Does your family comment on your body or what you eat?
The holidays are in full swing and while it can be lovely to spend time with family it can also be a bit stressful. We can feel on-guard or like we have to defend ourselves and our choices. And nowhere is that more true than around our bodies and food.
When my friend and colleague, Nina Manolson, recently shared a post about how to respond when people comment on your body or what you eat, I asked her if I could share it with you.
Hopefully you won’t need to use any of these comebacks, but at least this way you’ll be ready and feel more confident should the need arise to address this.
As we head into the holiday season, I want to share some tools to help you respond to those family members or friends who comment on your body or what you eat.
These also work if your friends and family are in the painful habit of constantly commenting on their OWN body and diet!
Here are 5 ways to:
Bring more depth and meaning to the conversation
Set a clear boundary
Shift the focus of the conversation
“𝘋𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘤𝘶𝘴 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦?
𝘐’𝘮 𝘴𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘢𝘭 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘧𝘵 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘮𝘭𝘺 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬.”
This widens the conversation to the cultural impact and shifts the focus off of you.
“𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘕𝘦𝘵𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘹 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘺𝘴?”
This is a classic change the subject maneuver
“𝘐’𝘮 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘺 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘧𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘴𝘰 𝘐’𝘮 𝘯𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘺𝘱𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘯 𝘴𝘰𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘴𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 (𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭)?”
This is a direct and open communication with a clear boundary.
“𝘋𝘪𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝟻𝟹% 𝘰𝘧 𝟷𝟹 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳-𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘈𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘶𝘯𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝟷𝟽 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘰𝘭𝘥, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺-𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘴𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝟽𝟾%! 𝘊𝘢𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘱𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘦 𝘪𝘧 𝘸𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯’𝘵 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘣𝘴𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘦𝘴!”
This brings facts and information to the conversation and invites a deeper cultural inquiry.
“𝘐’𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘳𝘯…𝘴𝘰…𝘐’𝘥 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘥𝘰 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘰𝘳 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭.”
This is very clear boundary setting while also assuming positive intent of the other person
Which response feels like you could put into action most easily?
Want to know more about Nina?
Nina Manolson M.A. NBC-HWC is a Body-Peace® coach. She helps women end the war with food and body and finally feel truly at home in their body – as it is. She brings her 30 years’ experience as a therapist, Body-Trust ® Guide and Psychology of Eating Teacher to helping women create a positive relationship with their food and body.
Nina’s work and body-poems – are all in service of helping women get off the diet roller-coaster and into a compassionate and powerful way of eating & living which creates deep, long-lasting change in and with their bodies. Learn more at: NinaManolson.com
Pick up your free ebook: HOW TO BE A WOMAN AT PEACE IN YOUR BODY: https://ninamanolson.com/bodypeaceebook/