Is Your Biggest Fashion Influence Positive or Negative?

February 4, 2011

Where did you learn about fashion and style?

Okay, so I know what some of you are thinking…”Learn about fashion?  I never learned about fashion which is why I have a closet full of clothes I don’t wear.”

If you’re 20 you might not know what I’m talking about. The world is definitely a different place today than it was 10, 20 or 30+ years ago.  We didn’t have the internet, the vast array of fashion magazines, red carpet analyses, and makeover TV shows were a long way off. But, the truth is no matter how old you are, many women are still being unduly influenced by something way more powerful and longlasting: Hurtful comments and unwanted advice from friends, relatives and yes, even strangers!

If you’ve been the unfortunate recipient of one of these remarks, then you know that they can wreak havoc on one’s self-esteem and as a result one’s personal style.  Often, all it takes is one (just one!) comment like this:

“‘Only a real geek wears tan and grey together.’ To this day, I am petrified about choosing the wrong color combinations, and I’m extremely jealous when other women manage to wear the combinations I thought were forbidden, think of all the wasted opportunities.”

Or what about this…”I had a health teacher who made me stand up in front of the class while she said, ‘You see, here’s a fat person who knows how to dress to make herself look thinner.'” And, a mother’s comment is often one of the most challenging to dismiss.  As one woman shared with me…“My mother used to tell me, ‘You have muscular legs which is a sign of stubbornness and you should wear long skirts or pants.'” Was this purposefully hurtful or her version of “sound advice” coming from mom.  Who cares!  It’s hurtful, and guess what…who says she’s right?
Sometimes the comments are just plain clueless like this one, “I know it’s so hard for you to work for such a beautiful boss. She’s the beauty queen and you’re the librarian.”  (At least we hope it’s a misguided “joke” and not just mean spiritedness that prompted this comment, but that’s no excuse.  Everyone can learn to be more kind and thoughtful.)

What about you?  Are there comments like these that are holding you back from expressing that really amazing part of you that deserves to be shared with the world, and most importantly honors who you are?

What’s the First Step?

Awareness. Sometimes we bury those remarks so deep inside that we are not even aware they are affecting us on a daily basis.  As a result, we tend not to question the validity of those comments and live with the (sometimes subtle and sometimes just familiar) repercussions every day.
Here’s the thing.  If you don’t confront those old comments or “helpful” advice, they can haunt you forever.  Like this woman whose comment broke my heart, “I try to hide those ‘inferior parts,’ alter my appearance and/or avoid certain situations in life.”

Or this woman who shared a very poignant experience she has lived with for many years:

“Even though my two front permanent teeth did slightly resemble beaver or rabbit teeth in that they were a tad larger than normal and protruded just a bit over the bottom teeth, it was incredibly painful when my father referred to me as “Buck Teeth”  “Rabbit Tooth” or “Beaver”.   They weren’t that ugly, but over the years I learned not to smile, or if a smile erupted, I’d  smile with my mouth closed.   If I inadvertently laughed with my teeth exposed I would quickly cover my mouth with my hand in  self-consciousness.   I felt as though I had been caught in a dreadful act.  But I’m getting over it–I’m 62!”

Now What?

Does any of this resonate with you?  Is there a ‘comment’ that has been lurking in your closet somewhere keeping you stuck and compromising your self-confidence?  Take a look and see.  Has it been adversely affecting how you dress or limiting you in some way with your wardrobe and style?

These negative comments have absolutely no place in your psyche or your wardrobe.  I strongly encourage and support you to do what you need to do to dismiss them once and for all (remember, these are usually more about the other person than you) so they no longer have a stronghold on you.  Sure, you will probably have to get creative but it will be worth it in the long run as you clear away these insensitive comments and allow yourself to embrace a feeling of delight in your body and your personal style.
Believe me, I do not take this topic lightly.  In fact, it was such a prominent issue that I devoted an entire chapter in my home study program Who Taught You How To Dress?” to Hurtful Comments and Unwanted Advice.

These insensitive remarks often do the most damage when we feel insecure about a part of our body or question our ability to look as fabulous as we’d like to.

“Who Taught You How To Dress?” is about empowering women…you…to feel amazing every day.  I walk you through the process of addressing inner as well as outer obstacles that keep you stuck in a fashion rut.

And, as an very special bonus, only women who have this program have access to the fabulous on-line discussion group where you can ask questions, share frustrations and breakthroughs and even post pictures to get feedback (sensitive, empowering feedback only) on your fashion and style concerns and adventures.

There are 3 reasons why this is the perfect time to take advantage of all “Who Taught You How To Dress?” has to offer:

  1. It’s an amazing first step in creating a wardrobe and personal style you love – and you get a free private 30-minute consultation with me on the phone (or in my studio if you are local).
  2. The on-line fashion discussion group is amazing.  Learn from what others are posting and ask your questions easily and watch for new benefits to help support you even more fully in your personal transformation.  It’s almost as good as having me in your closet with you.
  3. Grab your copy now before the significant price increase. It is now $227 and on March 1st it is going up to $397.

Every woman, no matter how young or old, heavy or slim, tall or short, can look fabulous every day.  A very key step in the process is having positive fashion influences.  Be absolutely sure you know and, most importantly, be sure to banish the negative influences that have no place in your head or your closet.

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