in personality. Why end up with an entire wardrobe of “good enough” when you can have (and deserve) so much more?

Now let’s look at gray for a minute, too.

For a couple of years now, gray has been the “new black,” and as a result many women have entire wardrobes created around this color. It felt refreshing to them after so much black, but they were hoodwinked into believing that everyone can wear it well and were told that’s because “it’s a neutral.” Yikes! Light gray only looks good on a tiny fraction of people but huge numbers of women are actually wearing it. Charcoal gray is slightly better but then it just comes close to black. Like any color, if it looks good on you then it’s amazing and that makes it a great neutral, otherwise leave it on the rack. (And, if you’re not sure, steer clear!)

I often hear women say, “But gray looks decent on me.” Be careful of this. In most situations, ‘decent’ is synonymous with “good enough,” and that is a far cry from awesome. There was so much gray in the stores that it made buying it easy but, again, this is not a way to build a lasting and delicious wardrobe. As Cheryl Richardson says, always pass up good for great!

It is never worth it to settle for colors you don’t love and that don’t look beautiful on you. Ninety-nine percent of the time you can find at least some of your best colors in the stores (or wait 2 weeks and new shipments of clothes come in in new colors and you can look again). Do this long enough (even in those seasons when the color choices are challenging), and you’ll have a complete (and beautiful) wardrobe. The more you hold firm and select only the colors that look great on you, the better chance you will have of creating a wardrobe you absolutely love. Give in too often and you end up with a ‘decent’ wardrobe – that doesn’t sound particularly inspiring or fun, does it!

This is one of the key steps in creating a beautiful wardrobe, and there’s very little “gray” area here.

Not sure what colors look best on you? Find a color expert (not someone who does colors by the seasons) and have your own personal palette created. It will be one of the best steps you’ve ever taken toward a fabulous wardrobe. For more information about what a consultation with me looks like, go here: http://totalimageconsultants.com/services/personal/color-analysis/

Are you confused? Do you head into a store all hopeful and happy and leave disgruntled and crabby? Some of you tell me that shopping has gotten to the point where you walk into the store filled with dread and a certainty you won’t find anything – that’s how often you’ve been disappointed.

Knowing what to buy and what looks good can feel tricky. I regularly get questions about particular styles and whether they are suited to someone over 40…and in some cases, anyone at all regardless of her age.

So, I thought we’d have a little fun with it. Let’s talk about 5 fashion or makeup styles that are questionable at best and are, in some cases, absolute no-no’s, especially for women over 40(ish).

1. Puffy Short Sleeves. We are not little girls anymore, and puffy sleeves have a tendency to infantilize grown women. Sure, it can depend on the degree of “puff” and the feeling of the rest of the outfit, but if you put something on and the first thing you see when you look in the mirror is a young girl staring back at you, it’s probably best to leave it to the teenagers. If it is combined with a babydoll style top, don’t even try it on.

2. Too Tight Tops. Not too long ago my partner and I were having lunch in our favorite restaurant and a group of women walked in – two young women and a third woman who we presumed to be their mother. The mother was wearing a white spandex, low cut top. It left absolutely nothing to the imagination (especially from behind) and was unflattering on too many levels to count. I felt sad for her because instead of making her look younger it made her look older.

Yes, the style these days is to wear everything super tight, and in some cases it can have a slimming effect (if the fabric has enough body to hold you in). But, more often than not the opposite is true. Combine that with the fact that the designers today (especially in the summer) have a tendency to make tops out of paper thin fabrics that forgive absolutely nothing and reveal everything. Whether or not you find it attractive, the one certainty is that it is distracting.

Always be sure the fit of your garments skims your body and the fabric glides rather than clings.

3. Too Short Pants. Pants that end at the ankle are universally unflattering. They will always make your legs look shorter and never hit you at a place that balances your body. Mostly, they just look like you washed your pants and they shrank but you didn’t notice.

4. Heavy Eyeliner. Many women get stuck in a makeup rut wearing what they’ve always worn because it used to work. The problem is that what was fun and trendy when we were younger can look heavy and overwhelming when we are a tad older. So many women have come to me wearing a thick pencil or liquid eyeliner that probably was chic when they were 20 but now is distracting and just too much on their eyes. We see the eyeliner first and foremost and never get to notice the natural beauty of their eye color.

If this sounds familiar, switch for 10 days to using a powder liner on your upper lashline. Use a small liner brush and smudge it right between the lashes. Use a very dark brown, charcoal or even black. This look has a lot of impact without looking overwhelming.

Wearing eye makeup in a new way can be one of the hardest things for a woman to get used to. It is true that when we’ve seen ourselves the same way for many years, we almost don’t recognize our faces when the makeup changes. Even seemingly subtle changes have a big impact, which is why I suggest wearing your new look for 10 days before you decide (plus it can take you a little while to feel comfortable with a new technique).

5. Unnatural Lip Line. As we get older our lips get thinner. This is bad news for those of us who naturally have thinner lips. Knowing how to plump them up a bit without using injectibles is tricky. I’ve noticed women lining outside their natural lipliner with a lip pencil or wearing their lipstick slightly outside the natural line. Please don’t. Mostly it makes you look a bit like Goldie Hawn in “First Wives Club” and looks simply curious at best.

I understand this issue since I have a naturally thin upper lip. I use a very natural colored dry (not creamy) lip pencil to line just at the upper edge of my natural line. The color looks like my natural lips and that’s about as much as I can push it without it looking kind of scary! In case you’re interested, this is the lip liner I use: BWC Pinky Brown Lip Liner http://www.totalimageconsultants.com/makeup.shtml#lips The dryness of the pencil helps keep lipstick from bleeding.

And, when it comes to choosing a lipstick color, keep it in the light or medium range – never dark. And, smile a lot!

I want to be sure to acknowledge that fashion is not an exact science. I’ll be the first to say that. You will definitely find exceptions to every rule, and I am definitely one for trying new things and exploring new styles. That said, the ones I shared above are fashions that unless you are absolutely, positively sure you can pull them off, let someone else experiment with them. I promise that there are so many other beautiful styles out there that it’s really not necessary to try to “make” something work. If you have to try that hard it generally isn’t worth it, and you won’t miss anything by leaving it out.

Are you a woman over 40 who has your own list of questionable styles? Please share!