Are You Settling for Good Enough?

April 22, 2011

When you choose a doctor do you want the best or do you say, “What the heck, good enough is good enough?”

Of course not!

When you help your child with her homework and she tells you that 2+2=5, do you say, “Oh, Sweetie, that’s good enough?”

I doubt it!

When you go out for dinner and order spaghetti and they bring you lentil soup, do you send it back or say that’s good enough?  Chances are good you send it back.

So, why do you get dressed every day in something that is just…well…good enough?

Recently, I was shopping with a woman for the first time, and she tried a top on.  As she looked in the mirror and assessed what she saw, I could feel her mind whirling.  I asked her how she liked it, and she hesitated and then said, “I’m not sure I like the fabric but it fits so I think it’s good enough.”

Oooops…I think not!  That was her old MO, but I was there to help her move beyond that and never settle for less than great or fabulous or terrific – never, ever just good enough!

She looked relieved (and maybe a tad skeptical or nervous) when I explained this to her.  Up until then, good enough had been her default.  She always felt thankful when she at least met that (low!) standard.

But, that was why she had called me and so that was all about to change!

What makes someone settle for “good enough?”

  • A belief that this is the best she can do so she’d better grab it while she can before she has to settle for “not horrible” or worse!
  • Continual frustration finding clothes/styles she likes or that fit properly…or, both.
  • Lack of resources. (I’m not talking about having a limited budget.)  Uncertainty as to where to shop to find what she likes and that is within her budget. Great finds can be found at K-Mart, Target or thrift stores, so money is not the issue most people think it is.
  • Compromised self-confidence or low self-esteem (often from past experiences with hurtful comments and unwanted advice).
  • Lack of time. Some women are just so busy that this aspect of self-care falls to the bottom of their priority list.
  • Lack of interest. Not every woman enjoys shopping (especially if she can’t easily find what she likes), and it is only recently that women have felt comfortable expressing that preference.

There is a solution to each of these situations and the pay off is a wardrobe that screams fabulous!

Consider these things the next time you shop:

  • Good enough is never the best you can do. And, no, it doesn’t always mean you have to spend more money, lose weight or drink from the fountain of youth.  When you have the proper tools to help you make good choices, it gets easier to understand how to pass up good for great.
  • So many women stay stuck in a fashion rut hoping to find something new at the same old places.  Branching out and trying something new can have exciting results (and sometimes, yes, it just gives you a good chuckle!).
  • In my home study program (www.whotaughtyouhowtodress.com) I devote an entire chapter to hurtful comments and unwanted advice.  Sadly, it is much needed since so many women harbor feelings of inadequacy related to their bodies.  The culprit is often identified as a past overheard conversation about them, a direct insult, or perhaps a backhanded compliment.   The sad truth is that as long as these feelings prevail, your wardrobe will suffer, too.  Becoming aware of the hold derogatory comments has on your psyche (and consequently your personal style) is the first step to moving past “good enough.”
  • The only solution to the issue of no time is to make time. But (and there’s a big but), it is critical that you understand how to find the things that will make you happy.  When you do this you are much more likely to enjoy the experience of shopping and then…surprise…you often find the time.  Either way you still have to shop from time to time, but without learning how to find the things you love to wear, you will continue to waste a lot of time standing in front of your closet hoping something new and wondrous will magically appear and feeling despondent when it doesn’t!
  • If you truly hate to shop you have two choices…learn to do it as effectively and efficiently as possible or get someone to help you and streamline the experience. Of course, the third choice is to keep doing what you are doing.

Here’s the bottom line: We spend too much of our life dressing – at least once a day!  You deserve to have this be a joyful (or at least peaceful!) experience.  If it isn’t, you are missing a delicious opportunity for self-expression and creativity.

I cannot say this enough.  This is not a hopeless situation for anyone.  You CAN have a wardrobe that is way better than good enough. Yes, you can!

Can I also tell you a secret…good enough is different for everyone! (One person’s good enough can be another person’s favorite outfit and vice versa.)  It all has to do with what makes your heart sing.  Once you know that, you will never settle for “good enough” again.

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