|
|
 |
June 2005 Fashion Secrets
Read Fashion Secret Archives Here
Get the Hair You Want
5 Areas of Frustration and the Solutions
Hair always seems to be too… well… something. Too curly, too straight, too frizzy, too unruly, too thin, too thick, too limp, too unmanageable, too time-consuming... Even if you love your hair, wait 5 minutes (especially if you live in New England) and that is bound to change.
90% of all women who come to me for a consultation of any kind share a common frustration… their hair. From my presentation to a girl scout troop several years ago when a group of 14 year old girls asked me question after question about hair to my clients who are 50+, the issue of hair continues to be just that… an issue.
One of the things I love about what I do is that I'm not immune to the concerns my clients face and the frustrations that bring them to me. It's always a humbling learning experience to face challenges myself and, believe me, I've had many of them throughout the years. Today it's my hair, tomorrow, who knows!
In keeping with all this, I want to share with you some of what I've learned in my recent hair dilemma, escapade, enlightenment… whatever you want to call it. I'll spare you all the details (or we'd be here for a while) but will offer my insights.
First, let me say that I've always liked my hair. That's not to say that I haven't had my share of frustrations around it, but I would never trade my hair. I was born with thick red hair, and I feel blessed. That hasn't stopped me, however, from spending many days fussing with it, complaining about it and screaming in frustration! The only thing I wanted that I didn't get was curls — my sister got those.
Recently, everything changed. I decided to let my hair grow (after 7+ years of wearing it short). I got through (barely) the in-between stage and wore it shoulder length for a while. Here's where my learning experience truly began, and here's what I learned!
If you're frustrated with your hair, consider these five things:
- Are you open to new ideas from your stylist (be honest!) about ways to wear or color your hair?
- Is your stylist technically and creatively excellent?
- Do you have patience or are you admittedly low-maintenance?
- Are you realistic?
- Do you listen to your own heart or do you allow other people's opinions to supersede your own?
- Are you open to new ideas?
Nothing can change the way you look more immediately and drastically than changing your hairstyle. Nothing! If you want a new look, there are two ways to do it — slowly or all at once. Either way you have to live with it a bit before you decide you hate it (which is a typical response to anything that changes how we're used to seeing ourselves).
- Is your stylist excellent?
Your stylist must understand face shapes, hair/skin color combinations and cutting trends. Without boring you with all the gory details, I have just spent the past year trying different cuts, styling techniques and hair colors (don't get me started on how hard it is to get the perfect red color out of a bottle(s), but we're nearly there!). Knowing that both my stylist and colorist are incredibly talented helped us work together to finetune the process. Without that trust, I don't want to think of where I'd be!
- Do you have patience?
Patience is a virtue I have lived most of my life without, or so it seems. When I recently bemoaned the fact that, although I've been blow drying my hair for 30 years, I can never get it as sleek and smooth as my colorist can, he looked at me and said something profound (at least to me): “It just takes patience,” he said. Yikes! There's that word.
I have tons of hair and yet I want to blow it dry in 5 minutes and have it look great. Not going to happen! Like it or not, 15-20 minutes is what it takes. Finally, after 30 years, I acquiesced. It worked. Now, I spend the time because it's better than complaining for the entire day about how my hair didn't come out the way I wanted it to. The other option would have been to cut it short again, and I didn't want to do that now. I had to make a decision!
- Are you realistic?
If what you want your hair to do goes against its normal way of being, then you have to make a decision: either make the investment of time, energy, money, or tools to get what you want (this can include doing it yourself or paying your stylist to do it regularly for you), or get a good cut that lets your hair do what it does best and be happy with it (even a great stylist cannot make your hair be what it's not).
- Do you allow other people's opinions to supersede your own?
Everyone has an opinion, especially about someone else's hair. Whether it's your mother, your 5-year-old or a stranger on the street, their opinion is just that…their opinion. Ask 10 more people and you'll get that many more opinions. You have to decide for yourself, after you've lived with a new style or color for awhile, if you like it.
If you're unsure, ask someone who can be objective. Be specific in your questions. Are their aspects of the cut/color you like but feel uncomfortable with other parts? After a while, uncertainty about whether you like it or not really translates into not liking it enough to keep it. The style either needs to be tweaked or completely changed. Even if it looks really good on you (by other people's standards), that's inconsequential if you're not comfortable with it. Of course, if what you really want is someone else's hair then that's a completely different story and not so easily solved.
Let me share an example of this: It's very "in" right now to have your hair look a little messy or tousled. My stylists kept encouraging me to try letting it mostly air dry to see what I thought. So, taking my own advice, I was a good sport. I tried it for months. Finally, I looked at myself in the mirror one day and could see myself objectively. My hair looked fine, really, but it just wasn't me. I'm high maintenance. In or out, I like a more styled, refined look. My blow drier and I are not parting ways anytime soon!
The next time you look in the mirror and cringe, cry, or swear about your hair, consider the five concerns above. Look at which one(s) is not being met and address that issue. There's an answer for everyone. Of course, there's no guaranteeing you'll like the answer (perhaps what you really need to do is change the stylist you've had for the 10 years or put more time or money into styling, or not perm and color your hair at the same time). Like it or not, however, there is a solution! Sometimes it just takes being brave enough, like me, to finally understand after 30 years that 20 minutes is what my hair requires to get what I want. Darn!
Copyright 2005, Total Image Consultants - All rights reserved.
To purchase Ginger's book "Fashion Secrets Mother Never Taught You", please click here.
Copyright 2004, Total Image Consultants - All rights reserved.
Fashion Secret 2004 is written and produced by Total Image Consultants. Please direct all questions and comments to ginger@totalimageconsultants.com.
If you would like to forward this newsletter, we ask that you do so in its entirety. Do not alter its content or form and please include copyright info. Thank you. To purchase Ginger's book "Fashion Secrets Mother Never Taught You", please visit www.totalimageconsultants.com or www.amazon.com.
|
|
 |
